For context I grew up in an abusive household and I’m NC with family after years of counselling.
I always swore that I only wanted a quiet and happy life. I cope well in calm and happy environments as stressful arguing makes me ill
Im not diagnosed with anything other than PTSD. I’m on a mild antidepressants whilst going through 2 years of intensive counselling.
DC 1 - Very bright and academic and in school straight level 9, straight A grades etc and the best pupil ever. She is 16. She is autistic.
DC 2 - very bright but finds work much harder. Autistic but not in same way - finds things funny, enjoys messing about. 9 years old.
they go to different schools. But from the minute we get home they verbally argue, argue, argue unless I feel like I’m about to snap and often go into my bedroom to cry or I scream at them to stop.
reminding them to speak nicely does fuck all.
they have everything they want plenty of separate activities etc and loads of attention. They have no devices and plenty of board games and exercise.
literally todays argument was
- The sky is grey
- no it isn’t it is cloudy
no it isn’t it’s grey
no you don’t know basic geography
no you don’t understand it’s grey and overcast
and on and on it bloody goes - just literally winding each other up and my teeth are grinding
no amount of stop it or time out works each one wants the last word
they could argue about curry or Chinese takeaway all night
my only way at the moment is them both in their rooms
1 on 1 they are fab
but they are making my life shit
Occasionally they will stop or escalate into physical but literally it is non stop - neither gives way
I have told them how bloody stressed it makes me - there is 7 years between them. They used to love each other and were best friends and they hate each other now - always trying to get the other one into trouble.
father no involved and no other family involved. Eldest doesn’t do it with anyone else just her sibling.
im having a bad day literally got home at 4.30 and even talking to eldest on mobile they were arguing whilst waiting to be picked up. Argued about something different on the way home and started again as soon as they got in. 45 minutes non stop. This is despite me trying to ask them individual questions - eventually I had such a headache and I was stressed they have both gone in their rooms.
be gentle - my nerves are frazzled to oblivion
I just want them to stop
I grew up with my parents arguing constantly and physical violence. The arguing is making me ill.