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Parenting

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Original poster

Changing a child's middle name

12 replies

AJ91 · 26/02/2023 15:29

Need some advice!
My son is 3 months old and registered with a name I picked for him, me and his dad aren't together and he didn't have any involvement in the name choice.. long story short he's in contact now and making an effort but wants me to change our sons name to his. Obviously I said no as I love the name I picked out for him and I have done everything for him alone.. now he's asking me to at least change his middle name. I get where he's coming from as he's the first son it would be nice to carry on the name but just need some opinions is it the right thing to do? I really do love my sons name so if I was to change it I think I'd add it as another middle name and not completely change the name I picked for him! Is it even possible to change a name after they've been registered or does it have to go through a solicitor/court?

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AnotherEmma · 26/02/2023 15:51

Don't do it.
Is your ex named on the birth certificate, presumably not?
It's not clear whether he wants you to change the surname or first name or both?
I would tell him that based on his involvement so far (ie zero) he has no right to request a name change but if he is consistently involved over the next 6 months plus you could consider adding his preferred name (presumably surname) as a second middle name.
i believe you have until baby's first birthday to change first or middle name (but you can't change the surname so easily).

Original poster

AJ91 · 26/02/2023 15:55

@AnotherEmma sorry I didn't make my question very clear, he originally wanted his whole name changed so it was the same first and last name as his I told him he's keeping the first name I picked out for him and obviously my last name which then made him ask if I would change his middle name to his dads first name.. he's not on the birth certificate as he originally had no involvement with us through pregnancy and birth so even if I wanted to he couldn't be put on as he wasn't there in person when I registered him.
Thankyou for your advice it does make sense to see if he keeps up the effort before making a lifelong change to his name

OP posts:

AnotherEmma · 26/02/2023 15:56

What a cheeky fucker.
Is he paying child maintenance?

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Original poster

AJ91 · 26/02/2023 15:59

No, he has offered to pay towards him since being back in contact but I don't want his money I just want our son to have a relationship with his dad

OP posts:

CooCooNut · 26/02/2023 16:00

Not the point, but my DH didn't attend the registry office when I registered either or our DC but is still on the birth certificates.

Given thr circumstances, I wouldn't change a thing if I were you.

AnotherEmma · 26/02/2023 16:01

AJ91 · 26/02/2023 15:59

No, he has offered to pay towards him since being back in contact but I don't want his money I just want our son to have a relationship with his dad

Don't be ridiculous. Take the child maintenance. He is legally obliged to pay it. If you don't need or want to spend it, put it in a savings account for your son.

RobinRobinMouse · 26/02/2023 16:02

If he wanted to be involved in the name he should have been involved with the baby. It's simply too late now to come in and start making demands.

AnotherEmma · 26/02/2023 16:02

CooCooNut · 26/02/2023 16:00

Not the point, but my DH didn't attend the registry office when I registered either or our DC but is still on the birth certificates.

Given thr circumstances, I wouldn't change a thing if I were you.

Well, yes, because you're married. If parents aren't married, the father has to attend the appointment to be named on the birth certificate.

Ponderingwindow · 26/02/2023 16:03

I would not. Your son will have to deal with the name change for the rest of his life. For some careers that is a complete non-issue. For others, it is a hassle.

the name also no longer belongs to you or his father. It belongs to your son. He really is the only one who should be allowed to change it once he becomes an adult.

RobinRobinMouse · 26/02/2023 16:03

Also agree with pp that you owe it to your son to take the child maintenance and put it in savings for him if you don't wish to spend it now.

Bunnyishotandcross · 26/02/2023 16:04

You can't add a middle name to a birth certificate.
Your ex does not get to call any shots op.
Yabu not shove his csm in a bank account for your dc.

Twazique · 26/02/2023 16:10

He doesn't sound very nice. How will you feel if in year years time he has nothing to do with your son again? Is he very controlling in other ways? Do you feel like you have to change your son's name because he says so?

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