I tried a really long time to have children. It cost a lot of money in the end, years of fighting and frustrations and sadness. Then it finally happened and it was wonderful.
It happened again with twins and I was complete.
My husband is nice enough but not really proactive. He’s content to go along as long as he doesn’t have to do anything.
I didn’t have to work and i’d go to places with my children, visit somewhere new everyday. When the lockdowns happened it was idyllic. We were all so very happy.
They’re all at school now and only a couple of years on and I’ve never been so miserable in all my life. The contrast is stark.
It’s like nothing is ever enough. They’re not interested in anything. They demand my attention when it suits but will discard me quickly. They’d be happier spending more time at school.
We’re on holiday now and I was so looking forward to it and they’ve been awful to me and each other.
I splashed the girls with a bit of cold water after swimming, having a bit of fun, and my eldest was so vengeful and sinister towards me.
One of my younger ones is trying to kill himself by holding his breath because I scolded him for being disrespectful.
I’ve been lying awake for hours just crying, dreading day two of my long awaited family getaway.
I don’t even know what I expect anyone to say. I just want my happy children back.