Think newborn DD’s wake windows are too long?

[bells2810]

I have a wonderful 10 day old DD, I have been trying to follow advice about wake windows and not letting her get overtired so that she will get good quality sleep throughout the day and night. Through the day she will generally fall asleep very quickly after a feed, at night though she will stay awake for a really long time after feeding.

I’ve seen advice saying that a newborn’s wake window should be between 30 mins to an hour, during the daytime this is pretty much the case. We will change her, feed her, do a little bit of “playtime” where we might pop her on her tummy for 5 minutes or read her a story or play music for her, by this point her eyes will be closing and she will nod off happily. We’re feeding her every 3 hours or so during the day, she’s back up to her birth weight now so have been advised by the MW that we can let her sleep through the night and feed her when she wakes (rather than us waking her to feed).

When she does wake to feed at night, we will do the usual - nappy change, feed, then hold her for a bit but try to keep noise to a minimum and keep the room dim etc. But she will stay wide awake for sometimes up to two or three hours after this! I can see that she’s tired, she’ll yawn and give off lots of other sleep cues, then her eyes might shut and we put her down and then she’ll wake up fussing and shaking her arms and legs around. I’ve looked into over-tiredness in newborns and I think she is overtired at night, but I don’t want to stop her sleeping during the day. I’m just a bit concerned why she’s staying up for so long when we try not to stimulate her, she’s been fed, changed, winded - it seems like something is bothering her and I think being awake for so long can’t help.

Mine were awake several times in the night until they were about two and a half years old. You are doing nothing wrong. Some babies are good sleepers and some aren't. Just don't worry so much!

She's 10 days old! She won't have any sort of routine for a very long time, even then it'll change regularly and without warning! Try not to worry too much, I know it is hard but 10 day olds know nothing except warmth and snuggles so when they get put down in (what is to them) a big cold open space like their cot, their instinct is to shout for help! My baby slept on me for nearly all sleeps until he was 6 months!

It's pretty common for newborns to have night and day reversed! Let her sleep, but be boring at night. Less communication, darker rooms, quiet in the house. In daytime be bright and sunny And chatty when she's awake. Over time she will adjust and "correct" her sleep

As per your other thread, you need to readjust your expectations- she's 10 days old!! You need to accept that it's basically entirely out of your control and and just commit to the crazy rollercoaster of newborns and their sleep.

Babies especially 10 day old ones do not read advice, they just get on with being a baby in their own way. Get to know your baby’s rhythms and work with them rather than worrying that they are not “ normal”, reversing day and night is quite common so you should try and sleep during the day when they sleep so that you have energy for the nigh time. One of mine was a nightmare baby hardly slept at all, in spite of seeing GP and HV and reading all the advice going. Eventually they moved into a new phase and slept fine.

Thank you for your replies everyone! I know DD has no idea whether it’s day or night, I was just a bit worried that she was getting overtired or that there might be something else making her upset/distressed and stopping her sleeping. I know it’s very early days so I will just have to see how we get on!

She's just ten days old, allow her to do what she needs to. All of this needless worrying will spoil this precious time. Newborns make the rules, you just follow along and it will all work itself out.

One of my favourite thoughts for what is going on with newborns is, before they are born daytime is when they are constantly rocked, night is when things get still. So coming up to birth a lot of them have a tendency to really wake up and get moving at night. And suddenly after birth we expect them to switch that around? ... So you've almost got a period equivalent to "jet-lag" to reverse their sleep/wake phases.

Try to just enjoy the time and sleep as much as you can.

There is no rhyme or reason until about age 3.

Honestly, chuck the books in the bin. Congrats on your lovely baby.