Three months- really struggling

[JL642]

I am struggling - finding it harder now than I did at two weeks, six weeks, eight weeks. EBF, only contact naps in the day, sleeps max two hours in a row at night (normally one hour), hates the pram, sling and car. Dislikes cuddles outside of mummy. Help - I am exhausted.

Forgot to add - screams blue murder if I try and put her down (awake or asleep). Honestly it’s as if the world is ending if I try

Sorry you’re having a hard time. At 3 months my baby was also randomly fuming at everything for about a week - hated the car, the pram, the sling etc. It didn’t last long for her so hoping it passes quickly for you too. Would you be open to expressing so your partner can give a bottle in the night and you can get a bit more sleep?

Thank you. She has been like this since birth but I just thought it would get easier by now (ie maybe naively I thought perhaps she’d like SOMETHING for transportation by now, or perhaps she’d be ok for me to put down for even 5 minutes as opposed to needing to be in my arms all day, or perhaps she’d be up for sleeping 3 hours at night by now).

I know I was probably naive but it’s made me feel a bit demotivated that things are much the same and the mummy is even more exhausted three months down the line.

Thank you for the suggestion of night feeds. She doesn’t take a bottle, and to be honest she gets so much comfort from BF I don’t have the heart to push a bottle. She gets so upset poor thing.

If I was to summarise she just seems to be having a really tough time here in the world which breaks my heart

@JL642 oh bless her. Does she get windy/constipated? Maybe colic? Maybe tongue tie? Could she be overtired? Does she have a bedtime routine? Maybe co sleeping would help? Apologies you probably have looked into all these already just thought I’d throw them out there.

No thank you very much for the suggestions.

I’ve had her checked for tongue tie. She has a good routine for bed time and in the day I am very careful with her wake windows and nap times. I get out once a day too to make sure she isn’t bored.

I am hesitant to ask the gp for any help re possible colic or something else in case they just say she is being a normal baby. My gut is there isn’t anything in particular wrong, other than she isn’t a very happy baby (unless she is in my arms). I don’t think it’s wind causing the issues as I burp her.

High needs baby/difficult baby. Sorry. I had one too and it’s soul destroying and exhausting. We changed DS to the buggy attachment as opposed to the bassinet at about 4 months and it made a difference. He also LOVED forward facing in the sling from about 5 months. He also started occasionally napping in the car as opposed to permanently screaming from about 4-5 months as well. He did get easier with each passing milestone. He started allowing us to put him down for short periods at about 4 months because he was desperate to roll and used to scream the house down with frustration trying to do it. We night weaned at 10 months but I’d do it sooner next time with a high needs baby for my own sanity (also EBF, also woke 1-2 hourly, also screamed the house down if a bottle or dummy came within 5 foot of him). Hang on in there, he became a very very easy child when he wasn’t a baby anymore!

Thank you that’s just what I wanted to hear - sounds like there is hope!

I’ll check if I can turn my bassinet into the pram earlier than the six months I had in mind as I think my baby might prefer that too, good idea.

Does baby scream if you put them in a bouncer chair? Awake I mean, not for naps. My 6m old loves his bouncer chair we got it when he was about 3/4 months. He will only contact nap too by the way. Not much advice to give re nighttime sleep apart from try to feed them as much as possible before bed, though I formula feed so unsure how easy that is with breastfeeding, also I've always paid close attention to my babies wake windows to ensure he got adequate daytime sleep as I hear this helps their nighttime sleep. I know it's so hard but everything is a phase with babies, things will soon change xx

We changed to the pram seat around 3 months too. Made a huge difference. I do most naps in the pram now and it gives me arms free even if it's for 20 minutes.

Have you considered co sleeping on a night? I was convinced I wouldn't do it but has really helped maximise on sleep.

Also have you tried a dummy? I know not everyone wants to use them but I've found them really helpful at settling between feeds.

My first was a high needs baby, she's a high needs 3.5 year old now lol. So much energy, personality and love of life. Definitely tough at times but so much fun!

Thank you. Yes she screams in bouncer too. I’d say maybe once a week she’ll sit in it long enough for me to change out of my PJ top. Rest of time it’s blue murder.

Thank you. I’ll make sure I keep on top of day wake windows.

Thank you! I’ll have a think about your suggestions. Your daughter sounds lovely 😊

Sorry I sound like I’m moaning. I’m not, or I don’t mean to at least!!’. Just tired and I was looking for some supportive comments, so these messages have helped.

I’ve got a 15 week old who also recently went through a phase of screaming murder in pram and car seat
another one for changing from a flat bed into pram seat, I can finally push her round shopping and she’s happy now she can look round! I’ve also found playing white noise whilst in pram and car seat. She’s now gone back to sleeping on car journeys. And last one attached one of the Lamaze brand toys with the hook thing onto seatbelt of car seat or pram bar to entertain herself has been what’s managed to get her back on side!

hope things get better OP!!

My son went through phases like this.

What helped was being told that it's ok for them to cry sometimes and that you need to fit your oxygen mask first.

It was ok for me to have a shower while he cried in the bouncer. I could see him, he could see me. He was safe.

It was ok for me to go to the loo while he was safe in the play pen. He might cry, but he's ok.