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Original poster

Please can I hear your positive relationships with your opposite sex sibling?

35 replies

sunriseoversea · 09/03/2023 17:42

Hello!

I have one DS (who I am close with) and one DB (who I am not close with at all). My experience of having a brother has actually been pretty rubbish.

I have one DD and am expecting a DS this summer. We won't have any more. I am personally excited to have one of each DC, but it's made me reflect on my relationships with my own siblings a bit. I have a good frame of reference for a close sister/sister relationship, but not a brother/sister one.

To offset my experience, I would love to hear about your positive experiences of adult brother/sister relationships - do you communicate often, spend time together, know each others kids, rely on each other, support one another with your parents etc?? These are all things I hope for them (though I realise there are no guarantees with any siblings!).

Thank you :)

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HereComesMaleficent · 09/03/2023 17:59

I have one older brother. 2 years older.

We have always been close, got on well as children and as adults I see him twice a week, we go on summer holidays away together occasionally as a big family. Days out together to the zoo and stuff. Brothers wife is also a lovely woman and I get on really well with her and even her family who I have met a few times.

All the cousins (children) know each other well. I have a great relationship with my nephew and nieces and DB has a great relationship with my son.

We WhatsApp each other also and just get on really well and are there for each other.

We both look after mum and nan who live together. Me more though as I only have one child compared to his 3.

Really nice little family unit 😊

So yes here's a positive story for you on a adult sibling relationship of a brother and sister.

Jendrw5 · 09/03/2023 18:20

I have one older brother, 2 years older. We've always got on well. When we were kids we did everything together. As adults we see each other often, not that much as we're both married now and have work, family etc. We still occasionally do holidays and days out together too. Also we've never fallen out or even had a proper argument as adults.

Cotswoldmama · 09/03/2023 18:26

I have sisters one is only about a mile a way but I never see her, we get on but she spends more time with her husband's family and I spend more time with my husband's. My husband has a sister and we see her quite a lot and get on well. My sister's husband has sisters and they all get on well. So in my experience mixed siblings get on better as adults!

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NotAdultingToday · 09/03/2023 18:31

I have a younger brother, theres 10 years between us, we were close as kids and as we have grown up we are still close though we might not speak for weeks at a time. We text every now and then. Not for a bad reason just we are both so busy time slips away (and he has a very busy social life 😂)

We have always been able to talk each other ask help if we need to, we look after each other.
We have never had a proper fight (touch wood!) and i love him to pieces.

I think it depends on the personalities my husband and his siblings are all big personalities and drive each other up the wall (though of course they love each other) whereas my brother and me are chilled with each other dont really annoy one another

PretzelBite · 09/03/2023 18:34

my dh has two sisters, one 6 years older who lives just round the corner from us. They are very close and we see her weekly. They have a great relationship.

HermioneWeasley · 09/03/2023 18:37

My brother and I are really close and we do all the things you’ve mentioned. I’ve got one of each and they’re really close already as kids.

StuntNun · 09/03/2023 18:37

I have an older brother (3-year gap) and a younger brother (5-year gap.) I'm closer to my younger brother in that we chat more often and would visit each other and stay at each other's houses occasionally. However I feel that I have a more adult and equal relationship with my older brother in that we don't chat on the phone or text as frequently but are more likely to meet up to go out for the day together. I don't know if it's strange because of the age gap (8 years) but my two brothers don't have a close relationship with each other at all. They find it difficult to find things to talk about and don't seem to have much in common. Whereas when I'm with one of my brothers we pretty much pick up wherever we left off the last time we were together regardless of whether it's been a few weeks or a long time (such as over the Covid lockdowns when I hardly saw them both.)

TalliskerMcSpeculate · 09/03/2023 18:46

Pete and his little sister Sophie off Gogglebox

carriedout · 09/03/2023 18:50

Not me but I have three friends, one male two female, all have great relationships with their opposite sex siblings.

I've two other friends, one male one female, estranged from their same sex siblings.

There are things you can do to foster closeness, the rest is down to them. Not parenting in a sexist way helps.

SirVixofVixHall · 09/03/2023 18:50

HereComesMaleficent · 09/03/2023 17:59

I have one older brother. 2 years older.

We have always been close, got on well as children and as adults I see him twice a week, we go on summer holidays away together occasionally as a big family. Days out together to the zoo and stuff. Brothers wife is also a lovely woman and I get on really well with her and even her family who I have met a few times.

All the cousins (children) know each other well. I have a great relationship with my nephew and nieces and DB has a great relationship with my son.

We WhatsApp each other also and just get on really well and are there for each other.

We both look after mum and nan who live together. Me more though as I only have one child compared to his 3.

Really nice little family unit 😊

So yes here's a positive story for you on a adult sibling relationship of a brother and sister.

That is so lovely !

Labralion · 09/03/2023 19:08

My brother is just away after popping in for a chat with me at my dads! We fought as teens but get on really well now! I have two kids and he has three kids and they all get along so well. It's a different relationship from my sister who I'm incredibly close with (only 13 months between us) but he's always there if I need him and we text and see each other regularly. I have one DD 11 and one DS 7 and they are fantastic together, barely a cross word and get on so well. I know that will possibly change as she approaches her teenage years but the last 7 have been a joy. So glad I got to have one of each!

