Not waking up

[Becproc23]

My DS is just over 4 weeks old. My DP and I have been setting alarms throughout the night for our son’s feeding schedule.

Worryingly, for the last 2 nights, we’ve both been sleeping through some of our alarms, which is really unusual for us. Last night, I woke up to see that DP wasn’t in bed and when I found him making formula, I had been sleeping through DS’s crying aswell.

Surely this is more than just sleep deprivation? Has anyone else experienced this?

It's unusual - women are primed to wake up when our babies cry. You must be exhausted. Can dh take the baby today while you nap?

Why are you setting alarms?
You would normally wait until they cry before feeding. I assume baby is in your bedroom.

Our baby cried so that woke us,I have never known anyone set alarms? After a few weeks slept 12 hours a night so had a bottle before bed and one in the morning

Who told you to set alarms?

Sorry if it's a thing just never heard of it

We’ve been advised by midwives that baby needs feeding at least every 3-4 hours (he is formula fed) and to wake him if he doesn’t wake himself for feeding, hence why we’ve set alarms. How long can you guys go without feeding your DCs?

Has your baby regained birth weight and is gaining weight ok? If they have then I'd stick to 3-4 hours during the day and then let them wake themselves overnight.

Waking overnight wouldn't usually be advised unless baby isn't gaining weight

As long as your baby is gaining weight in line with expectations and is producing wet nappies you just need to feed when they wake up and let you know they want food.

My DS (now 13) never woke up for feeds during the night. The midwife said not to wake him unless his weight was dropping - which it wasn't. It was very strange and felt unnatural but he just never needed night feeds.

Our youngest DS woke every two hours so he certainly made up for it!

In the days they say to make sure they don’t go more than 3-4 hours without a feed but at night my midwife said don’t need to wake them this was with my 1st when I formula fed. Bit different with my second as bf so I did have to wake in early days so it didn’t affect my supply but if he was formula fed I would have left him to sleep .
also don’t worry about not waking it just means you are so exhausted so need to try and catch up on your rest. Hard with a young one but try as much as you can xxx

That was meant to say “in the early days”

Yes, DS has now regained his weight. He lost almost 12% of his weight by Day5, but luckily he had regained it all by 3 weeks and is still gaining. We literally thought waking every few hours was what everyone else was doing. No wonder we are so exhausted

Oh wow, no don't use alarms now. You may be waking yourselves and him up unnecessarily. Let him do what he needs. You might be lucky and get some longer stretches of sleep!

Thanks for this. I’m going to ensure I get a nap this afternoon and let DP take him. I’m so glad I posted this to know what everyone else’s experiences were xxx

Agree with everyone else, once they're over birthweight and gaining as expected there's no need to wake them overnight!

Some babies do sleep through very quickly, I didn't believe it til I had DC2 who only needed one night feed since birth and by 4 weeks and dropped that so has been sleeping 12 hours since then!

You must be exhausted if you aren't hearing your baby cry.

I was told to wake him as well - but when I asked midwives when I could stop doing this I was never given a straight answer!

I think after the first couple of weeks, if he's gaining weight then let him sleep until he wants feeding

@Becproc23 we will all have advice to give but I would really urge you to check with midwives / HV whoever advised you to do this and feed every 3-4 hours before stopping. We don't know all the info here and why you were specifically told to do that so I would be very cautious about stopping until you have specific advice to do so from your health team.

Hopefully you can speak to someone in the morning and clarify x