Anxious about being alone with two kids

[missrhib]

Hoping for tips, moral support and advice really.
We just had a baby, and my husband is going back after his parental leave on Monday. This means I'll be alone full time at home with my new baby and 3 year old son. Our 3yo has had some behaviour issues recently which we put down to the huge change for him, but we've been struggling a little with it, especially the fact he ignores a lot of instructions. I'm worried about being alone with both of them and not being able to cope, not being able to get to the newborn fast enough, and not being able to control my 3 yo in terms of not jumping on me when I'm feeding the baby etc. I feel ridiculous because there's so many people that have had two kids or more and they've been fine, but I'm just so anxious about Monday. I don't know how I'm going to cope in the house, let alone trying to go out anywhere with both of them. I'm scared I won't be able to keep one or both of them safe, especially if I take a walk with them and my 3 yo runs off before I can catch him. Sorry I've rambled a bit, any advice would be so much appreciated. TIA

You will get use to it and be fine, for what it’s worth I was a lone parent to 4 from my youngest being a newborn, we soon got into a routine as for out and about mine wasn’t a runner so wasn’t an issue he was taught to hold on to the side of the pram, if yours is a runner then reins or a double, or buggy board are options

A sling is really useful. Pop baby in it. Much easier for dealing with toddler and house jobs.
A basket with toys/books etc that only comes out when you are feeling the baby. Toddler may want to be near you while you do this.
Definitely reins are useful. We had little backpack ones not the wrist ones.
You will find a new routine.

The more solo parenting you do the more confident you get. Make a packed lunch for the older one the night before. Take baby steps, just been in house by yourself all day tomorrow will be a big achievement. When you start going out and about tell DD if he runs off he will have to go into reins.

It will be terrifying at first but you can do it.

Remember the MN saying ‘everyone feed, no one dead’.

It gets easier and by the end of the week, you’ll probably be feeling fine about it. If you need to go out, just remember your baby can’t go anywhere so you can leave them in the pram or wear a sling to make sure your older child can’t run off.

It is scary, its a huge change. I had a 2.5yo when my youngest was born. You learn to find ways to do it. You can't possibly know now before you've done it - bur you WILL learn.

You don't need to go out straight away. Start off small and build up. Get a wrist strap for your 3yo and keep it in your bag, just in case. Get a good travel mug and take tea/coffee wherever you go - it seriously helps during a moment of exhaustion. Make sure everything is packed including drinks and snacks for all, plasters, calpol etc. If you're prepared for anything you feel more confident.

Play with your 3yo when baby naps. Housework is not important for now. Get DH to prep veg for dinner the night before and then just put something in the slow cooker. Prep activities for 3yo the night before- even if its just a pile of books or colouring. Get some balloons so when you're super tired or can't move you can throw balloons to your 3yo. Playdough for him too. TV is not bad but don't exhaust it. Watch things like numberblocks as you'll feel like you're doing something worthwhile.

Mostly you'll get used to winging it. I got a sling wrap and carried mine round with me when I needed to be busy - she'd nap in it too which helped a lot! You will be fine.

You could be describing me two weeks ago. I have a three year old DS who has been challenging lately and a 4 week old DD and was panicking about being alone with them. It really won’t be as bad as you think.
I found DS improved slightly when DH went back to work and he got back into a routine.

Taking them both out was challenging and the wrist strap I bought DS to stop him bolting DID NOT work and caused more melt downs so I’ve ordered a baby carrier and will have at least have my hands free to deal with DS. I’ve found it easier to drive places than walk. Don’t make life harder for yourself than it has to be and stick to visiting family and friends who can help out rather than trying to do too much.

I was also the same as my son is 3yo and DD is 10 weeks. A sling definitely helps when out as you can push the pram or hold his hand. DS behaviour also got challenging in the last few months so I do have times when he is having a tantrum and baby is screaming all whilst I’m trying to make tea but you manage! You get into a bit of a routine when DP goes back to work.

the more you go out the more confident you get. I have only been out a lone a handful of times e.g meeting a friend at a cafe, softplay or the park. I have found I drive most places now even though I previously loved to walk everywhere.