When does comparison/unsolicited advice end?

[Sazzzaa]

Mum to my amazing 14mo! And he’s my first child

I was just wondering does the comparison or unsolicited EVER END

He has a cousin 2 months younger than him so there’s a lot of direct comparison on DH family side. “Oh he’s better eater than Cousin he’s bigger than cousin he sleeps less than cousin he doesn’t move as much as cousin” etc etc and I just think theyre 2 completely diff babies and PEOPLE at the end of the day. Why so much comparison?

I’m sure when they’re fully grown we won’t remember who was a fussier eater as a baby or who slept through the night first

and MIL!! My word. Youd think we were horrendous parents for…. co sleeping !

”children shout stay in their cot they shouldn’t be in the bed” well maybe months ago you could’ve came round during the sleep regressions to help if you’re full of so much advice!

I did what I had to to get an adequate amount of sleep. And now we’re in a habit. And we sleep well. So I don’t care but I don’t care to be constantly moaned at for it

please tell me it fucking stops I’m drained these are just examples there’s been so many more situations

You're going to have to either

• let it was over you or
• challenge MIL and tell her to stop

Because otherwise she won't and you will go mad.

*wash over

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale I mean the comparison I really do need to it’s hard though

and I do but I mentioned to DH first who said I was being sensitive and ‘she means nothing by it’ eyeroll

I agree with @StrictlyAFemaleFemale ; it doesn’t stop unless you make it stop unfortunately

My answer to your MIL would be 'I'm glad it worked so well for you when it was your turn'. Alternatively 'my word things have changed alot since your day'.

As for the comparisons, no they won't stop. As PP said you either let it go or you shut it down.

I wouldn't call either of these behaviours out directly. But I would have some curt responses prepared. Others will be along to help with some, im sure x

You have to say something. My (otherwise lovely) mum competes with her sisters about my and my cousins’ professional achievement and we’re pushing 40.

I can’t pinpoint when it decreased OP but it does eventually. I completely hear you on what you’re saying and it’s so frustrating. To even have to have your kids be compared when it comes to teething!! Unreal. But it does decrease with time- once they’re in school and the important first milestones are over, people do slowly stop asking and showing quite as much interest. For example they might ask has X lost his first tooth but when they’re on their 6th no one cares if that makes sense. Just keep reiterating “oh that’s nice, kids are so different. What have you been up to lately? Did you hear X in the news….” Worked a treat for me.