Any advice to reassure my husband

[Littlelighthouse]

Our DD is 7 months in 2 days. She is our rainbow baby, and the first baby to come home.
Today we were at a baby group and it was one of the few that my husband has made it to because of work. There were babies there ranging from 3 months to seven months, it was only a very small group of 6.

When we left, my husband seemed a bit upset and concerned about our daughter compared to the other babies. For example, one little girl at 5 months was rolling around. Our DD used to roll in her cot but has stopped the past few weeks. So we know she can do it but she won't anymore for whatever reason. Another mum was holding up her 7 month old to support standing.

DH isn't normally the type to become anxious about this sort of thing, so I'm not sure if it's because he's not really around babies other than our daughter. I tried to reassure him that DD is sitting unaided, she can grab things and pass between hands and is still learning every day.

Does anyone have any words of reassurance for my DH? It's quite upsetting seeing him become so anxious and worried as this isn't like him. I think because our first baby passed away at 34 weeks of pregnancy, he's worried about something 'happening' or 'going wrong' with our rainbow.

Thank you 💖

Sending hugs OP. If you can, reassure your DH that this is totally normal - babies all develop at their own pace and I think 6-18 months shows this the most compared to any other stage. In my group of friends where our 4 babies were all born within 12 days of each other, there was a 5 month gap between the first and last one to walk. With crawling, 2 of them were crawling by 7/8 months but the other 2 it came much later. On the flip side, the early walkers/crawlers took much longer to get to grips with eating/weaning, so it’s never a case of being advanced - they all seem to have their little skills they’re best at. I would say I’ve also noticed that sometimes my DS would “forget” a skill when he preparing to do another. Rolling was a classic with this - he forgot how to roll onto one side and then shortly after he started to army crawl. Sending love to you and your DH, it sounds like you’ve had quite a journey and the anxiety is so justified but your little girl sounds wonderful.

@Moon12345 thank you for such lovely reply. I've read your message to DH. I thought I would be the parent worrying about milestones, I'm so shocked that it's him. Sometimes I think you need to hear it from other experiences too, so thank you 😊

So sorry for your loss, no wonder you’re anxious. Your DD sounds perfect, my DD at the same age was very similar by the sounds of it, rolled once or twice and then she’d apparently proved her point and barely bothered. Never crawled or showed any interest in trying. But then pulled up on the coffee table and walked across the room at only 9 months. Pretty much came out of nowhere. Her younger brother rolled at 7 weeks so super early, was crawling at 7 months but didn’t walk until a distinctly average 12 months. They’re all different and after 6 months you’ll notice that there’s a very wide range of ‘normal’ development. In a year from now it’s almost certain that your toddler (!) will be walking and you’ll be asking yourself the same about their speech, where again there’s a huge range of normal.

@FlounderingFruitcake thank you 😊

It's natural to worry about your children but do reassure him that children develop at different times.

Along with this, in my experience they can only "concentrate" on one thing - so if they're growing physically, their cognitive development takes a back step, then before you know it growth stops and then boom, she'll conquer a new milestone. Then, while her brain knots together something new, she'll seemingly forget something you've seen her do previously. It's just the body's way of mastering new things.

If you haven't already, have a look at the wonder weeks app as that gives a really good sequence of her development.

@Milkand2sugarsplease thank you so much 😊