I NEED A RANT.

[NaatQ968]

Does anyone else find it really annoying when other mums/parents comment on what you buy for your baby? Or comment what you do for your baby?

Im sick to death of people making me feel bad.

"It's not recommended to use that"
"It's not recommended to do this"

Like since when was every baby the same? I understand guidelines but at the same time, they are just that, GUIDELINES.

No one would ever do anything to hurt or hold back their children... keep your nose out!

AIBU?

Hmmm I'm on the fence.

Things like advising your baby to rear face, and avoid cot bumpers etc save lives. So some might me 'guidelines' but those guidelines are there for good reason. In the child / babies best interests. I always normally side with mum knows best but some situations are obvious like I've stated above and if I saw someone who had a newborn or baby in a cot full of frilly bumpers and cushions I would say something.

This I get completely.

But like, I've seen a lot of women and me out down other parents because of silly things like, what baby Walker they've bought, or what bottles they've bought, milk they are using and how they do the bottles and dummy's they've got and clothes etc and I just find it majorly frustrating.

It’s like they won’t accept that all babies and mums are individuals……

literallt could never imagine telling another mum they’re doing something wrong, as if I know anything about their child 😂

This!!

@NaatQ968 I agree. Especially when other women try to interfere with how you're feeding your baby. Putting their 2 pence in if you're not breastfeeding. That prep machines aren't recommended and all that. People need to keep their noses out but if it's something that can risk the child IE cot bumpers that's the only time I think it's okay to say something, tactfully though.

Being a mum especially first time is a learning curve and we get so much information thrown at us. Others pointing the finger telling us what to do when we haven't asked for their opinion is frustrating!

Think it depends on what they are commenting on really. If I saw a good friend or family member forward facing a 8 month old in a car seat or putting a 1 month old down to sleep on their front in a nest or trying to give a 6 month old whole grapes, I’d probably say something. You know, stuff that’s actually dangerous. If it’s personal preference like giving a dummy or choosing wether to breast or formula feed then yeah, I think people should definitely keep their nose out.

It's tricky. If they're commenting on whether you are going to do baby led weaning or whatever - it's no one's business.

But if you've bought some super cute baby item from some tiny little Etsy type store, or more likely from a massive Chinese Wish type store, there's a significant chance that the item won't have been made to the safety standards required to sell these things in the UK and you are putting your child at increased risk.

However I'd imagine that as most people giving you advice don't know the ins and outs of product safety standards - they're probably the former group so ignore them!

Just to add - the Etsy seller probably doesn't know about how they need to comply. The Chinese monster seller won't care.

Are they trying to make you feel bad? Guidelines are there for a reason, your choice not to follow them of course, but if it keeps happening you’re either making unconventional choices or you know a lot of judgmental people.

The mummy knows best brand of parenting isn’t always best for babies. Weaning onto chocolate at 4 months for example isn’t a choice that should be respected, it’s shit parenting and dangerous so if the parents aren’t looking out for the best for the baby it’s good if someone else does. They’ll probably get defensive but it’s still worth trying.

So it depends on what examples are causing this to happen. Babies are individuals but research is changing all the time, guidelines are updated constantly to try and keep as many babies safe and alive as possible. Ignore them if you wish but other people can have an opinion, especially if they care about your child.

That prep machines aren't recommended and all that

They're not though. And it doesn’t matter what your baby is like, there’s no difference between babies that makes something safer when the NHS says they’re not. Use one but you can’t argue that they’re not recommended.

To be honest I think this is partly to do with the sentiment that everyone is responsible for every child, and while I can agree to some extent, and in some circumstances, this can be taken too far.
I suffer from anxiety, as do many others and it's better that my own crap stay in my head and not vocalised.
Knowing too much is what is making many parents anxious wrecks. I'd rather not be told that the paint on my child's bedroom furniture could potentially be linked to cancer as could living within the vicinity of god knows what.

Was about to dare to say this!

Depends what it is to be honest. If you were giving a baby a dummy dipped in brandy or sugar I would probably say something!

It just never stops, and as parents we aren't made to question ourselves so much. One child dies in rare occurrence and now we all have to forever feel the dread of this thing for evermore.
Stop telling parents what you have heard or read because many parents are purposely blocking it out, because otherwise they wouldn't function.
There are parents who are contemplating a crawling helmet to prevent head injury 🤕 n hardwood floors!!