Dads Changing Nappies

[mumontheskoolrun]

Speaking to school Mums and other Mums of babies since having DC2, I'm surprised at the amount of Dads that won't change nappies or wipe bums!!

Anyone experience this or have heard of this?

I have a friend who has a 6 year old daughter and her husband ( who is the father ) had only changed her nappy about 4 times because he had to be cause she was on her hen weekend.

WTF???

Men not changing nappies are only that way because they have a woman doing it for them. Ladies, if your man won't change a nappy, I have two questions: Why aren't you making him do it? and why the fuck did you breed with such a useless prick in the first place? Genuine questions. It makes no sense to me.

My husband could very well have changed more nappies than me with our 3 kids and I was the sahm! He often took over nappy duties the minute he got home and I did other stuff. I'd breastfeed and he'd nappy change. I'd bathe and he'd do bedtime routine or vice versa.

Dh was a little nervous with dd, but soon got over it. It’s a baby who needs a clean bum ffs. Although neither of us liked teething poonami nappie 😂

My DH does them regularly, and we take turns to deal with pooey nappies.

My dad also does more than my mum when they have the kids at theirs.

Same on both counts. In fact, my mum refuses to change her grandchildren's nappies and always makes my dad do it.

Dh is fairly useless most of the time but he has changed as many nappies as me I'm sure. Dealing with older kids with diarrhea he's not so good at but he does that too.

How are you not full of rage that your child’s father puts his own delicate nostrils above the comfort and well being of his child?

My dad didn't change either of his children's nappies in the 1970s but loads of his grandchildren's in the 2000s.

Dh did at least his fair share without blinking but it never crossed my mind it being any other way.

I think my mum was pretty furious in retrospect how things had been set up in her day.

@Youraccountisnolongervalid a generation ago? I'm 60 and every guy I know changed nappies.
My stepsons now have babies and they certainly do their share too.

I’m not sure really @Regularsizedrudy . I’ve got an older DC from before we got together so I was used to doing everything and just carried on.

The relationship is pretty flawed by mumsnet standards to be honest.

My Dp is in his 60's and was a crap parent to dd who is 20 now. He might have been selfish in some ways but he would never have left a baby in a dirty nappy.

It's not about baby care. It's humanity. If you can't meet the needs of the most vulnerable what is the point of you??

There’s no excuse for it really. Even 40/50 years ago my dad happily changed nappies of myself and my siblings and they were old school terry nappies with pins.
I couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t be bothered to get involved in basic care for our child, DH changed the first nappies of all 3 of our dc and many more after that. I guess some women have very low expectations.

Because (and I know I’ll be jumped on for saying this), too many women let them get away with it.

I agree @maddiemookins16mum , I’ve absolutely let him get away with it, but I genuinely don’t have the mental strength to take responsibility for a grown man’s behaviour. It is super easy to make lists of things that some men do wrong, but it always seems to boil down to being the woman’s fault for allowing it. And yet society still says that a nagging wife is a bad one, or that trying go change a partner is wrong. You can’t win.

This is a really good point, sometimes you're so tired it's just not worth the hassle/ fall out/ sulking

My dad was in his 50s when we were born in the 70s.....changed our nappies.

In my own circles of men in their 40s, I've never heard of a man who won't/wouldn't change nappies.

Those men are pathetic individuals.
Our children are 25 and 30 and my husband always changed nappies from the start.
He never pretended not to notice if they were wet or smelly.
Some women have desperately low standards if they put up with this from their partners.

What actually amazes me is that must mean there are lots of women who just accept that from the fathers of their children. Daddy changes plenty of nappies here (we occasionally fight over who’s going to do an especially pungent one - usually daddy loses that fight!)

A friend of mine is childless but married to a man who has four daughters. When the daughters started having babies, my friend was told that she would be changing nappies when they babysat. The girls had to show her how to do it. She went along with it. I was astonished.

Both my mum and dad change nappies, i was a sahm for year so technically have changed more than dh I guess but when he was home he changed probably as many as me

If dh didn't I would have handed him the baby and gone out to be honest

Why would anyone have kids with useless fecks like this. Pathetic really

Oh, yes it’s the womens’ fault for not knowing before they get pregnant that their partner is going to refuse to change nappies a year in the future. They are soooo pathetic for not using their second sight to know the future.

@Onnabugeisha I meant the men are pathetic! But also yes some (some some some) people know exactly what the men are like and still go ahead!

I'm amazed this is still even a thing, it's not the 1950s ffs. It might not be pleasant but how can any father not want to provide the most basic level of care for his child?

I don’t think you need second sight to predict whether your partner is the kind of man who won’t change a nappy