Baby screen/ TV time

[ZEWatson]

Do/ Did you let your baby watch screens?
I have major mum guilt/ the feeling I'm doing this all wrong. Baby is coming up to 4 months old and has been a 'difficult baby'. She has milk allergies and from day 1 has been colicky/ spends A LOT of time awake- has rarely had longer than 3 hours total sleep during day time hours, now its about 1.5-2 hours per day (isn't toooo bad at night). We do singing, sensory play and do 3 baby groups each week and go for lots of walks but we've just moved house and there's soooo much to do (no family within 3 hours drive) and most days she'll have one or two times where we'll put her in her chair and put on HeyBear sensory videos on our phone/ TV and she is transfixed, it means I can sort the laundry, we can eat our meal together or I can do an odd job. I can't help but feel guilty/ shocked that I am putting my fairly small baby infront of screens but unless you're giving her your undivided attention she cries if left on her own with her toys and I'd never get anything done!
Anyone else feel the same/ have any kind advice/ opinions? It's usually just for 10 mins at a time, sometimes a little longer. I'm torn and confused!

You will always get someone who is going to say you shouldnt, but the majority of mums at one point have had to employ the TV babysitter to give themselves a break.

DD was the same - she was not the baby who was content to sit and look at a washing machine or a spatula or whatever they always say SHOULD be entertaining them.

And no, the sling did not work either.

You are doing it as the exception rather than the rule and sounds like baby is getting plenty of stimulation elsewhere so I really would not worry.

My baby has been watching TV (also hey bear!) since he was around 4 months old (he is 6 months). I know it's highly not recommend and frowned upon but as you say sometimes it's the only way to get a short break to do something or eat myself, also he has a feeding aversion (which is currently getting looking into by a specialist) and usually he won't drink his bottle unless he is watching tv as he needs a distraction . It's tv or he starves himself so tv wins!! Don't worry about it x

10 minutes a time is fine OP! You're doing great, anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. I think videos can be good for them actually, as long as you incorporate other activities which you are doing!

I didn’t. I know plenty of people who didn’t. But as you can see plenty of people do so if it’s what you feel you need to do then you may as well let go of the guilt. There’s no benefit to a baby of a few months old of whatever screens and people tend to underestimate how long their DC are using them.

I didn't until he was 6 months and then we watched a night garden each evening. We moved house before mine was 2 months old so I know what you mean about having loads to do and having a baby.
At that age, mine was happy in his moses basket, on his playmat or in his swing chair watching me and his toys and the cat. I chatted to him and took him around the house with me as I did things. TV was sometimes on in the background but I didn't put him in front of it. But, mine had always been very chilled out and easy to please, it may have been a different story if not!!

Baby shouldn’t be having any screen time under 1. It’s not developmentally appropriate.

I actually wrote a similar thread and I got made to feel like pure shit to be honest. So much so I haven’t let my baby watch anything at all since. I wish I never wrote it. Getting called lazy as a mother is not a nice feeling at all, and I know I’m not… infact everyone who knows me would laugh at that because I’m nothing of the sort. It was only to get pieces of housework done etc. However now I’ve had time to digest it and reflect I feel like there’s probably lots of people who do it and as long as they’re getting exposure to everything else they’re supposed to and not sat in front of it for hours I’m sure it’s not too awful. Look at me saying this when I’ve turned the tv completely off though… I’ve actually found that I can occupy him in many other different ways I didn’t really need the tv as much as I thought I did when I was using it! Do what works for you, it sounds like you’re doing just great. I think we all need to take the pressure off ourselves sometimes!

My 11 month old has watched a bit of tv daily for months now. Zero wrong with it op.

I’ve actually found that I can occupy him in many other different ways I didn’t really need the tv as much as I thought I did when I was using it!

I’m sorry you felt so bad about your own thread @Roseyrhubard but this is very telling. It’s okay for babies to find their own stimulation and get a bit bored sometimes too. It’s not a binary tv or complete mum martyrdom thing.

There’s lots wrong with it, particularly for a baby under 1. It’s damaging a developing brain.

Stop all the baby sensory and play groups. Baby doesn't need it and you are putting pressure on yourself inadvertently by trying to do all this, plus it can overstimulate baby. She's weeks old, wt this age, life itself is sensory, no need to pay good money for classes. Let her be with you, put her in a sling or whatever when you do housework, chat to her about what you're doing, sing to her etc

@MelaniesFlowers that's nothing, the other day she had cake and a bag of skips on the same day followed by an episode of the teletubbies! Call social services!

