Another sleep deprivation post

[Tiredmum31111]

I think this is half to vent and a plea for advice.
My 6 month old has never been a good sleeper, but at the moment she's partially bad.

We moved her into her own room a couple of weeks ago and initially she slept better.
Now she's up every 45mins-1 hour (after an initial 3h stretch) the only thing that will get her back off is if I feed her to sleep (breast fed) I've tried rocking she just goes mental!
She puts herself to sleep (after an initial cry) at bedtime but naps are all contact naps mainly rocked to sleep.

I feel like it's all my fault for these sleep associations but feel stuck on how to get out of them 😢

This was exactly like my (now 2.5yrs) DD. She was waking hourly at 6 months and would only settle with breastfeeding or bouncing for a long time.

firstly, DO NOT feel bad for these sleep associations. There’s a reason babies fall asleep on the boob and it’s completely natural and really useful when they’re small. However, when it stops working for you, it’s fine to make changes. I would strongly suggest might weaning (as long as she’s healthy weight etc). This is what I did and it made an incredible difference. There are different methods that you can use so have a think about what you’re comfortable with.

Following as my 5.5month old is just like this. Sending solidarity, it is truly awful! Would it help to move her back with you, at least then you can just lift her out th4 cot at wakening? We co sleep, would you consider that?

@Alitlebitsleepy can you nightwear at 6months, I thought that's too early but I may very well be wrong!

@MooMa83 you may be right. I think advice is a bit mixed so maybe discuss with HV first. Thinking about it, I started the process of night weaning at 8 months where I cut out every other feed and gradually reduced from there. Stopping the feeding to sleep association is the key but I know it can be hard OP

At 6 months I would just leave her and see how she gets on. I suspect after a couple of nights she'll be sleeping through. Esp. If she can nod off to begin with.

Honestly - i'd just co sleep. 9 children here and co slept with all of them once they stopped sleeping happily in a cot - around 8 months for most of them. All of them breastfed and all of them chose when to leave (usually around 3/4yrs). By that age they'd happily take themselves to bed if tired and get up when not. Never had problems with bedtimes as there have never been associations with being left or being unhappy in their own beds. western culture has very funny ideas about sleep and young children. Also, as a Mum of 9 i can honestly say that this period goes very quickly. Do what gets you the most sleep, most easily has been the way i've dealt with it. They grow up very quickly! Enjoy it 😃

We did the 'pause' method albeit earlier than this. So you pause for a few seconds when they start to stir before feeding. Half the time ours settled back into sleep so she learnt how to connect sleep cycles herself, the rest of the time hunger cues would emerge and then we'd feed.

It sounds like she's rousing at the end of each sleep cycle and then needs to feed to get back to sleep so if you can get rid of that association it'll help? I tried to do at least one 'sleepy but awake' put down per day. Did feed to sleep for some feeds but never all of them.

Thank you everyone for taking time to reply!
And thanks for making me feel less alone and failing!
I don't even mind feeding during the night but once or twice rather than maybe eight at the moment! I'm sure night weaning would help but if I pick her up she will literally head but and wiggle to get a boob so not sure how I'd stop that!
I do usually bring her in to bed about 4-5 o'clock when I've lost the will to sit in her room.
She's not that happy to just lay with me, she literally wants to be laid on me so I don't know how successful co sleeping all night would be.
I might be pushed to give it more of a try if she keeps the hour wake ups up though.
I'd just love to keep her in her room and even 2 hourly wakes would be a dream at the moment.
Thanks for all the advice and support, keep plodding 😴 xx

At 6 months both mine went through a month or so of waking LOADS. Feeding to sleep worked so I just went with it. I was on leave so could nap in the day with them if I needed.

For both of them, teeth were involved and calpol helped. I was 'lucky' in that they both only got nappy rash when teething so I had other clues it was time for the calpol.

It did settle again and I night weaned at 8/9 months using controlled crying.

I think this is just one of those baby things. Co sleep if you feel comfortable to do that and it helps.

This is a phase, it's nothing you've done or not done, you're not wrong. You've not made a 'rod for your own back' or got the wrong sleep associations etc.

You are not alone, this is me right now with DC2 (8mo) and there are so many of us out there, I’m personally finding people don’t share sleep struggles enough in real life. Would make it feel less lonely.

I’m currently sat holding dc2, after spending 2 hours trying to get her to sleep. Not even in her own cot, but next to me! And she still has writhed around until I’ve picked her up. My dd is just like yours we get an initial long stretch, contact naps (hideously hard to manage at the moment as I have a 2 year old too) and then if she’s put down and not held, waking hourly. I’m about have an intro session with a sleep consultant as becoming desperate and low. Will update on how it goes.

DC1 was also appalling sleeper as a baby, but it did pass eventually and he generally sleeps through. So do try to remember, it will pass. It’s just so relentless when you are desperate for sleep but you will get through this. Can we also just acknowledge what a pain the breastfeeding and caffeine restriction is when you’ve been up with a sleep fighter all night. One of the things that works well for us is for DH to do resettling and late evening bottle so if I go to bed at 7-8 with the dcs can generally get a 4/5 hour stretch which helps resilience a bit for through the night. Not sure if that’s an option. Sending hugs xxx

@Icantgetnosleep1 definitely let me know how you get on with the sleep consultant it's something I keep toying with.
Last night I'm not sure if teeth were part of the problem, it took me 5 attempts at getting her down when she woke at 23.00 but did eventually after some teething gel go to sleep (for 1.5 hours) not sure if it was that or she'd just knackered herself out.
So up 7 or 8 times and in with us from 05.45 😆 feeling fresh today ha
She's my third I should be used to sleep hell by now but I'm just not it's even harder when I've got to be up and getting them ready about 7 ish. It's not like either of them were good sleepers just feels really hard this time. One day they'll all be teenagers and sleep alllll day, can't wait ha.

@Tiredmum31111 oh bless you, that’s so intense. IMO it makes it even harder to cope when you have other dc cos as you say you have to keep up with the usual routine. I also feel like tolerance dwindles the more challenging sleep we experience. I will definitely let you know how it goes with sleep consultant. I just want to be able to think straight and enjoy the day times again instead of feeling like I’m trying to power through it if that makes sense

@Icantgetnosleep1 how's things gone with the sleep consultant? X