How do you hold babies of different ages?

[erinaceus]

Being in my late 30s and childless, I am at a stage in life where I have to hold a baby or toddler of one of my friends not infrequently. This is all very lovely but:

No-one has ever taught me how to hold a baby/toddler confidently, comfortably and safely for the different stages of baby development up to “too big to be held”.

Where can I learn this? Or can you tell me your go-to prompts/tips?

I’ve not dropped a baby yet but I’ve had a lot of episodes of “neither of us seem particularly comfortable here, what am I supposed to be doing???” type thinking whilst trying to coo and hoping I’m not compressing/stretching something that ought not to be compressed/stretched. After holding my friend’s newborn yesterday (seemed fine but I do wonder) I thought I would start a thread in the hope of collating some experienced Mumsnet wisdom.

Thanks in advance all.

If they're more than a few months old and able to hold their heads steady then you can lift them up around the chest under their arms, then transfer to your hip.

The best thing you can probably do though is watch their parents and copy what they do :)

I'd be honest with the parent and ask how the baby likes to be held.

Some of it is kind of instinctive as a parent as you know when the baby feels "right" and some if it is because you know what needs to be supported when.

Rule of thumb: newborns need total support. Either cradle or hold upright and rest their head on your shoulder

Slightly bigger babies sometimes like to see out. Hold them in front of you facing outwards, sitting on one of your arms and use the other arm to wrap around their tummy

Older babies (6m+ ish)can usually sit on your hip

Obviously different babies have different preferences and needs.

I think I will adopt an “ask the mum or dad” approach. When I was younger I used to feel very scared and awkward holding a baby, and I don’t feel like that so much these days, but I think once I am holding them I sort of feel stuck and frozen, like I don’t know which bits of me or them I can safely move to make us more comfortable.

Thanks everyone for replies, appreciated.

Definitely ask. You're not the only one who finds it awkward - I had never never held a baby until mine was born (age 38!) because I didn't know how to and didn't want to drop them/them to cry. I still don't like holding other babies now.