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Feeling like a rubbish parent

2 replies

Mamabear04 · 10/03/2023 14:24

I'm finding it really hard being a parent. It all feels very intense and at the same time very mundane. DD is 3yo and DS is 8mo. DD started afternoons at nursery 2 months ago. She goes 3 afternoons a week, 1 day with my parents and 1 day with DS and I. She has found it hard to settle at nursery but was doing really well but has basically had a week off due to chickenpox and then another day ontop of that for jags. She finds drop off hard but once she's there she seems OK and is happy on pick up. This past week her bad behaviour has just been ramping up, not listening, snatching toys from DS, having tantrums when she's asked to share, generally tantrums a lot of the time. It might also be in my head but she seems to be refusing cuddles from me like yesterday when my parents dropped her off she didn't run to hug me. I am trying not to be hurt by this but I love her cuddled. When we've been sitting on the sofa watching TV, she refuses cuddles from me. DS is expecting his 4th tooth and is very grumpy, he's also trying to crawl and I can't really leave him when he's on the floor because he falls and bangs his head. I just feel like I've had 3 straight days of especially grumpy children. I just feel so sensitive from all the screaming and I just feel like I'm doing all the wrong things and at the same time no idea what the right things to do are to help DD. Everything seems like a constant battle or negotiation or fighting fires. It just doesn't feel like a hap house and I'm worried because I don't want my kids to grow up in a miserable house but then I don't know how to break the cycle. I am so mentally tired from it all and I just feel constantly exhausted. I feel like a shit mum. DD constantly talks about wanting to go to my parents house and I find myself getting jealous and at the same time wishing she could go more than 1 day a week so I can at least just have more of a break. DH helps out as much as possible but he also works full time and my inlaws never baby sit or even offer. Can someone give advice to make things easier/happier home?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
DragonbornMum · 10/03/2023 15:02

Sounds like you're having a hard time at the moment! Your kids are grumpy because they feel rubbish: it doesn't mean you don't have a happy home.

Is there any way of sending your eldest to your parents for a sleepover when she's feeling better? It's exciting for her and a chance for you to catch your breath. Don't feel like you're getting rid of her; it's good for kids to get away from their parents from time to time

Sending hugs

Rowen32 · 10/03/2023 18:01

My guess is your daughter is really struggling with her new sibling - sees him getting to stay at home and be with you all tbe time and she isn't.. Is there any way you can spend one on one time with her and have her stay home more?she's started nursery and got a new sibling in less than a year which is a huge change in her life...

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