Need some advice about grandparent’s sharing photos

[RiversD]

So a bit of background on the situation. My son’s Dad is not really involved. The relationship was quite toxic towards the end and he’s only seen his son 4 times between birth (which he wasn’t there for) and 6 weeks old. DS is now 7 months old. For the past couple of months his parents have wanted pictures as they are not prepared to see DS without their son’s (DS dad) consenting as well as him seeing DS regularly. When problems arose in the relationship between me and DS dad his parents were less than supportive and more or less told me that he was like that and why have a child with him if he acts the way he does. Along side this his mother made some horrible comments about a miscarriage we experienced before DS. I acknowledge that I have held this against them and have been very sharp tongued to them in the past.

My current situation- DS dad has not had contact for over 5 months, but I’ve had superficial contact with his parents who asked for pictures of him I made it clear that I did not want those photos shared (his mom over shares and shared photos of my scan with her friend’s with the excuse that ‘they were at the house’ even when I asked to keep it private due to having a previous late miscarriage months prior). He recently got in contact and wanted to see DS I asked if he’d seen pictures of him he told me hasn’t , I apologised to him and told him that I had asked his parents to keep them private and didn’t expect them to respect that.
Apparently he has fallen out with them saying he’s hurt. His parents say it’s all my fault and will subsequently share previous and any new photos with whoever they like.
Any views or advice on the situation? (Sorry for the word vomit)

So he's angry that his parents didn't show him the pictures you had sent them and has fallen out with them and they've now fallen out with you? Just stop sending pictures.

They are all in the wrong. It very much sounds like his choice for having had no part in his son's life for the last 5 months. If he'd have wanted to see him or have photos, I presume you would have allowed this? If so, he has no right to be mad at his parents for not sharing them with him. He's a grown adult who has shown little interest in his own son.

As for the parents, sounds like they've done a fantastic job raising their son and holding him accountable....if that's their reaction I would politely advise them that if they can't respect your wishes then you will no longer be sharing photos of your son.

That’s pretty much it. He won’t let any of his family see our son until he gives permission and everyone seems to be going along with it.
He is still talking to me. His parents are too but saying that any effort to move on has been undone by me telling DS dad about the pictures. (That and telling them that CMS have been trying to reach him and are starting further action, they asked me to ask them to cease action which I declined as I had already chased things up and felt I’d done more than enough by asking DS dad to contact CMS and was only calling to see if they could get hold of him.)

I stopped contact a few months ago as he was verbally and emotionally abusive (like he had been during the end of our relationship) in front of our son. Since then I had reached out and even booked mediation which he declined as they told him they couldn’t force me to drop out 3 months off at his and leave them too it.

I had advised his parents this which they accused me of playing games. His mom effed and blinded at me down the phone.

I'm sorry, it sounds like a difficult situation but one ultimately you don't need to be in for you or your son. If it were me, I would advise that mediation is the only route you will go down with your son's dad. It's not just about what he wants, it's for the best interests of the child.

Is he financially contributing?

We’ve done mediation once and he refused to agree to anything and would not do another session.
He hasn’t paid anything, child maintenance is owning from the birth of DS. That’s why they are progressing it now.