I am angry with my DH for letting our son (5 1/2) spend 2 hours outside in just a t-shirt

[QuintessentialShadow]

I dont know if I should be.

Our son had his tonsils out nearly 3 weeks ago, he was off school for two weeks, went back last monday. We all have mild colds, so the virus is in the house. He went to a football birthday party on saturday. It was warm when the party started at 1.30, 17 degrees and sunshine. Party finnished at 3.30. DH was supposed to pick DS up on the bike (with tailgator) to cycle home 15 minutes, as I had taken a house guest shopping in town. We all came home for 5 pm. I was shocked to see our son on the bike with nothing but his football shirt. At 5pm it was really chilly, and the sun was not warming any longer. They had spent 1 1/2 hours getting home, gone to the playground, etc, son still in just tshirt.

Wake up at 3am, son has a really nasty cough, and temperature at 38.5. So I gave calpol and shouted at dh for being so irresponsible.

We are also flying to spain to see my sister for half term, that is in 4 days. I am panicking here now. Son is still asleep, I dont know whether it is too early to take to emergency doct seeing that he only got ill this night. But he just recently had his tonsils out, and is weaker than usual.

Dont really know what to do. Feel unusually helpless right now. DH is just angry with me for being upset with him for not dressing him in his sweater and coat, and went to sleep on the sofa. Partying words were: If you are like this, I will just leave you to take care of sick ds. Really upset here.

I really don't see the problem. My son at 5 would regularly refuse to wear a coat so I let him go out without it. Dd is 4 and often won't wear a coat or jumper even when it's cold. IIRC the common cold centre at Salisbury proved that exposure to cold air doesn't cause colds. Give him some calpol, get his temp down, plenty of fluids, bet he's fine in a couple of days.

So you are being v hard on your dh imo, it's not the huge problem you see it as imo. And he should be over the tonsils thing if it's 3 weeks ago, sounds like he just has a cold, nothing serious

And I wonder if you're angry with him about something else and using this as a stick to beat him with. I may be way off in which case ignore me but your rage sounds out of all proportion to what he did.

Not wearing a coat doesn't give someone a cold virus.

Is this more to do with how you are getting on with your husband rather than your son's health?

I dont know if its unreasonable or not, its easily done I suppose, especially if he was hot and it was warmer when they set off. I can imagine my DH doing exactly the same thing tbh.
On the other hand I am sure I would react in EXACTLY the same way as you and be very cross and upset if it happened to my DS, plus it sounds as though your DH is being completely out of order with his reaction to your worry and upset, so on balance I'd say no, you arent being unreasonable at all.
Keep him in the warm and calopol'd up today and see how he is later on. If still the same or he seems worse then I'd call the docs.
Hope he picks up soon x

Yes, your DH was foolish for not putting a coat on your DS and I understand why you're cross.

But it won't have given him a virus or made him ill.

Sounds like there's more going on here than just a coat.....

QS - I don't want to seem to be piling in but I am also the mother of a 6 yr old who refuses to wear a coat.

I was thinking that maybe if ds was running round in the playground, he would have been hot anyway and not wanted a coat.
We were out playing yesterday until 4.45pm and ds2 was in a short sleeved T shirt - having dumped his coat on me and run off.

Hope he feels better soon.

if you 'd allowed him to be cycled home then I guess that was a risk you took unelss you had specifically said make sure he wear a coat/fleece. Way too early to worry the dr imho.

One of mine is always outside in a T shirt and by the way cold doesn't cause cold infections either.

Yes, Lizs, that is what my dh is saying too, "It is your fault he is ill as you allowed him to 1. go to the party and 2. cycle home".

Xenia, my son is never out without a coat in winter, he is just not used to it.

He is a boy who till now gets tonsillitis once a month, and had the operation 3 weeks ago. I am not concerned with colds, they get them, cant be helped. But, he recently had an operation, and he is not used to play out without proper clothing, and I worry we have to cancel our holiday in spain. Never been to my sisters home in spain before.

It's nobody's fault he's ill, it's just one of those things.

Are you worried about going to your sisters? Sounds like it.

Why would you have to cancel your holiday if he's got a cold?

And not wearing a coat doesn't give you a cold. Neither does going out with wet hair. Viruses do - and viruses don't care what you're wearing.

Mine were both out without coats or fleeces yesterday.

my 7 year old was cycling around yesterday with only a tshirt on his elder brother had a football strip on too...kids dont feel the cold and fresh air is good to blow away cobwebby germs i think....if their cold they come get a jacket on ...

Some time in warmer climes will probably do him good.

Just got back from the doctor. He has been given a course of antibiotics. He has an infection at the base of his tonsils (not healed up properly).

Like I said, I am not worry about my kids getting colds, kids get colds. My son does not normally get temperature when he has a cold.

Whether this flared up because he was cold, or because of exhausting himself cycling (when he should be taking it more easy still), or because he has been subjected to the germs of going back to school, tennis and karate, is of course not possible to pinpoint. It doesnt matter. Hopefully he will be back in school by wednesday, and be well enough to travel on thursday.