16mo weaning nightmare

[Orangepen13]

My 16mo loves breast milk so much, she’d rather that than eat. It’s got to a point where she’s refusing mealtimes and just whining for me instead. I’m really conscious not to breastfeed around mealtimes because I don’t want her to miss out on food, but it’s so stressful because she really, really escalates, reaching out for me, screaming, getting into a right tizz. Every single meal (except breakfast).

Today reached a peak I’ve never seen. She had food (soft cheese and carrot sandwiches and pear yoghurt) and water, but she absolutely lost it. After about 10 mins I took her out the highchair, but she didn’t want to cuddle because she wanted milk. The only thing that worked in the end was standing up and rocking for a bit. It was horrible, she screamed so loud so for so long and I felt awful.

i can’t work this out, is this a tantrum because she didn’t get what she want and therefore I just need to help her be with these feelings, or is she still too young and I should be responding to this need for milk?

Feel like we’ve got into a right mess. I’m trying to get to a place of breastfeeding morning, nap time, reunions, and bedtime.

(she is in childcare three days a week and has no milk there. She occasionally takes some cows milk, not a huge amount, doesn’t take formula. We’ve tried having lunch/dinner in different places, giving different kinds of foods etc)

Yeh I have a feeling this is coming for me although I don't have to deal with the mealtime issue as my son does like his food. It's through the night we have an issue that I'll need to tackle.

But if you think it's maybe a little worse right now maybe she is feeling under the weather or has sore gums/teeth?
If not then I think you need to get someone else to do all her meals without you there just for two weeks or so until she gets out of this habit.

Is she perhaps teething or coming down with a virus? It's common for toddlers to go off their food when they are feeling unwell and some of the later teeth can be huge in relation to them and make their mouth feel totally odd.

I have three children, all were breastfed, and to varying degrees all had fluctuating desire for food within the second year. DS1 was very very slow to take to solids and was probably getting most of his calories from breastmilk until 22 months (I remember the age as solidly burned into my brain because I was so worried about it!) when he discovered gravy and never looked back

DS2 was much more food orientated from a young age, but would revert to milk-heavy if ill or teething.

DS3 is somewhere in between the two. Probably closer to DS2 (I think DS1 was quite an extreme eater) - milk doesn't replace food for him, unless he's really unwell and having a day where he sleeps the whole day.

For DS1 I never found that restricting BF helped - in fact it seemed to have the opposite effect. I think as long as she does eat SOME food, it's not so much of a worry if they are breastfeeding as well.