Yes you’re right and I think this is definitely what I’ve realised since I’ve turned the screens off completely

Once I had a second child (then third and fourth) it's hard to stop your baby watching TV. The older ones will have it one after school or whenever and they are drawn to the movement, sound and colours. I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all. Very, very few people never let their kids watch tv (despite what they may say)

My PFB had almost no TV or screen time till the age of two as recommended.

My equally precious but absolutely crazy second one needs a video every time I change his nappy since he has been six months old so on days when we are at home that could e about forty minutes a day. It's impossible to change his nappy otherwise. I feel less guilty when he is watching postman pat rather than baby shark but mostly it is baby shark.

Also dh watches a lot of cricket with him...

Purely out or curiosity please can you share your sources? I'm very interested in child/ brain development and would like to read the studies. As the youngest of 4 I can promise that the TV would have been on tons when I was a baby and i've done ok!

Conveniently for my husband the baby was born just before the world Cup so we had football on all day every day for the first month or so 🤣 maybe this was the start of her fascination for screens🤣

Please can you share some ideas? She's not quite using her hands yet but has good tracking with her eyes. She has a play gym with lots of different dangling bits but will only lay in it for 5 mins if I'm lucky before screaming, similar with her bouncing chair. She LOVES a busy room which is why baby groups and classes have been a life saver, she'll happily just watch the toddlers zooming around, but at home its just me and her until my husband comes home. She's never been a baby to just be content in a bassinet or on a mat, she's always needed a lot of stimulation, I think because in her first month she was so poorly with her allergies she just needed distraction from the pain. I've made her toys with ribbons and banners, home made rain sticks, she likes looking at moving lights too.

That's interesting. I know for a fact they use sensory YouTube videos in the NICU for older babies who are still inpatients, surely they wouldn't if it were so damaging?

I don't think a small amount matters, especially when it's to help your sanity! We didn't (DD didn't watch TV until nearly 2 years) but partly because the layout of the house and her temperament meant I could easily stick her in a bouncy chair next to eg the dishwasher and talk to her whilst emptying it. She liked watching and the interaction and being given something like a plastic sieve to wave.

Once she got to about five months I'd pop her in the high chair near me whilst I was doing food prep/cooking and she'd watch, bash things, drop things on the floor etc. To bath/shower I'd put her in the bathtub/shower cubicle next to me and she'd play with bubbles whilst I got on with washing.

Basically any chore I could do with her there I did. Which left naptime free for me to do what I wanted!

But with hindsight I don't think 30 mins of TV a day would have done any harm. Have a look at the CBeebies stuff - it's much better quality than a lot of other channels and there are programmes specifically aimed at the very youngest ones.

TV/screens are more of a problem if they stop the child doing other things. So if they're watching x hours per day that's x hours when they're not playing, exercising etc. Half an hour or so when you're doing loads of other things (bearing in mind a trip to the shops is a sensory experience for a baby!) is fine.

Thank you. That's reassuring. And yes she only ever has it when I'm doing something like cleaning out the rabbits or other chores that I can't have her nearby. I did pop her bouncer in the kitchen infront of the washing machine the other week while I cooked dinner and she was happy enough for the majority ☺

My eldest didn't watch any children's tv until she was about a year (I think) but during maternity leave she 'watched' many box sets (House being a favourite) and sports.

Do what you need to do. There'll be things you do 100% by the book and things you don't.

I wish my daughter was interested in HeyBear sensory videos at that age. Sometimes you just need 10 minutes. It sounds like you do lots with them so a little bit of screen time here and there won't hurt.

Also, don't stop the groups! They are great for young babies and help you to get out of the house, bond with baby and socialise with other mums. If you are happy going to them then keep going!

I'm currently pregnant and have a 2 year old so this next baby is probably going to be watching a lot of Frozen and Moana!

I'm heavily pregnant with a very young toddler. I totally get the need for downtime etc but use music, radio, singing toys and then just household chores and tasks she could watch as a PP suggests. I can't understand the lack of imagination so many women seem to have that lead to using screens. The guidance is so clear. It does your baby no good. Guilt is a good indicator of poor parenting sometimes.

Hey.
You should be really careful talking to people like that online, maybe you don't realise the tone in which your message is read, but indirectly telling someone they're parenting badly could lead to suicide, self harm or any other combination or mental health crisis' for someone who may already be on the edge.
Please can you give me some of your ideas for what I can do instead? She will scream if left with toys/ bouncer/ music on etc. I NEVER put her infront of a screen for 'down time' it's always to do household jobs.

Please be kind, you never know who's on the other end of the phone.