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Original poster

One night away from breast fed baby

28 replies

Anna1998 · 10/03/2023 02:21

My baby is nearly 10 weeks old and has been mostly breast fed since she’s been born. She usually feeds every hour and at night every 3 hours at most. Beginning of next month I’m going away/out for one night and haven’t been away from her since her birth. My mum will be looking after her (we live with my parents so baby is comfortable with her) and will feed her my expressed milk and or formula (if it runs out) during that night until I come back in the morning. She sometimes takes to the bottle and sometimes she doesn’t, how can I prepare her for then so I know she will for sure take to the bottle?

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SunshineAndFizz · 10/03/2023 02:51

You could start giving her one feed from a bottle each day (expressed or formula depending on your preference). If you do it now you'll be confident she can bottle feed while you're away.

DaftFunkyMusic · 10/03/2023 05:20

I wouldn't be going anywhere overnight without my baby at ten weeks old, especially if they didn't already reliably take a bottle.

GoodChat · 10/03/2023 05:45

DaftFunkyMusic · 10/03/2023 05:20

I wouldn't be going anywhere overnight without my baby at ten weeks old, especially if they didn't already reliably take a bottle.

That's fine but is not what the OP asked. Don't try and make her feel bad.

OP I'd get your mom to do some feeds in the run up.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 10/03/2023 06:17

The main issue for me would be at that stage my boobs would have been a red hot mess if I missed that many feeds.

AverageJoan · 10/03/2023 06:17

DaftFunkyMusic · 10/03/2023 05:20

I wouldn't be going anywhere overnight without my baby at ten weeks old, especially if they didn't already reliably take a bottle.

Not helpful

I'd try give her one feed a day from the bottle to get her more used to it and as PP saiid get your mum to do a couple as well so she's used to being fed by her

Lcb123 · 10/03/2023 06:24

DaftFunkyMusic · 10/03/2023 05:20

I wouldn't be going anywhere overnight without my baby at ten weeks old, especially if they didn't already reliably take a bottle.

Not what she asked. You have no idea why she’s going away so don’t make her feel guilt. If you live with your mum I’d be seeing if your mum can give her one bottle a day so she feels confident as well

Cameliasway · 10/03/2023 06:50

Start a daily bottle now and take a pump with you. Start leaving DC with your mum for a few hours here and there, ideally have your mum give the bottle during that time. Be aware some babies take formula from a bottle more readily than expressed milk. Final tip, ignore any judgemental nobs.

Mummyme87 · 10/03/2023 06:57

giving a bottle a day should ensure baby will take it overnight from your mum. But make sure you express very very regularly day and night whilst away to mimic baby otherwise you will end up with mastitis

PotKettel · 10/03/2023 07:01

This weekend get your mum to stay overnight while youre in the house and practice. Get the baby to have 1 feed every night from a bottle, using formula. It taste totally different to breast milk.

My babies would not have cooperated and would have screamed the place down if I tried this so I hope it works out for you

Myeyeballsareonfire · 10/03/2023 07:04

OP whatever you do, bring a pump with you. Your boobs will be in AGONY if you don’t express off the milk.

I left my then 14 month old one night (left at around 6pm so had fed all day) and I was up, in extreme pain at 5am. A much older baby, and I was absolutely shocked at how engorged I was. It was so bad, I couldn’t even hand express.

So don’t be an idiot like me!

freyamay74 · 10/03/2023 07:13

Keep giving a bottle regularly and pump enough to build a good supply. And of course pump while you're away. It will be fine.

Ignore the guilt trippers who just want to make you feel bad that you won't be velcroed 24/7 to your child. At the start of next month the child will be almost 14 weeks old. Of course she can be left with another care giver; provider she's having her needs met.

Honestly, people don't realise it was only 30 years ago many of us were returning to work with 12 week old babies - ok so that wasn't overnight but I was certainly out of the house all day and my dd at a childminder, and yes, I was still breastfeeding. My dd would take breast milk directly from the breast or a bottle, and from about 4/5 months from a sippy cup.

You have a month to prepare and I think the idea of your mum doing a practice overnight while you're in the house is excellent. It will be fine, and you'll realise it's entirely possible to have a happy baby without being there absolutely every minute or every day

NewtoHolland · 10/03/2023 07:22

I agree do a bottle feed or two a day, now will be easier to introduce and get her used to it then when she is older, if your mum can help with these great. I had to satnda and bounce while feeding to get my baby used to the bottle, worth a try. Then perhaps try to stretch the night time feeds a bit if she's gaining weight well, you could shush and cuddle and pat until there's been a 3/4hour gap to try to reduce her waking xx

user40643 · 10/03/2023 07:23

DaftFunkyMusic · 10/03/2023 05:20

I wouldn't be going anywhere overnight without my baby at ten weeks old, especially if they didn't already reliably take a bottle.

