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Colic/ high needs baby & naps - help!

7 replies

Newbornmamma · 07/03/2023 09:05

Sorry for the long post, but I’m going to try and explain everything.

My DS had bacterial meningitis/ sepsis at birth and was on strong IV antibiotics and had a 8 day SCBU stay. From night one he screamed the place down every waking moment. He had lots of difficulties feeding and got really messed around with tube feeds/ cup feeds/ bottle feeds and BF (I wanted to exclusively breastfeed but there were issues with latch). I now exclusively BF.

DS is now 9 weeks. He still is incredibly fractious and cries a lot during the day, more so in the early evening/ evening. He does however sleep very well 10-7/8 (we co sleep).

my issue is his day time naps and actually getting him to sleep in the evenings. He absolutely will not sleep anywhere other than in the carrier. You just can’t put him down even when he’s in the deepest of sleeps. It also takes a variable amount of time to get him to sleep, 20 mins onwards. Issue is whilst trying to get him to sleep he gets himself so worked up that it’s obviously counter productive. I watch his wake windows, have tried dummy (absolute rejects/ gags), feeding to sleep (only works at night), white noise, swaddling (hates it), bouncing rocking swaying sushing. He hates the car seat and screams blue murder, hates his pram and won’t sleep in that either.

I just feel like I can’t leave the house because of this and that he will never learn good sleeping habits. Is there anyone else who had similar experiences and who’s baby ended up napping well/ independently eventually??

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BabyB2022 · 07/03/2023 15:24

Hi OP, the difficulties with naps sounds like you could've been describing my eldest daughter. She was a nightmare and I used to find naps so stressful. The carrier was the best way to go for her, or I just spent a lot of time in a dark room with her napping on me! I do wonder now whether she was under tired sometimes, she's on the lower end of sleep needs, but at the time I didn't realise that.
9 weeks is still very young, it will get better and personally I'd just do what you need to do for now.
Naps started to get easier as my daughter got older and from around 6 months has napped well in her cot, by 7 months she was napping a couple of hours in her cot and she still is a great sleeper at 2.5yr now. She has never been great for naps on the go and needs to snoozeshade to nap in the pram, but I can't complain as she's so good most of the time so I have always just accepted naps on the go won't be as good.
I know it seems a way off, but I wish I hadn't stressed so much about those early naps!
I've just had my second and am trying to just go with the flow a bit more this time! I hope it gets better for you soon 🤞.

LapinR0se · 07/03/2023 15:33

How is his weight gain?

Newbornmamma · 07/03/2023 19:15

@LapinR0se he was born on the 97th centile but is now between the 50th-70th centile and has continued nicely along this trajectory for a while

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Newbornmamma · 07/03/2023 19:17

@BabyB2022 thank you! I think as a FTM I just need reassurance that it will get better and I won’t need to carry him everywhere forever. He’s a fairly big baby so my back is feeling it!

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SleepyMama098 · 08/03/2023 13:09

You could be describing my son. Very high needs since birth. He also hates his pram, even when he’s awake. He was also impossible to transfer so I had to cosleep, despite never planning to. However, when he got to 6 months we could start transferring him at night time. I did nothing different, he just started accepting it. Naps a different story though. He’s now 8 months and still only naps in the sling despite various attempts at getting him to nap in his cot. He now sleeps in a cot in his own room at night though, after only ever cosleeping from birth. I’m just trying to go with it but high needs babies are so so hard so I’m sending hugs and solidarity. You’re doing great Mama!

Newbornmamma · 09/03/2023 06:57

@SleepyMama098 that gives me hope then that he will sleep in his cot eventually. I like co sleeping right now, but it’s definitely not practical forever. Also wow 8 months still napping in the sling - your poor back! Mine is suffering already

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SleepyMama098 · 09/03/2023 16:02

@Newbornmamma Yeah my back isn’t great but I think it’s also used to it now! 😆 I’m going to attempt cot naps again soon though, once we’re done with the current sleep regression!

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