17 month old mealtime experiences and tips please

[Eirlys1986]

Hi all, my 17 month old DS eats well compared to many I am aware but has also developed a definite favouritism for foods he has now become used to and fond of and refuses to try anything new(all of which I know is developmentally normal so we are just winging it with this) Nursery are happy with his eating.
My main gripe with his eating is that from a very young age (basically from word go with weaning) he will get really worked up and cry at the end of meals. He is no longer hungry as far as I can’t tell- mucking about with food/ throwing it on the floor etc but when it becomes apparent the meal is over he then often will meltdown (not always but probably 80% of the time). He doesn’t like the food being cleaned up from the tray, hands and face being wiped etc. Again, I know this is all normal but it’s the degree of persistent upset I don’t quite understand, I also know toddlers struggle with transitions from one activity to another but he was doing this from 5 months.
Anybody else had this experience or any bright ideas as to what may be the root of upset or any ideas of things I could try to prevent or reduce the melting?! 😆 I’ve tried so far giving him a little wipe of his own to “help” wipe down the tray with me and MIL tends to clean him up with a warm flannel as she thought he may not like the sensation of the wipes. I’m not convinced it is all related to the cleaning up process itself, it’s almost like he is full but also doesn’t want the food to end but is equalled peed off with it all still being on his tray and finds it overwhelming.

Have you tried an activity at the end of mealtimes like asking him to hand all the food pieces of his tray back to you or to put it all back in his plate to be saved for later or tossed out. And then a wee bowl of water for him to splash his little hands on whilst you clean up the rest? Or take him straight to the sink and clean him up there and just let him run his hands through running tap water as a distraction?

Thanks, that’s a helpful idea. I have tried water on occasions which I think he liked but should probably try it more persistently now again 👍🏻

I never ever use a wet wipe or anything cold to clean my boy up. Imagine if someone smeared a cold flannel or wipe across our face just after we’d eaten?!

I would make it fun. Once he’s eaten let him wash his own hands, make up silly songs about washing hands, use washing up liquid so that it makes bubbles

You’re right! I wouldn’t like it at all. My MIL did say this to me before and to be honest I didn’t really give it much thought or think it might be the problem. Perhaps he’s anticipating the wipe that he doesn’t like and that’s what is causing the issues. I shall get some warm bubbly fun sorted for tonight’s meal and report back! 😂

My toddler also went through a phase of refusing to be done with mealtimes despite being done so now we allow her to tidy up after herself so she stacks her plates and puts all her cutleries on top of the other dishes (mine and dad's) and then happily says "all done" and goes for her wash.

So I tried the warm soapy water bowl tonight. He didn’t cry at all during hand wash and face wipe time which was great. We ended up with water all over the floor in dining room (which is carpeted) but I put down a big lino table cloth under his chair so this saved the day!

That will help a lot OP. I keep a basket of flannels in the kitchen that are for wiping up after mealtimes. Always soak them in very warm water and wash his hands and face with one. We keep a bucket in the kitchen and the flannels and bibs get flung in there to be rinsed off before being put through the washing machine once a week.

We've got a kitchen helper stand that he sometimes climbs into after dinner and we let him splash about for a bit in the sink with bubbly water if he wants, although often he just runs off after dinner to play with his toys. I don't mind him getting his clothes wet as he goes for his bath once we've cleared up.

Continue to do what you're doing: Everyone eating round the table together and talking. Give him food he likes and offer him new things too. Tonight we had curry but my 17 month old only wanted the rice and poppadoms. So he had chicken nuggets, peas, rice and poppadoms. Fair enough!

As soon as food starts to get thrown around just clear up. If he's still hungry we give a bowl of Greek yoghurt and a banana. If he's definitely done and everyone else is still eating will he sit in his high chair with toys or books?

Glad to hear that helped! We invested in a splash mat as our room is carpeted as well! Massive lifesaver!

@AudreyJL thanks, will check it out 👍🏻 now I just need to compose a washing hands song!