Misophonia (I think that’s what it is called?)

[Windowboxgardener]

DS10 freaks out at the sound of me eating or drinking. Anything. Even the tiniest chew, swallow or gulp. If we are supposed to be having lunch or dinner he will yell at me and then will sometimes take himself off to a table at the other end of the room and eat his food there so he cannot hear me eat. If I am drinking a cup of tea he will leave the room altogether.

I do not eat with my mouth open, I don’t chew loudly, I don’t slurp, I don’t even eat especially noisy food. I find his behaviour very difficult and I don’t know what to do. I am also worried that he may have a lot of problems in the future if he cannot be around people who are eating or drinking.

I looked this up and I think it is called misophonia, hypersensitivity to certain sounds. It sounds like it is not a recognised condition and there is no known cause or treatment.

I tried buying some special earplugs for him that I saw online called Flare which are usually used by autistic people and those with sensory processing difficulty. However they would not stay in his ears longer than a few seconds and he said they didn’t work anyway.

Does anyone else have this problem, and if so what do you do?

I have misophonia, my experience is just like your son's. It started in childhood. I am also autistic (which I didn't know until last year, I'm now 35), and misophonia/sound sensitivity/other sensory sensitivities are common in autistic people. But non-autistic people can also have misophonia.

We are often 'triggered' by family members, for me it's my mother and father, but I also get it with strangers on public transport or certain colleagues at work.

Please know that misophonia is not simply a feeling of annoyance or slight discomfort at hearing the 'trigger person' eat, it's a horrible, all-consuming sensation of panic, rage, fear, adrenaline spiking, 'flight or fight' - at least it is for me and many other misophoniacs. It's extremely distressing and has caused much suffering. I would not wish it on anyone. It's something we can't help, can't 'get over' and can't ignore in the moment. It's truly a horrible sensation and added to that the fact that we are being triggered by people we love, who we don't want to hurt.

I relate very strongly to what you say about your son seeking means to escape the noises. I know you say you don't eat loudly, slurp, etc. but it honestly doesn't make a difference, people with misophonia/sound sensitivity can pick up tiny noises and will hyperfocus on them, even the quietest of noises. The slightest swallow or lick of lips. And even if the noises are barely audible, sometimes just seeing the mouth move or just knowing the 'trigger person' is eating is enough to cause fast heartrate, adrenaline spikes, stress, anger, fear, etc.

I don't have much advice really - you are correct that it can't be treated and the causes are not known (except for autism, which is the cause of mine) - but all I would say is please try to be understanding. Speak openly with your son, ask him to explain how he feels and how this affects him, try to come up with ways you can make home and family life less stressful for him considering this condition.

Please message or @ me if you want any more details or advice, I have to head to bed now but happy to speak more about this/my experience/my thoughts.

My daughter has this too. She is triggered mostly be her father, but also people at school. I tried flare for her, they didn't work. She got on slightly better with ''Loops', at school at least.
Try not to take it personally, I know it feels awful....for them more than anyone.
There are some really good misophonia parent support groups on Facebook,

@cirillaofcintra has explained it really well, particularly the sad juxtaposition of the absolute rage triggered, combined with the fear and upset that is caused by it being triggered by someone you care about.

I agree. Therexare support groups, but I would advise that your son steers clear of them himself. I found them helpful briefly, but then reading things about other people's triggers began to increase the number of triggers that I experience. I came away from the groups but still have the additional triggers 5 years later!