Feel so sad about my kids growing up

[wistfulwednesday]

Except they are 3 weeks and 3 years old! Both still tiny!

I'd get feeling this way when they were teenagers, but it's like I'm pre-feeling those feelings ready and it's making me sad cause I'm going to go through it twice now! I know how silly it is but these years are just so precious and will be gone so quick. I just look at my newborn and think it feels like yesterday my eldest was tiny. I keep looking back at photos of my eldest as a tiny baby to compare and I just get this sad, nostalgic feeling. Even photos from a year ago he's so different to now. I feel like I haven't got to say goodbye to all the versions of him because I didn't realise they'd gone!

My hormones are probably still all out of whack and causing a lot of it, and of course I'm just blessed to have two healthy children and there's no bigger blessing than being able to watch your kids grow up. But it's just this weird wistful sad nostalgic feeling that's bothering me! Has anyone had this?! Does it pass?!

Every age is precious in it's own way though (and personally I like any age more than 0-2!). When they start nursery they do all sorts of cute things there and you get a bit of a break so appreciate them even more. When they start school they learn so much and there's parties, having friends for tea etc, As they get older they get into all different things and you start learning from them! As teens you can start doing things with them that you like as well as doing things they like - they still need just as much support and encouragement IMO! Then you start making plans for things to do when they finish school - go on holiday outside the school holidays and save a lot of money for a start!

Start looking forward rather than dwelling too much on the past would be my advice, make the most of every stage. If you spend all you time moping about what's gone by then you can't enjoy what's happening now.

I hate the way we are flooded with overly sentimental crap on FB and similar, which talks about babies and children growing up as if it’s a bereavement. All that “hold on to his hand because one day it will be the last time” nonsense.

My children are as wonderful, loved and precious now as they were as babies and toddlers. They are still here, they are still them. Of course we look back with nostalgia and fondness but If it’s spoiling your experience you need to give your head a wobble.

Sorry that sounded harsher than intended! Of course you are full of hormones!

@TinaYouFatLard is very wise!

Your children will grow up, and it will be just as wonderful. You are pre-empting feelings but you don't even know what it's going to feel like until you experience it. It really doesn't make sense to worry about this now.

Yes, of course, you'll see your children grow and develop into their older selves, and you'll be able to see their choices as they go through life, and that will be just as wonderful as all the other stages they'll go through.

It's just the natural way of things and it's not something to fear, it's just life.

It's a cliche but I think worth saying, try to live in the present, not the past or the future. You will miss what's happening now if you keep looking backwards and forwards all the time!

👏🏻

It’s hormones OP. And also this ⬆️

Each age has its charms. As my two DC age I'm really enjoying how their personality is developing. I have a co-worker with two adult children and I love hearing little snippets of their chats on the phone, I aspire to her lovely relationship with her children.

Enjoy the little years as they do go fast and take lots of pictures but there are more happy memories ahead.

Hormones hormones hormones! I promise! I have a 2.5yo and a 9mo. And don't get me wrong, I look back at pictures of the 2.5yo when she was tiny and go mushy, but here are two examples of things that have happened this week:

2.5yo has learned more words and has taken to asking me 'how are you feeling mummy?' in the morning, which is melting my heart
9mo has just learnt who mummy and daddy are - if you say to him 'Where's Daddy?' he looks at DH and if my mum says to him 'Where's Mummy?' he looks at me.

And it's stuff like that that makes me soooo excited, there are so many amazing things to look forward to and while I'm not rushing to meet them or wishing their lives away, I'm loving the ages they're at and excited for the next bit.

I feel like this every so often.

It's not so much that I'm sad about them growing up, as I've found them to be joyful at each stage so far (eldest now 7).

For me, every so often something happens or something is said that makes me realise how much time has already passed, and how their absolutely innocence and freshness will be rubbed off by the world. They are so precious, and new, and clean and naive. It can be hard to watch that change, even though they are learning and developing in a way that is exciting and wonderful too.

Ah, OP, this is definitely peak hormones, as the other posters have said!

My youngest turns 10 this year (my eldest quite a bit older) and I promise it's actually lovely to see them grow. Sometimes I vaguely miss the cuteness of my now 5'10", soon to be 15 year old, because as a toddler he was adorable. BUT, he is just as amazing now. He's just different, still him though! There's a very special element of pride to seeing your teens/older children become their own people and knowing you helped to grow them.

Also, I know this is probably going to go down like a lead balloon, but you do forget a lot about the baby and toddler stages once you're out of them! They seem so, so long ago now and I honestly don't miss it at all. I don't have time to: I'm busy with them as they are now!

I think it is your hormones and it'll pass once they settle down post birty.

I have a 12 year old. I can’t wait for this to be over!

Needed to see this. You're so right.

Needed to see this, thanks so much for posting.

I have a 17 month old and a 1 week old and like you am struggling with the concept of them growing up. Found myself sobbing about it today.

Keep telling myself it is hormones and will pass.... and also how much more fun my eldest is now compared to when he was a newborn!! It's been amazing watching him grow so keep telling myself I can't wait for the next stage etc which helps xx