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Parenting

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Original poster

1st birthday party etiquette - can you leave early?

14 replies

Fagin99 · 10/03/2023 22:50

Writing this as I genuinely don't know the etiquette! The babies in my NCT group are all coming up for their first birthdays, and one mum has organised a soft play party for her daughter which we'd like to go to. However, it's 11am - 2pm which is directly over my baby's nap time and lunch time. She's a terrible sleeper so I hate skipping her nap entirely - do I need to stay for the whole party? My own baby isn't that mobile yet so doesn't get a lot out of soft play either, and finds them a bit overwhelming. I just don't want to be rude and get the etiquette wrong! No other details about food or cake - I could of course ask, its just a bit awkward. Do you think it's acceptable to only go for an hour and a half? Thanks!

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kitcat15 · 10/03/2023 23:04

You need to stay for the cake and singing happy birthday if you are being hosted ….if you are paying for your own entry then fine to leave whenever

Original poster

Fagin99 · 11/03/2023 08:31

Thanks, I'm assuming cake is always at the end? Sorry, its been years since I was at a child's party so I honestly can't remember. I'm assuming arriving late and staying until the end is ruder than arriving on time and leaving early? (Letting the host know in advance of course.)

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Original poster

Fagin99 · 11/03/2023 08:34

Also, is the staying until the cake/singing etiquette the same even for a baby's party who obviously won't know anything about it? Thanks

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Idontgiveagriffindamn · 11/03/2023 08:36

It’s absolutely fine to leave early if you let the host know beforehand. I’d say for another reason other than lunch and nap though!

mynameiscalypso · 11/03/2023 08:37

I think it's a bizarre time for a 1st birthday party - I don't know any one year olds who haven't napped for at least some of that time period. I think it's totally fine to only go for a bit. 3 hours is a v long party anyway and at 1, it's more for the parents than the child.

Aftjbtibg · 11/03/2023 08:38

I think it’s easier to arrive late having let the host know rather than leave early; 3 hours is quite long for a soft play party. Even for older children 2 hours is plenty long enough.

kitcat15 · 11/03/2023 08:44

Fagin99 · 11/03/2023 08:34

Also, is the staying until the cake/singing etiquette the same even for a baby's party who obviously won't know anything about it? Thanks

Yes it is....it would be considered very ride around here to turn up accepting someone's hospitality then piss off without being at the cake bit....1 year old or 10 year old ....you wouldn't be invited again

Marchforward · 11/03/2023 08:46

It’s an odd time to have a 1 year old’s birthday party.

BluetheBear · 11/03/2023 08:53

You wouldn't need to skip the nap entirely though would you? Your child could nap after the party.

If you want to leave early, I'd maybe say at the outset (when accepting the invitation) that you'd love to come but it is X's nap time at 12 o'clock so you would only be able to come for an hour and see what they say. It's up to them then isn't it.

I agree it's an odd time for a party but I think some people are a bit precious about nap times.

Welshfiver · 11/03/2023 09:01

I don't think I'd go at all at that time. All very well saying they can nap at a different time but some just don't. Mine would be a mess by midday and we'd have to leave.

mynameiscalypso · 11/03/2023 09:09

I don't think it's so much that people are precious about nap times but that I can't think of many worse places to be than soft play with a bunch of overtired and screaming toddlers.

TenThousandSpoons · 11/03/2023 09:09

3 hours is a ridiculously long soft play party especially for 1 year olds.

I would either go at 11, food will be at 12 and they’ll probably sing happy birthday with the food while the kids are all seated then try to last another half an hour until 1pm. If your baby is obviously cranky by then say “Sorry we are going to have to head home for a nap, thanks for a lovely party!” <whilst baby grizzles>

Try to engineer a morning nap and arrive by 11:45 then stay for the rest of the party. Apologise for letting baby’s nap make you late.

Depending what time dd wakes up that day will probably make one option work better for you. I imagine most 1 year olds will need to do one or the other. Maybe the parents have chosen such a long time slot so that some of it will suit most babies, not expecting all babies to come to all of it.

Original poster

Fagin99 · 11/03/2023 09:21

Thank you all, your replies are so helpful! I have so much to learn, ha!

Great suggestions here and I think aiming for 11am - 1pm is a good idea.Thankfully, she's a lovely mum so I'm sure she'll understand. She knows about my baby's dreadful sleeping issues so hopefully it won't sound offensive. I just didn't want to be rude at all and wasn't sure of the best approach!

Thanks again, I appreciate the guidance!

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Original poster

Fagin99 · 11/03/2023 09:25

@TenThousandSpoons (Alanis fan? :-)

I hadn't considered about the time period allowing for all babies' routines, that's a good point. And yes, lunch at 12 sounds probable. Thank you.

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