Things to teach

[ohthegrandolddukeofyork]

Been reading a thread about ‘could you get out of your house in a minute in a fire?’ and lots of posters commenting that they taught their kids different routes out the house since they were little.

Made me think that there are lots of things that need to be taught that I haven’t thought about until now like how we get out the house in a fire, what to do if she gets lost.

Have googled and can’t find a comprehensive list or parenting book that has all of these things so asking here instead… (don’t steal my book idea 😉)

So what things have you taught your kids that every parent should also teach their kids?

Looking for practical suggestions like teaching fire routes, when to call 999 etc. not suggestions of things that should be taught like manners or how to cook an egg etc.

Thanks!!

Secrets are not allowed!

Private parts are private

How to call 999

How to have physical boundaries and say no to unwanted touch etc

Who to approach if they're lost/alone in public
A parent's phone number
How to use road crossings
Never to swim in open water

My phone number

Our address

What to do if we are out and get separated

Stranger danger

Internet safety (bits and bobs, they are still quite young)

Stop means stop.

999 to ask for help or to ring someone through the alexa if unable to find the phone. Memorising our address.

No secrets.

My daughter is just 11, and we are starting to allow her more independence. We are constantly talking about "what would you do if....?" and I prompt her to think of her own solutions to problems.
If she pops to the local shop for example...
What would you do if you couldn't reach the item? What if you couldn't find it?
What would you do if the shop was closed?
What would you do if my credit card didn't work on the self serve tills?

It's just become part of our regular chats now, getting her to think her way out of various scenarios and offering suggestions.

No secrets? Can anyone explain more. I've never heard that.

I teach the kids I look after how to unlock my mobile phone and call 999, make sure they know their address and how to unlock the door to let emergency services in if necessary. My sister was on her own with her two young children when she had a severe and sudden hypo, she lost consciousness and her kids saved her life by knowing the above.

No secrets - in a situation where a child was being abused, the abuser may tell them to keep things a secret between the two of them, you want your child to know that keeping things secret from their parents is never OK.

Kind of depends on the age you are talking about, but generally,

• who to ask for help if they can't see you

(Also, giving them practice of speaking to people they don't know, from when they can speak. Let them know people will help them if they ask things)

• your phone number
• how to dial 999
• where to meet up / how to find you when lost (so we would always point out a landmark we sat in front of on the beach, or a "this is where we meet if get separated" if at a theme park or museum or something. When smaller, write your phone number on their forearm

Like @NotPennysBoat though, we did lots of "What would you do if...." scenarios from when they were quite little.... works well into teens and young adulthood.

You don't say how old your child is but

• their surname
• your first name
• your mobile phone number so they can ask someone to call you.
• their address (door number and street)
• when to call 999. explain that first question is ambulance/police/fire brigade so which service does what

If you have a medical condition then name of condition eg diabetic

It's taught in Safeguarding training that if a child says "me and Adult have a secret" it's a 🚩 for potential abuse

I'd look at it as the difference between good secrets eg. Molly is having a surprise birthday party on Saturday and we can't tell her about it. This secret feels exciting and fun and safe. Then a bad secret would make you feel worried, unsure and unsafe.

I'd say best thing to teach is how to listen to your gut instinct. Draw a gingerbread man out on paper and get your child to think about the last time they were a bit scared (could be a good scared like a scary movie or rollercoaster) then get them to draw what they felt on the gingerbread man. When they feel those feelings they need to tell an adult that they trust. Then get them to name 5 adults they trust. Parents have to count for 1 so 4 need to be other adults.

a safe word for any adult, known or otherwise, to get or take them eg while they're out, a family friend pulls up and says they've been told to give them a lift home

I really would not advocate the idea of good secrets and bad secrets. It is better to differentiate it as secrets (never allowed) surprises (sometimes allowed). There is no such thing as a good secret for children. I surprise is allowed because a surprise is always found out where as a secret is not.

I would second this. Expecting a young child to differentiate between good and bad secrets seems like a lot of responsibility, and many wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Also, following this thread for tips

Basic first aid from when she was tiny, like keeping cuts clean, how to use plasters, calling for help etc

More 'Intense' first aid now that she is getting older, like don't remove a knife or anything similar that is stuck in someone, remove clothes and pour water on acid burns, tell paramedics everything, especially what drugs a person has taken.

Suprises are okay, secrets are not and if someone tells her not to tell me something- that means she definitely has to and she will never get in trouble for telling me.

If it feels sketchy, it probably is. I will always come and collect you.

If someone phones asking for me and you are home alone- don't tell them I am out, tell them I am showering or on the toilet.

Also basic stuff like where our nearest defribrilator is, where the 24 hour places are, where our spare key is in its lock box, not to answer the door to strangers, how to use an epipen etc.