Totally agree.

notthisagainforest · 10/03/2023 07:30

Give as many bottles as is possible before you go so you are confident she will take it.

Twizbe · 10/03/2023 07:39

A daily bottle bow but remember to express that feed if you don't want to move to combi feeding.

While you're away you must express when you would feed. That's for your own comfort and to prevent mastitis and reduction of supply.

freyamay74 · 10/03/2023 07:41

@DaftFunkyMusic the OP wasn't asking whether you'd go away. It's irrelevant.

Or are you posting to try to tell the OP she's doing a bad thing and not being a good mummy? Wow.

Ostryga · 10/03/2023 07:44

Remember you will need to pump during the day/night or you’ll be in agony and it can lead to mastitis which is very unfun!

Get your mum to give the bottle whilst you’re not in the room, far more chance of success that way. If baby can smell you they will want you not the bottle. It may also take a bit of experimenting with teats as they can be little fusspots.

Original poster
Anna1998 · 10/03/2023 08:49

Thanks all for your replies- especially the helpful ones!!

So the reason for going is my partner and I have tickets to a concert that we've been really excited and looking forward to going to for a long long time it's in another city (2 hours away and as it finishes late we plan to stay in a hotel overnight) and I always thought it be okay as baby will be 3 months by then but I'm just so anxious about it now. Like I said I live with my parents so my baby is very comfortable with my mum and she has fed her by bottle before!! It's just baby never seems to take bottle from me but will from my partner so maybe it's because she can smell milk on me. We use the MAM bottles that she seems to take well to. I will be leaving 7pm and be back by 11 am the next day so it's just the late evening and night feeds but my mum is really good and will sleep in same room as baby and wake up when baby wakes. I will bring my pumps with me and I won't be drinking too much so I can feed her on breast when I get back to get back to our routine does this sound okay or is she too young to be left overnight with someone else?

OP posts:
GoodChat · 10/03/2023 08:51

@Anna1998 she's fine. I left my first at 10 weeks overnight for a child-free wedding. I was uncomfortable with it too but we FaceTimed and she was happy as Larry with her lovely grandparents.

I was BF too and expressed a lot before I went then hand expressed through the night when I needed to.

Twizbe · 10/03/2023 09:05

It sounds like she will be fine for you to go.

Really though how do you feel about it. What we planned before baby arrives can change if we need it to.

It's ok to follow your gut and your wants on this one.

CheshGirl · 10/03/2023 09:08

DaftFunkyMusic · 10/03/2023 05:20

I wouldn't be going anywhere overnight without my baby at ten weeks old, especially if they didn't already reliably take a bottle.

Agree!

FlounderingFruitcake · 10/03/2023 09:11

It’s fine IF you can be certain that she’ll take a bottle. If you do a bottle at least once a day between now and then, and maybe do a trial run to make sure she’ll take one from your mum too, then go and enjoy yourself! But if there’s any doubt then I wouldn’t go, it’s not fair on baby.

Callmemummynotmaaa · 10/03/2023 09:22

OP the thing is that with parenting, it’s not other peoples thoughts and judgements that matter, but your own.

I EBF my kids, I also left them fairly regularly either for work, or for friends or date nights (and with paid sitters rather than family as family we not an option). BUT that’s what worked for me. I didn’t spend all of the time away worrying. I loved getting the break and for me. I’m a better mom when I also feel like a person too.

BUT I also have friends who felt under huge pressure to leave their little ones and hated being away and found it stressful (rather than restorative).

so..there isn’t a textbook answer for this one! If you want to go, your baby will be loved and safe. Baby won’t starve on one night away (and if you pump it’s highly unlikely that your own supply will be impacted).

Is it a decision you have to make now? Or could you do a bottle a day in prep, and see how you feel? 4 weeks is a long time away in the timeline of a tiny one!

Tina8800 · 10/03/2023 09:50

Give her bottles more often. Especially before nightime. I was breastfeeding at daytime and gave express milk at night.

Really don't understand these comments that says won't leave the baby. First time I had a night out when my baby was 11 weeks and my mum looked after her. She didn't even realised I wasn't there! They so small at this point, in my opinion it is much easier to leave them now than later on when they so aware of their surroundings! Enjoy your time, you deserve it!

I think you just need to push more the bottles. I would advice to try different ones, as for example my baby only took the tommy tippee: if I tried any other, just didn't work. I guess they have preferences of shape and textures.

alsonotmyname · 10/03/2023 10:30

My breast fed babies always got on better with the tall thin bottles rather than wide neck - the teats are long, much like the shape a nipple makes in their mouths when suckling- they're very cheap too so not much lost if it doesn't work