How were toddlers handled in the past?

[Potplant19]

We're on holiday at the moment with a 4 month old baby and just turned 3 year old, at a Centre Parcs type place. It's full on but lovely, and we're handling the needs of both by tag teaming on the whole.

It's made me think how hard this would be as a single parent - taking them both to the swimming pool, keeping them both safe as a minimum. I've also thought of my mum, who took the three of us (aged 2, 4 and 6) and was a single parent and newly widowed on holiday every year without fail, including the summer my Dad died. How on earth did she do it? Clearly much stronger parenting skills than me, but what else? We weren't total angels, and must have had tantrums etc. If I ask her she just says "oh you were always very well behaved." What am I missing?!

I have always tried to teach my toddler good manners and to behave when out of the house. I am not a lazy parent at all but they are still very full on where as I can remember myself being a chilled, well behaved child at all times. I have come to the conclusion that some children are just more easy going than others.

I think there is a lot of over-anxious “helicopter” style parenting nowadays and parents putting unnecessary added pressure/expectations on themselves and their dcs. The children pick up on this too and act up.

People were maybe generally more relaxed in the past - if you were all still alive and happy at the end of the day that was enough.

I suspect standards were also more lax.

Ages three (!) I was in a pool on my own, and my (usually sensible) DM had to dove in fully clothed to rescue me when I took my armbands off. They we’re having no a drink on the side, because that was OK in the 80s.

This was late 80s early 90s. I don't think you'd even be allowed to take the three young children swimming solo now.

I do wonder if it's partly because it's all just a bit more full on these days. I remember having a soft play party when I was six, but that was it, soft play definitely wasn't a regular occurrence whereas now it's common place. It's hard to strike a balance - I know our three year old does have genuinely 'big feelings' but is that because she's a toddler or because life's just too busy I wonder.

I often wonder about this too. The soft play thing is true for me too - it was definitely not a regular thing in my childhood. Given that toddlers find everyday things like water and sand fascinating, I wonder whether all the other extra activities are more about alleviating parental guilt around thinking that children not being productive and doing things will end up being vegetables