Picking battles or undermining your partner?

[Ricketts]

Interested to hear views on this situation yesterday.

DW and I have a 2 year old DS. He’s started nursery two mornings a week. Every morning we give him milk and we’re trying to get him to drink from a cup rather than a bottle. He always drinks juice / water from a cup but he likes his milk from a bottle.

Yesterday we were running a bit late and when I offered him milk and I reached for the cup he screamed he wanted it from a bottle. My wife insisted on a cup and I poured milk in the cup. DS continued to scream for a bottle and after ten minutes, I decided to give in and pour it in a bottle.

DW comes in from putting her make up on and is furious for me undermining her. I thought in this case, I was picking my battles as he was so upset.

In this case, was I wrong to undermine my wife, or do you sometimes also pick your battles?

You undermined yourself

next time you will get screaming for 15 mins, you cant give in to ‘I want screaming’ with a 2 year old as you then encourage more screaming. Either hold firm or completely change the situation around (forget the drink and go to look for pink dogs in the garden- ridiculous I know but it can just flip the switch on a toddler)

@Thesearmsofmine they've already explained this, the son just likes milk

Stop making it about cup vs milk and make it about milk vs not milk

So if he wants milk it's in a cup and if he won't have that he doesn't get milk

If you start in a cup and go to a bottle when he cries then he knows the option of a bottle is still available

Yes so he can have milk in a cup at any time. He doesn’t need milk in a bottle.

Bed time milk should be at least 20 minutes before teeth brushing. You shouldn't go to bed with the sugars from milk clinging to your teeth. So why not an open cup? Most of us would have never had a no spill cup

We don’t insist on it, he just likes milk
Then he can drink it from a cup 🤷‍♀️
I wouldn't have given it in the bottle. He would have just missed out.

The best way to avoid the fight over bottles is to ditch the bottles. He doesn't need them and it's causing friction.
Next time he asks for milk in a bottle you just say that the bottles have gone now. Show him the cupboard where they used to be kept and say milk in cups from now on. There will probably be a few tears but he will get over it.
My top parenting tip is never to give in after a few minutes pestering. If you're going to change your mind, do it immediately. Otherwise you are training your child to understand that whining long enough gets what you want. You really don't want that.

Surprised here at the strength of opinion against bottles! Appreciate this is the advice but there is lots of advice people don't follow to the letter. Out of interest, if they are only having milk in a bottle eg before bed, and a cup the rest of the time, what is the harm in the bottle? I have sort of been waiting to just phase the bottle out naturally when she stops having milk before bed (we already do it pre teeth brushing) ie picking my battles!

But is it bed time milk if you give it so they finish at least 20 mins before? What is the purpose of the bottle? Some children would still be having it at 7 the same as still have dummies.
Most seem to brush teeth then bottle which is even worse though.

Just let him have a bottle. He won't still want it when he's 18! I agree -- pick your battles.

Throw the bottles away. Make a thing if it- maybe give a small toy from the 'bottle fairy' and let dc see them being left outside at night etc. we did similar with a dummy situation and it worked. Like a dummy a bottle at that age isn't good for teeth.