GinBlossom94 · 09/03/2023 19:48

My DB is 3 years older than me and we get on great, always have. We speak most weeks and meet up regularly. He also married my best friend which helps

eloquent · 09/03/2023 20:02

I have 3 younger brothers. Closest to the elder twins. We spend lots of time together, go on holiday, spend Christmas together. They are my best friends. Genuinely don't know what I would do without them!

1984Winston · 09/03/2023 20:06

I have 2 brothers, one I was close to as a child and the other I hated. I'm now really close to the one I hated, we live on adjoining streets and speak to him most days

TheCraicDealer · 09/03/2023 20:08

Thank you for this thread, I’m in the same boat and am expecting a DS after having DD three years ago. I had recurrent mc in between and so I felt really bad at the mild disappointment I felt when I found out this baby is a boy. Not because he’s a boy, but our family has a pattern of v close sib-sets of the same sex including me and my DSis, DDad and Uncle, etc. All these posters are reminding my logical side that it’s way more about personality and us modelling good family relationships than it is about them being the same sex.

Rollinghill · 09/03/2023 20:09

I adore my brother. We fought (normal sibling stuff) until I left to go to uni then we missed each other!

jaychops · 09/03/2023 20:16

I was an only child until age 9 when my sister was born. Before this, I was brought up very closely with my 3 male cousins who are all around a similar age to me.

DS and I aren't very close now, not just due to the age gap but also different personalities. My cousins are all like my brothers and I'm still very close to them!

So on the contrary in my experience!

Bechey · 09/03/2023 20:22

Me and my brother are best mates, I have a family and he is single. We go out on nights out when I can or he will come and keep me company when my husband works away and help with the kids. We see each other at least once a week and chat regular by telephone. He’s a treasure and he’s going to make someone the best husband one day.

AegonT · 09/03/2023 21:39

I get on far better with my brother than my sister. I have much more in common with him.

FortyFacedFuckers · 09/03/2023 21:47

I have a brother & a sister, I am so close to my brother & sister in law, see & speak to them every week, literally love them both to bits & would do anything for them, totally different with my sister, literally have nothing in common, not a thing we could agree on, don't speak at all unless we happen to meet each other in my mums or at a family gathering etc then it's a very awkward "hi how are you? Fine" that's it.

Moonicorn · 09/03/2023 22:02

TheCraicDealer · 09/03/2023 20:08

Thank you for this thread, I’m in the same boat and am expecting a DS after having DD three years ago. I had recurrent mc in between and so I felt really bad at the mild disappointment I felt when I found out this baby is a boy. Not because he’s a boy, but our family has a pattern of v close sib-sets of the same sex including me and my DSis, DDad and Uncle, etc. All these posters are reminding my logical side that it’s way more about personality and us modelling good family relationships than it is about them being the same sex.

Same! I have 3 sisters, 1 brother. Brother is fine, I’m just not as close to him as I am to my sisters. 35 weeks with a boy and was a bit disappointed when I found out - I really wanted that ‘close sister relationship’ for DD. However I’m over it now and seeing the benefits of one of each - I find with opposite sex siblings, they sort of ‘sand the rough edges off’ each other’s gendered behaviours, if that makes sense. The men I know with sisters tend to be a bit more respectful of women, whereas the women I know with brothers aren’t as intimidated by men.

BreviloquentBastard · 09/03/2023 22:09

I've got two brothers and they're my best friends honestly. One is two years older, one is a year younger.

Older brother lives two minutes away and is forever popping over for a brew, we walk our dogs together every day, go on holidays with him and my SIL, him and DH are very close and always getting into mischief together. I couldn't be without him, he's my rock.

Younger brother lives further away but we still make time to see eachother regularly, talk on the phone often, go on trips with him (he loves sports and outdoorsy things so we often do camping weekends full of adventures), he has no kids but absolutely dotes on my daughter, he's her favourite uncle.

My brothers are my favourite people, I love them to death.

Bluelightbaby · 09/03/2023 22:24

I have two younger brothers (they’re 40 & 38 and I’m 43) we’ve never ever had an argument, even as kids ! Wouldn’t have said we’re exceptionally close now as we have busy lives and live around a hour and a half away from each other, but we know we’re always there for each other.

my partner is close to his brother and they speak via phone regularly

tsmainsqueeze · 09/03/2023 22:34

Great thread , my brother is 2 years younger he is the best , we have been 'friends' since he was 16 , we chat on WhatsApp most days and see each other regularly.
He is a great uncle to my older kids and our sisters 6year old adores him .
He would do anything to help any one of us , i am very lucky to have him.

BadGranny · 09/03/2023 23:03

I don’t see my brothers very often, but when I do it’s absolutely wonderful. I get on well with both of their wives, and their children are delightful. We weren’t always best friends growing up, mainly because I was rather bossy, and there were the usual spats and rivalries. But we grew out of those, and I love them both dearly. We are always there for one another in terms of stress, and when my dad died a couple of years ago, we had no disagreements at all about arrangements, dealing with his estate, or clearing his house. They are both lovely people, and I would choose to spend time with them even if we weren’t related.