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Original poster

Should we get ds3 baptised?

11 replies

mummyhelen · 06/12/2004 21:01

We has dd and ds baptised as babies. The decision was largly made due to my mum being religious and saying it was not right that they should not be baptised and FIL who said that it they weren't baptised they wouldn't prosper!!!!!! To be perfectly honest I didn't feel that happy about it on either occasion. Felt a real hypocrite making all these promises in front of God. It's not that I don't believe or that I particularly believe. I just want the children to make up their own minds about what religious path they want to follow (if any). Also dh had to be virtually dragged down to the church on both occasions, he just thinks its a load of c**p! We had made up our minds that ds3 would not be baptised for these reasons. Now mum is saying that it is unfair to ds3 as he is the odd one out and what a shame it is. FIL is still banging on about poor little ds3 not prospering. dh says we should stick to our guns and it is no one elses business. I just want peace!!!!!!! Any advice appreciated.........

OP posts:

ChristmasCracker · 06/12/2004 21:03

TBH I am not religous at all and so didn't have any of my kids baptised but now i regret it and wish i had.

At the end of the day it is completely up to you and noone else, but in your poistion i would have him baptised.

MarsselectionboxLady · 06/12/2004 21:04

Do what you want to do. If you want a compromise then how about a thanksgiving service. There's a thread on it around here somewhere. Personally I ignore the outlaws when they make demands and try to make me feel guilty. What do you want to do? As long as you and DH stand together then all will be well!

jellyhead · 06/12/2004 21:07

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Jimjambells · 06/12/2004 21:54

Neither of mine are. Dh's grandfather spent the first year going on about it, but seems to have given up now and accepted he has heathen grandchildren. I think he's seen enough of ds1 to know that baptisping him now would be slightly out of the quesiton anyway! If you don't want to then don't!

AtHomeMum · 06/12/2004 22:01

none of ours are baptised - we don't believe so it seemed hypocritical.

I say stick to what you want.

bloss · 06/12/2004 22:21

Dh was never baptised although is elder sisters were. Never bothered him - especially as he lived in a totally secular household so church/religion had no significance for im generally.

I certainly don't think you should get it done, but let's face it: you will only get peace if you are firm about it to you ILs and look daggers at them if they try it on. Are you ready??!!

Original poster

mummyhelen · 07/12/2004 22:34

Thanks for all your replies. It's really nice just to get some fresh unbiased ideas on the matter. I think that we will just stand firm on this one together. Maybe if we had done that in the first place we wouldn't be in this position now!!! For now I just have to keep avoiding one of my neighbours (who attends the church where ds2 was baptised). She keeps dropping very heavy hints about how she knows we are very busy and that the weekend is the only time dh is home, but how much the children would love Sunday school. Maybe I should start a new thread on whether I should move house to avoid her!!!!!!! Seriously though, I will stick to my guns on this one as I really don't think I want to go through another baptism which I'm not really comitted to. Thanks for all your advice.

OP posts:

morningpaper · 07/12/2004 22:38

Just a thought, but YOU don't have to be committed to the baptism to have it done. You could always just tell your in-laws that they can have ds3 baptised if they want. It doesn't have to be a big service, you could just nip down to the church one morning or find a vicar who will do it at your house. It doesn't have to be YOU making the promises on his behalf - they can do it.

Just a thought.

p.s. It's always useful if it turns out that you need to apply to a church school... :)

joashiningstar · 07/12/2004 22:46

IMHO - Do what's best for you. Inlaws went on for years about not having our kids baptised, but like others here, I think that it would be hypocritical as someone who doesn't go to church. Having children baptised means standing and making all sorts of promises about bringing children up religiously, etc - can't see the point in doing this (as it would be effectively lying) for anyone who isn't religious.

joashiningstar · 07/12/2004 22:47

Always told my kids that they could choose/decide their own religions as they got older and that I would support them in their decisions.

bonymerryxmas · 08/12/2004 16:50

DD has not been baptised and it has never been an issue (she is 6) - we are not church goers and are closer to agnostic than anything although I grew up believing in God (CofE). Felt it would be hypocritical to get her baptised and would agree with joashiningstar's comments.

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