Struggling with huge baby and section scar

[GoogieGoggings]

Just looking for some support and to be talked off the ledge. Im a second time mum.

I understand and follow attachment parenting principles, holding baby and Co sleeping, breastfeeding etc. husband helps me get him to sleep in the night.

My 5 week old is huge - almost 14lbs and I have a flipping c section scar that won't heal and is infected.

I've tried the sling (which I planned to have him in all the time) but with his weight it just hurts my scar.

I think the sling is fine as I used it with my first born (also a big baby) but it's walking around with all that weight is hurting.

The infection is still there although im on day 5 of antibiotics. Baby sleeps well at night but I'm exhausted.

Today I just cried all day. My 6 year old was off school, my scar hurt, baby wants to be held all the time - I know this is normal. But im not coping.

First born I healed well from section and I know this one will be harder and slower as it's a second one but im starting to loose hope of things ever being ok.

I'm having friends do the school run but I'm sure soon they'll start to get fed up. I don't feel ready or able to do it. Every day I'm at home. Baby is starting to wake if I make noise! I've tried chatting to visitors and playing white noise but he's getting harder to stay asleep.

I just want my husband home with me all the time. But he has to work. I don't have a mum and my mother-in-law is useless.

Please tell me this will get better. My son was hard work until he was around 3. I'm an old mum too so I'm tired. I feel like I've made a mistake even though I love my baby so much. I feel like someone else should take over because I'm not coping.

People keep telling me I look great and we'll-rested but I'm struggling. I want to be out walking with the family, baby in sling, outside at the park. But every day and weekend I'm on the sofa, walking up and down the hallway. I feel trapped.

It will get better, you're going to be fine, hang in there. Remember to seek help though if things are becoming unmanageable

@TokyoSushi I'm under the perinatal team as I had depression in pregnancy. Father-in-law helps with hanging up washing etc and friends take my son out etc but I still can't cope.

It's still very soon after you had your baby. Of course you're exhausted, and the scar hasn't healed. I know this isn't helping you now - but it will get better in time. Don't underestimate how debilitating and exhausting it is to be constantly in pain. Hopefully the antibiotics will work soon and your scar will start healing. When you're not in pain you'll be able to get out with your baby. Is it worth speaking to your GP or Health Visitor? Sending you a hug.

@Sistanotcista I know, thank you. 5 weeks seems forever! I've spoken to HV who is going to visit more often to support me. Seeing doc tomorrow to check scar. I had a long hard pregnancy so this seems like a continuation I suppose. Hugs received gratefully 🥰

You're doing amazingly. I've had two babies over 10lbs with a section for each one. I found breastfeeding very difficult because you're holding a heavy weight over your scar. Everyone advised lying down but then my huge 'bump' was pulling on the incision site if I was on my side.

Sling tricky, because it put weight on the scar.
Basically used the pram as a zimmerframe and took it as easy as I could.
I am 15 weeks post section today and walked my baby and my four year old on a buggy board, on a 40 min walk to and from town this morning. There is no way I could have dreamt of that a few weeks ago.

I've also not got much help, don't have a mum either and found it hard because with a new baby I really wanted her around ! This won't last forever and in a few weeks things will look brighter - and you can be at the park and getting out etc. Just keep going.

For pram, get a carrycot pram insert made of sheepskin. It’s honestly the only thing that settled non put down Ds. So you could walk around house, garden or just slowly outside on street and see if he settles. Then he’s not weight on your stomach so much at the moment.

@Teafor1please omg we had the same experience! Mine were 11lbs and 10lbs and a section for each! Sorry to hear you also don't have a mum. 😞 any tips on what got you through? My baby hates the pram!! My car is also too small to fit it in! I thinking of trying the pushchair with insert soon?
When did yours feel a bit better? Xx

@Caspianberg I have sheepskin insert already. 😭😭 he gets a lot of wind and is sick after feeds so I'm wondering if that's why? On the plus side he loves tummy time! 🤣

Ahh Op it’s does get better. I had an awful recovery after my third section, several infections and a lot of pain and it was so hard at the time with baby and two others who were very young at the time. I promise that things do get easier and better.

Try the sheepskin in baby bouncer? You can bounce gentle with foot instead of constant holding and it’s more upright that carrycot.

our midwife also suggested raising carrycot mattress head by adding small
tea towel or small hand towel folded underneath.

If it’s any help, if I had a friend with a newborn I’d be more than happy to help in any way I could. It sounds like what you lack on family support is being made up by thoughtful friends. By the time your baby is out of the newborn phase you’ll feel so much better and won’t need the help so much. Don’t feel bad about accepting help until you are better healed.

What antibiotics have they got you on? I'd expect by day 5 you would be feeling a bit better. Have you got a high temperature at all or is the infection localised to the wound?
I was readmitted for iv antibiotics for two weeks for my infected c section. It might be the antibiotics are not working. If you're concerned I revisit the hospital to maternity triage if possible.

I'm sorry that you're struggling. I can sympathise. My little one is 18 weeks now and was born early at 34 weeks weighing 9lb9! Due to complications I was also carrying 3ltrs of water so my body went through a lot. I also had a section that got infected but not until week 10 when I thought it had fully healed.
Try to take it as easy as you can. I know that's hard when you have little ones needing you. I would stay away from the sling for now whilst your healing.
Have they taken a swab of your wound to make sure you're on the correct antibiotics? I had 2 different courses as the first didn't work.
It will get easier, just hang on in there and don't hesitate to ask for help from gp/hv if you need it.

@Inthesky42 yikes! I don't feel unwell. The infection isn't worse and the redness has gone a bit but it's not gone. It still smells a bit and there's still a teeny bit of yellow stuff (sorry tmi). I really think I need more and I wish they'd swabbed me to work out the best one to take. Maternity triage said I'd only be waiting to see a doctor anyway and it might be a very long wait. Maybe the gp can best advise? I'm going to see a different one though as the one I saw before seemed a bit blasé.

@Inthesky42 I'm on the ones starting with flux

It sounds like it's improving so that's good, yes may be worth a visit to the GP to check it

I'm also using the push chair with insert now because he hates the pram. He hates the car seat. He's a grumbly little soul!
He was a really sicky baby up until maybe two weeks ago, so there was a lot of projectile vomiting and fortunately that has rectified itself somewhat.
After about 8 weeks I could get him in the sling for short periods and manage it well, so we did that a little bit for short potters out. I relied on friends to drive me places and pick up the car seat etc and then after a while it slots into place.

I also had an infection at 4 weeks and found that tricky. I've found keeping it very dry with medicated talc does help. Obviously after the infection had cleared etc.