To now fully love my DC at 3 years old...

[specialkallday]

My son was a very high needs baby. Very whiny and fussy, he was a late developer, frustrated and difficult to please.

Now he's 3 he's absolutely wonderful. He's caring and thoughtful, intelligent, inquisitive, hilariously funny and absolutely beautiful. I have absolutely fallen in love with him and I love his company now. But it's made me feel awful for not feeling this way before now!!!

I loved the bones off him before this, obviously, I would've taken a bullet for him, but I didn't feel this huge love like I now do...

Is this an awful thing to admit? Has anyone else felt this way?

Oh that's lovely OP! I suddenly realised the same about my first DC when he was around the same age. With DD the feeling came on much sooner.

Absolutely. The first few years I think I just felt so overwhelmed and tired and was constantly second guessing what I was doing. By the time by DD was able to communicate what she wanted it seemed to all come together

It's absolutely fine to feel this way. Of course you love them unconditionally but everyone has their own journey and it's fine your bond got stronger at this age. I was the same with my similarly high needs DC. It was absolutely relentless up until around 2.5 and we didn't have the easiest of starts. But now it feels more manageable and lovely, despite the difficult days. Enjoy your DC, you're doing good

I currently have a high needs 10 month old. As you say ‘Very whiny and fussy, frustrated and difficult to please.’ Describes him perfectly! He doesn’t sleep well, won’t go in the car or pram without fussing, and basically makes a low level whingey sound constantly throughout the day.

I get sad sometimes I can’t enjoy him like I thought I would. So your post has given me hope that one day I will!

Dont feel guilty for how you felt. High needs baby’s are TOUGH! It’s so lovely that you are now through the other side.

100% get this. My DS was a completely miserable, frustrated, high needs baby and maternity leave nearly finished me off. Early talker but very late with gross and fine motor skills. He turned a corner at around 15-18 months and has been progressively more delightful since. I have always loved him, but I absolutely adore his company and parenting him now at age 3, where as every minute was a slog when he was a baby. He’s been a wee bit off the last few days - nursery illness, tired and generally a bit grumpy. He’s still a million times easier than at 9 months old!

My eldest was a horrendous baby. Cried all the time. Could not be put down. I was utterly miserable at home with him. It was about 3 we turned the corner. He's now 11 and he is honestly a wonderful child. Literally never any issues in school and such a nice, fun, boy. No one believes me when I say he was horrendous as a baby.

I think love doesn't get much fuller for anyone who would take a bullet for someone else. Love like that is unconditional.

You are maybe now "liking" him too. Doesn't sound as dramatic as loving, but there are very intertwined, you can love someone and dislike things they do at the same time! Lots of people don't like the baby/toddler phase and prefer when they can communicate and show their personalities better so don't feel bad you didn't love him enough.

Enjoy those years now until he becomes a teen 😂you'll still love him just as much but "liking" can become challenging!

I have loved both of my babies from when they were born... but I didn't really enjoy either of them until they were about 2 (and even then it's a bit patchy!) - some babies are difficult, and some people (me) aren't brilliant with babies.

I do feel bad that I was just wishing the time away rather than enjoying and appreciating it. Plus I can hardly remember it because I was so tired and it was all so monotonous. Still, they're fantastic, if challenging, now at 3 & 5 and getting better every day.

Thanks all for not giving me a grilling, sometimes you don't know with mumsnet ☺️
I think that's true about me now "liking" him, I think maybe it's that I now have a best friend in him. But I do feel I love him more now too, I just know it's a new type of love.

Glad to know others have felt the same and I'm glad it can give hope to those struggling with early-toddlerdom!

And yes, I'm totally not that good with babies.

I can't do the whole talking to someone that's looking into space and getting any enjoyment out of it 😂

I was just thinking that yesterday about my 3yo DS. He was actually a pretty easy baby but now I love him more because he is more himself rather that just a generic baby, if that makes sense.
I love his little character.

Totally! Took me ages and love continues to grow. Also have a newborn, and feelings for him are nothing compared to my eldest- but I know they'll come!

I felt the same, loved him unconditionally from the minute I knew he existed, would do absolutely anything in the world for him, but that infatuating obsessive love people told me about grew over time. He’s almost 3 and I’d actually say he’s my best friend, I just love his company so much. He was a colicky angry sleep-hating newborn born in the first lockdown so it was a bit of a rough ride for me as a first time mum, so I sort of understand why it didn’t happen immediately. I totally think it’s normal!

Yes! I had this too with my eldest! He’s 8 now, and is just a really wonderful child! I can barely believe he’s the same child!

I also credit him with making me fall instantly in love with my other children immediately, as I knew/know that I will love them so strongly later, so I can start sooner!

I got to 2.5/3 and realised “ohhhh so THIS is why people have more than one kid! They’re actually fun!!” So had another baby 😂