Forgive me, this is likely to be long...
My 10 year old daughter has always been a sensitive little girl, prone to worry. I'm quite similar so I've tried very hard to manage this and give her the tools it's taken me a lifetime to accumulate to help her manage it. But since Christmas (started a little bit before), she has decided that she is rubbish at everything, has no friends and hates her school. She is mis.er.ab.le.
She is not being bullied, has lovely friends albeit not a BEST friend and her school is lovely. I've spoken to her teacher (she really likes him) and he has said that there is no sign of any of this at school. There is a TA in the class who is very strict and gives the kids a really hard time and this stresses my daughter out no end but when I asked if my little one was causing problems, he kind of scoffed and said "I genuinely can't think of a time where we've had to tell her off", so it appears to me that it is this woman's volume and interactions with the class that are bringing my daughter down.
There is also a little girl in the class who is doing my daughter's head in. She's almost a year younger and immature (I realise I'm speaking about 9 and 10yr olds here). Not particularly popular but is inclined to latch on to my daughter who can't stand her but then will also do things like try and pair up with one of my daughter's good friends at external clubs leaving her as the odd one out and then dance around pulling faces and making fun of her behind her back. There are two problems with this. 1. her mother is a very good friend and rightfully thinks the sun, moon and stars shine out of her daughter, but is completely blind to any of her faults. 2. She seems to have taken up rent-free, permanent residence in my daughter's head. She constantly goes on about her, gets really angry with her, and last night I had to take down a sign saying "So-and-So Dartboard" from my daughter's room. She seems to get obsessed with kids who upset her and can't let go. This happened before Christmas with another kid and in the end I spoke to her mum about it. It turned out there had been some clashes but when we discussed them, it turned out that this little one had been giving half accounts of these clashes making herself out to be angelic and wronged and after she was then pulled up on bullying another kid in school, I think she had a bit of a reckoning over the Christmas holidays and has returned to school a far different child. The point is though that my daughter nearly makes herself sick over thinking about these interactions obsessively.
She is crying nearly every day. Stomping around at home. Pains in her tummy. On a complete downer. I took her to our GP who was lovely and reassured her that any physical pains were likely from anxiety and recommended some therapy. We started that last week and so far my daughter really likes the therapist. The problem is that all of this is exhausting. I have a job and am doing a university course and I am doing all the tears mopping up and situation defusing and in-between-therapy therapy (hubby works ridiculously long hours). All of these mood swings and the sadness are taking a real toll on her younger sibling and my mental health is also suffering. Seeing her so sad is just so desperately heartbreaking and feeling useless and not knowing how to help her. I'm just really lost. I'm not sure even if any of this makes any sense.