crying cant cope

[helpffg]

I can’t do this I am so fucking unhappy

lone parent as disgrace of ex partner left me 8.5 months pregnant. Sat up all night with a crying baby who sleeps 30 minutes and now won’t take any milk with susie yes chicken pox. She’s just writhing around drinking half what she usually does. I am looking after her but I feel like I hate her suddenly. I’m sitting here crying. There’s nobody else to help. Why won’t she sleep or eat. The gp said this wouldn’t bother her. I can’t do this anymore I have a good career and fucking wish I had never had a baby. Sorry for swearing

*suspected chicken pox

You can do this. Better days are coming. I know it feels horrifically impossible right now, but you’re built for this xx

I am so sorry. My two had chicken pox as babies, it could be that she is itchy, also the spots may be rubbed by her nappy. I used to dunk them in a bath with a bag of oatmeal in it and used calamine to soothe their skin. Use calpol but not anything with ibuprofen in, if she is hot and bothered she will itch more.
It is hard when they are babies, I think all parents have regrets at times, if you don’t have to work try and doze with her, I drank lots of tea and ate biscuits so survived on empty calories. The lack of sleep is shit but it becomes normal unfortunately and then it stops and you wonder how you managed.
You are magnificent and strong to be doing this on your own.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It's so hard when they're little, and you really aren't alone. With the chickenpox, I found a bath with oats in some tights, and soothing cream would help. If you're worried that they're not getting enough fluids, go straight back to the GP. If you're also feeling this way, please speak to your GP. PND is not something to ignore (speaking from personal experience), and there is no shame in asking for help. You can absolutely do this, take it a minute at a time and repeat "it will pass" - because, trust me, it does

OP, so sorry to hear this, you can do this.

I am not a single parent but my husband works a lot and I did all nights / days etc.

When DS has chickenpox he was miserable and screamed when awake. I put a big duvet in front of the TV and spent the night with him there. I held him when screaming, let him feed on and off and watched rubbish TV.

Next day, I had his basket there and as soon as he was asleep, I put him in the basket and went to sleep. when he was awake, we watched rubbish TV (cuddling, clusterfeeding).

For me, giving up on achieving anything but sleep when available and cuddles for my baby took me through. I think I rewatched the first few seasons of greys anatomy in one go. …

obvously, use calamine lotion, painkiller (cannot remember if there was one of calpol /ibuprofen you weren’t allowed ?) etc, but once you cannot physically do more, your little baby will still need you to cuddle her and hold her. Horrid disease.

Not related to your current situation but my youngest is immunised against chickenpox. After what I went through with her big brother as a baby I thought no way.

sending you 🍫 🌺 ☕️

Thanks so much @Fruitcakesanddogs @GrandmasMeatloaf @Shemovesshemoves21 @Worksforme shes still not sleeping but has drank her usual feed so that’s a relief. @GrandmasMeatloaf i am on maternity and will do what you suggest, just go with it and sleep when possible. I think a lot of this feeling is resentment that I’ve been left to cope alone. It feels really unfair.

OP, it is incredibly unfair and horrid. You shouldn’t be in this position.

if you at all can, try to view it as you and your baby against the world. You will both get through this, get what sleep and food you can and baby will feel better snuggling up to you.

I was always terrified of co-sleeping before 6 month (hence duvet, floor and TV) but I found it quit soothing to lie on the duvet with my face close to my DS when he was asleep…. He turned his little face to me in his sleep. Although moving him to basket and myself to bed for longer periods (1.5 hours) was bliss!!

You can do this OP!!

It's hard when they're poorly and you're tired.

Do you have any porridge oats? Stick a handful into the toe of a sock and run him a warm bath with the sock of oats in it. Squeeze it to make the water oaty and use the sock to gently wash him. It will soothe his irritated itchy skin.

No neurofen based meds with chickenpox but you can give paracetamol or an antihistamine if he's got no other medical contraindications.

For the next couple of days forget about the house, any plans etc and just spend time cuddling your son, snoozing when you can and both of you resting up. You need a break.

Mine were awful with chicken pox. What helped was putting them in a lukewarm bath with porridge oats in a sports sock. It makes the water a milky colour and is soothing to the itchiness. Pop her in the bath and play with her there as long as she'll tolerate. Then warm towel to park dry, fresh pjs, calpol, milk and nap. Repeat as often as needed.

It does pass. There is nothing wrong with you. There is a reason sleep deprivation is used as torture!