Anyone free for some reassurance?

[sugaryouth1]

I'm having to stick to my namechange cos the app isn't playing ball today.

I mentioned in my last thread I have a daughter. She's amazing.
She was playing on the sofa earlier and leant forward to grab the cat. She almost went over the edge so I grabbed her upper arm and pulled her back. She was saying ouch my arm ouch my arm. So I gave her a kiss better and a hug. She's just got in the shower and there's a bruise on her arm. I feel terrible. I feel absolutely awful. I have never hurt a hair on her head and with my past I feel like I've damaged our relationship.
Please can someone just talk about it with me. My husband is at work so I don't know what to do. I have anxiety anyway and I'm getting really worked up. She has nursery next week and I'm scared about that

She may have bumped it doing something else and then it hurt being held there. Even if you did do the bruise it was to save her from being hurt more.

Tell the nursery what happened so they can log it without having to notice it and ask you. They will have seen this sort if thing many many times. They expect it.

Oh I'm so sorry you're feeling this. I didn't see your other post but wanted to send a hug for this one!
Honestly? She'll have long forgotten it soon and what was the alternative? You stopped her having a nasty fall and if you hadn't, you'd be worried about the fact you SHOULD have been able to stop it. Mum guilt is wild and ultimately whether we manage to grab them in a split second and inadvertently give them a bruise or miss them entirely and watch them fall, we are going to feel guilty as anything.

A few weeks ago my little one fell off the sofa and knocked her face. I just couldn't catch her. Poor thing split her upper lip tie bit and there was blood. Traumatised me far more than her! Both of us have forgotten about it until things like this come up and now I can look back and know there was nothing I could have done.

Your relationship won't be damaged at all. Children are very switched on. Your attitude towards her and care makes it clear to her that you love her. You gave her a cuddle and a kiss and she won't link her arm hurting with you in a negative way at all.

It's a horrible thing and one of the tricker parts of this parenting gig but you did exactly what any of us would do (and exactly what those of us who've failed to catch them wish we could have done!!). Try and go easy on yourself and remember that, in a week when she trips and bumps and you couldn't get to her in time, that isn't your fault either.

These little ones are having adventures and learning so much. It's a sure thing that incidents like this happen. Explain it to nursery and they'll understand, they've seen it all!

How old is your daughter? Also bear in mind that grab marks on arms are a red flag for physical abuse. The nursery will notice and should refer to MASH.

I didn’t see your other post, but honestly don’t worry about this. You grabbed her to stop her being hurt. It was the right thing to do. You can explain it to nursery if you feel you need to. It will be done from her memory and her body in a week. No harm done.

Are you getting help with your anxiety? If not do go and see your GP.

@Olivia199 thank you so much for that comment. I will mention it to nursery on drop off Monday. I didn't even think. I was sat on the sofa and just saw her tip forward so grabbed her. Didn't even think. Just knew I didn't want her falling on the floor head down.
I have anxiety. I didn't have the best past growing up and I am always worried I'm going to do something wrong. Usually my husband is here and Is the voice of calm down but he's working and I can feel myself getting very worked up.
Sorry to hear about your little ones accident but glad they are better now

Don’t be so unkind and so ridiculous. The child has a bruise. Toddlers get bruises all the time. No one is going to refer anyone anywhere.

Get a grip on yourself and don’t be so nasty.

.... but thank you for confirming that you care more about me being "nasty" than about an injured child with a suspicious bruise.

@Luredbyapomegranate I was under the perinatal mental health team when she was born. She's now 2 and I do take medication for it which I have for a while. Sometimes when I'm tired or when things that remind me of my past I tend to get really worked up. My anxiety is definitely more around my little girl now. I have a review of my medication next month so I think I'm going to mention the feelings and see if they have any suggestions.

You shielded your your daughter from harm. You won't be the first or last for this to happen to. There was no intent. Your daughter will forget it ever happened x

That's just bloody nasty. You've just accused the OP of purposely harming her child.

Not after one time they won't. I regularly bring my toddler in with a new bruise because he falls over a lot...because he's a normal lively toddler! They just fill in an existing marks form.

@Sirikit I am choosing to ignore your nasty comments purely on the basis that you seem to be in the minority and if I choose to believe them I will be in for a very long night filled with anxiety and tears. I am not going to write an essay on how happy and loved my daughter is. I will of course be mentioning it to her nursery as advised by other posters. I have nothing to hide so I have nothing to fear on that side.

For those who have added reassuring messages thank you very much

Don't worry. You haven't harmed her or your relationship. You were being a good parent! Tell nursery what happened. It's one of those things. Honestly, it's a bruise, it'll heal. It's not serious.

Depending what it looks like when she goes to nursery I wouldn't even say anything if it's just a little bruise. Wait for them to ask you, that's if they even notice. They probably won't

She was either going to bang her head or have this bruise. You didn't do it deliberately cut yourself some slack x

My son went into nursery with a black eye from his brother throwing a toy at him and then a few weeks later he got hit in the face by another sibling when they were play fighting and got another black eye. I did explain it in nursery because It looked really bad, but we never got referred to SS or anything like that. To be honest it wouldn't have surprised me if we had had a call from them considering it was two injuries in close amount of time, but he was verbal enough to give a brief description of what happened if they had asked (which they probably did)

You really don’t need to do anything. This is just one of those things that happens. The bruise was accidental, and she’ll be fine tomorrow.
Children bump and bruise themselves all the time and get better. Sometimes you have to grab them to stop them hurting themselves, like you did. Some parents have to slap their child hard on the back because it looks like they’re choking. A complete stranger yanked my daughter very abruptly away from a door because it was about to slam on her hand. I was very grateful to that lady but the poor woman felt very guilty for grabbing her.
It’s all part of the normal life of a parent but it can be very frightening, and mum guilt makes us feel worse! I hope you feel better soon.

@Sirikit I think If she was a genuine child abuser she wouldn't be bothered to post about a small injury online. If she genuinely had a guilty conscience she would be avoiding nursery and not telling anyone

Thank you for the kind messages. I do have a tenancy to over think and she is my world. She's sat on my knee eating cheese and crackers and holding my hand so I think she's forgotten it. My husband messaged me on his break and said similar. That she's 2 and always on the go and that she'd either have the bruise on her arm or a bruise on her face. I feel better

Well done for grabbing her! I tend to freeze in those situations and so I think it's pretty amazing you managed to grab her before she did any serious harm.

.... except lots of parents will invent a story and try it out before telling professionals. This has all the hallmarks of that.

This, for fucks sake! I’ve grabbed my
daughter many times to prevent her from falling or hurting herself in some way. I’m sure it’s left a small bruise once or twice - didn’t cross my mind that I had done anything other than the right thing. OP, this really is one to let go and not give a moments thought.

They tend to do that in a ‘I saw a bruise on my child and X person said it happened this way, would you believe them’. Or when they’re trying to lie about their circumstances for universal credit and want to test their ‘plausible scenario’.

All you heavy-handed parents constantly grabbing your children to save them from TERRIBLE DANGER and bruising their arms in the process 🥴