When did you get your "Schzuzz" back?

[whistlingwinds]

Following your first baby, when did you get your "scchzuzz" back? Like, ya know, your sparkle?

I am 6 months pp with DD1 and man I feel frumpy.

Never have time to do hair, makeup etc... I live in sweats... messy bun, dry shampoo, odd socks.... u know the drill, Lol

I ADORE being a mummy and I know I'm doing great at that bit but I feel like I've lost myself somewhat. I used to be so glam and sparkly and sexy...!

When did you feel like you again ? And how?

X

My little boy’s coming up to 8months and I’m struggling! I don’t have the time to exercise like I used to, I’m so tired I’m mainlining sugar and I’m still 3kg heavier than pre baby. Also the lines that have suddenly appeared on my face make me look 10yrs older!

i feel like I will feel more myself when the weight comes off and my body feels more like my own again…but who knows! Glad to know it’s not just me.

@Namechange567775 defo not just you hun. I don't even want my partner to touch me, I get self conscious if a stranger looks at me.

I feel like I've forgotten how to be me. Part of me wants to just be at home, being mummy without the pressure of having to look good haha...

I'm sure we will find that motivation and zest again soon.... xx

If I’m honest probably 18 months for it to come back fully? I did go back to work to a new role which crippled me with stress so I don’t think that helped!
you're still really new to it so my advice is accept you won’t feel yourself 24/7 for now but allow yourself days to be the old you, go out with friends etc and get some you time

Erm….. DD is 3 and I think I’ve had it a handful of times. Pregnant again now so not expecting it any time soon.

But I’ve never put massive time or effort into my appearance, and now I really don’t care. I know plenty of well groomed mums so it is possible!

I was starting to look and feel better about myself and I fell pregnant with DD2. Boom!!! Back to lounge wear and messy hair, dark circles, and what not!!!

I don't think it comes back. Your life has changed and you change with it

My son is 4.5 years and mine is just coming back!

Probably about 8 months after DC2. I started working out properly at about 6mo pp and have kept it up since. I brought clothes that fitted too - I sold loads of stuff on vinted and then used that money to buy decent stuff in the right size that I actually liked. Both my kids now sleep which is a major difference compared to when DC1 was a baby and toddler.

No more babies for me so guess I better work on what I've got!

This is so deep! That's the reality...

Energy and body not the same 10 years later and I accept that ..,
I really hate the assumption that a woman should lose the baby weight

I really hate how women apologise for not "getting back to how they were" and feel under this assumed pressure that we should look and perform just as we did before both sexual work wise etc etc WHY?
Can we change this please ?

Don't agree with this at all!

It does come back op if you want it to
Mindset, time and determination

Don't listen to advice like this it isn't helpful

Look op some people will tell you ' months ' and some say ' years '

Honestly it isn't years - not if you want it to be but some people love the drama

I'm 8 months in and only starting to feel a bit more normal but no where near how I was

Luckily I have an 11 yr old and know from previous feelings it just takes time

But it does come back but everyone is different

Acceptance is key that at the moment I'm just mum but one day I'll be me again

My best friend felt back to herself 6 weeks pp
She's out at brunches, glamming it up and looks amazing - I'm the total opposite but I'm ok with it

I don't know what 'schuzz' is

But having had 3 babies in under 3 years, I would say it took about 4-6 months to feel myself again after baby 1, and a year plus after the twins.

I don't own or like sweat pants, T-shirts or trainers so that helped. I kind of found a comfy but vaguely put together wardrobe (mostly jumper dresses/ jeans and nice jumpers/ boots) and lived in those.

Shower/ hair/ basic makeup every morning took 20 mins while DH had the kids. I don't get why people can't find time for that. Dry shampoo is awesome and I went down to a wash every other day and ditched the curling tongs.

But ... I think it depends what you want to prioritise. I really wanted to feel like my normal self and my appearance was part of that. And it didn't really take much doing 🤷🏻‍♀️

It really depends on how busy you are OP! After my first it took a couple of months but my second is 12 months old now and with a new house, studies, new FT demanding job, hubby in a new role ... its taking far longer this time round to feel like me. I will have date nights where i can feel more like me and do try to get out of the loungewear a few times a week but it depends on what youre juggling and your priorities on how long that process takes

I was back to looking myself by a few weeks both times but "myself" just means wearing jeans and a top with brushed hair. Bye bye maternity trousers!

19m here ... still waiting ... following with interest

Because some people don't have the luxury of having 20 mins for their partner to watch the children - crying/colick/hard work baby I'm sure some others know what I mean

Don’t expect too much in the first year! 2-3 is better but won’t be exactly the same

@sparkle1011 Well, I did have colicky and crying babies (x2) some mornings but ... surely that's what dads are for. Of course I understand it's harder if you're a single parent (not the case for OP) or your partner is working very odd hours, but surely in most cases it's pretty achievable to jump in the shower before he goes to work?

If he wasn't there, I'd even bring the bouncer in with me and just make faces or sing songs from the shower. Or pop in when baby naps. I just can't fathom how it's impossible to find 15-20 minutes to shower in the morning. If you really want to. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You didn't say just shower though
You said shower hair make up and don't know why people don't find the time
Maybe their mental health doesn't allow them to
Maybe their husbands/partners aren't there in the mornings
Your post is judgey and you sound like you're looking down your nose

And also yes I agree find time to shower and bring the bouncer in but you said about husband being there for 20 mins and my point was some people don't have that! I've read this a lot on here lately so think more careful what you say

@sparkle1011 I didn't mean to sound judgy so apologies if that's how it came across.

Of course in exceptional circumstances / mental health issues, anyone is going to struggle. But in the normal run of things, it shouldn't be too hard to do it if you want to. And I'm not talking a full blow dry and perfect make-up, more a quick brush and tidy, eye shadow and mascara. I used to leave my hair damp at the ends and coil it into a tight bun so that by the time I went out, I could take the tie out and it had a slight curl and looked less limp. Things like that.

I've just seen it a lot on here lately

It's hard to word things and people take offence
I'm so lucky I've had my husband home for 6 months but I feel for people who don't and single mums

I sometimes dont bother with make up but when I do I feel better so agreed there should be enough time but sometimes that's what frustrates me that I don't have the time to
Do what I used to do....but it's just a phase like everything with babies - learnt that from my first

I have a 3 up and 6 week old.

With my eldest, we were in lockdown so there wasn't the pressure of going out and looking "presentable" so to speak. I lived in loungewear with no make up on pretty much every day.

But now with my 6 week old, I am determined to get back to feeling like my old self as soon as I can. As in, exercise, pre-pregnancy clothes, etc. to me, I just feel better about myself when I've done my make up, hair. Etc. of course if I'm just at home all day then I wouldn't bother.

I do agree with @lifesnotaspectatorsport though. 15-20 minutes to have a shower is do-able in almost all circumstances. It's a basic for me. I wouldn't compromise on that. Even when it's just me and the two kids at home, I make sure that if baby is sleeping, the eldest is occupied with something whilst I shower. Or baby is in his swing chair if he's awake. There's been times baby has got unsettled whilst I shower but that just means I go a bit quicker and baby has a little whinge which isn't the end of the world!

I genuinely am in awe of single parents. It's been crazy hard sometimes even with two and my DH is brilliant.

I also got frustrated that I couldn't do all the things I used to do. Especially my hair! I have long straight hair and it's such a mess without the tongs. I've actually just gone back to work full time and I'm enjoying being smart, professional me again. It's been a long time.