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Sharing salary with children/teens?

20 replies

Ponderingwindow · 21/02/2023 00:07

How specific do you get with sharing your own salary information with your older child or teen?

we have always been reticent to get too specific and I’m not sure if that is the right approach.

we are lucky to be a well-off household so we aren’t facing an issue of protecting a child from facing the prospect of worrying about the bills being paid.

does there come a point where letting the kids see the details of the budget help prepare them for the real world, or is a description enough?

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LemonSwan · 21/02/2023 00:14

Hmm difficult. What’s in there head? When I was younger I imagined I would be on a 100k by proper adulthood. Seemed a nice round number and still the aim tbh even though many miles away 🤣

And I say so because what’s in there head is relevant. If your number is less what does that mean? If it’s higher what does that mean?

And does it even matter - because where they choose to live will likely have a much bigger bearing on their comfortable levels than their salary (ie. central London or north)

It’s an interesting question.

blueshoes · 21/02/2023 00:21

Never tell your teens your salary because they will go and blurt it to their friends and it will get back to their parents.

I have to say my son (16) looks interested (quite unlike him) when I am doing online banking. I think he is checking out my bank balance and planning my untimely demise, so he can takeover our house and have endless parties.

Ireallydohope · 21/02/2023 00:27

No I definitely wouldn't

My DDad stupidly showed my DS his monthly company pension which is very high

My DS was Shock and is now totally committed to his studies so he gets the best grade's possible to get into the best Uni possible to make a similar amount

DDad went to Cambridge so the world was his oyster after that

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greenspaces4peace · 21/02/2023 00:36

i think it's helpful, we were certainly open with our trio. annually at tax time when all the financial stuff gets tallied and submitted: earnings/taxes paid/charity donations etc.
we also kept track of expenses and would discuss monthly electric use or total amount spent on vehicles (insurance and maintenance).
i find it surprising on mn (when couples are divorcing) how the pension gets discussed, for example is that the estimated value at 65 or the current amount and the op often don't know. some don't even know if they have life insurance via work or on the mortgage...
kids need to learn this stuff somewhere and it shouldn't be day one on the job with the hr staff who themselves may not be fully aware.

Americansmoothy · 21/02/2023 01:50

@Ponderingwindow I wouldn’t start with salary but depending on the age of the children I would be teaching them about finances including family & personal budgeting, expenditure, savings&investments, banking, mortgages etc.

Ideally start to give them a monthly allowance and teach them how to budget and save.

Oblomov23 · 21/02/2023 02:43

We give a rough figure. Both teens started talking about people earning high salaries, how easy they thought they themselves would get you earn a high salary, and we needed to point out that the uk norm was a lot lower than that.

Oblomov23 · 21/02/2023 02:49

Even looking it up now the figures vary. £27.7, £25.9, £23.7 to £29.5, £29.6, £31.4, £38.1.

Median £33k, £31k.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 21/02/2023 02:57

Use industry averages if you feel the need to give them details.

Ask them what job they would like in the future and how much it pays. Then figure out what experience, education and training it requires. And then walk them through budgeting on that figure.

HerRoyalNotness · 21/02/2023 03:11

My middle son is very curious and my H doesn’t tell him, just. We have enough to pay the bills and have some treats.

but I think it’s important for them to know so he knows my hourly rate and calculates in how many hours I work what I earn. We talk about taxes and pensions and what my salary is for.

this gives them idea if you complete a certain education and take on a certain job then this is what you can expect to earn vs what life costs

SaltnPeppaPig · 21/02/2023 03:57

I really don't get the reticence about discussing salaries in general but refusing to tell your children seems especially bizarre.

Orangetapemeasure · 21/02/2023 05:28

@blueshoes Never tell your teens your salary because they will go and blurt it to their friends and it will get back to their parents
this is what I’d assume. Both our primary school aged children have asked 😯. I’m public sector, so in time they’ll be able to look up what I earn anyway. They are at a private school……so lifestyles are not at all representative of the national average.

Emptycrackedcup · 21/02/2023 05:41

I wouldn't, if it's a reasonable amount they'll think THEY are rich! And they'll be clueless in terms of what it takes to earn that much and expenses etc.

SpiritedSneeze · 21/02/2023 05:47

My daughter knows what I earn- she had to know because I've been teaching her budgeting and she helps make budgets each month with me.
Plus I'm on a pay band that you can google so she could look it up if if she cared.

Gwen82 · 21/02/2023 05:49

Ireallydohope · 21/02/2023 00:27

No I definitely wouldn't

My DDad stupidly showed my DS his monthly company pension which is very high

My DS was Shock and is now totally committed to his studies so he gets the best grade's possible to get into the best Uni possible to make a similar amount

DDad went to Cambridge so the world was his oyster after that

I’m confused by your post

Your father inspiring your son To study hard is a bad thing?

AnotherRoadsideAttraction · 21/02/2023 05:52

That post confused me, too. I would think you’d be happy that your DDad has inspired your son @Ireallydohope!

Magnoliamarigold · 21/02/2023 05:52

blueshoes · 21/02/2023 00:21

Never tell your teens your salary because they will go and blurt it to their friends and it will get back to their parents.

I have to say my son (16) looks interested (quite unlike him) when I am doing online banking. I think he is checking out my bank balance and planning my untimely demise, so he can takeover our house and have endless parties.

😂😂😂😂

Gwen82 · 21/02/2023 05:52

I never knew what my very wealthy father earned. I was spoilt rotten.

I studied hard, 5 years of professional exams and now a single parent very financially comfortable and astute with finances.

I won’t tell my children. They know we are comfortable, they go to private schools and they know they are privileged but they are also aware that I will often by second hand school sports kit for them and also that I will spend hours shopping around for the best holiday deal within our budget etc etc.

rexythedinosaur · 21/02/2023 05:57

SaltnPeppaPig · 21/02/2023 03:57

I really don't get the reticence about discussing salaries in general but refusing to tell your children seems especially bizarre.

My parents never told me anything about how much money was coming in and I still don't know to this day, only a very rough/ ballpark figure.

I obviously knew we were 'OK' as we had enough food, clothes, treats, decent house etc, but beyond that I had no idea whether we were wealthy or normal.

It didn't affect my ability to budget or manage my money in any way, it's perfectly possible to talk to your children about that without disclosing your salary, and I think if I had known a figure it wouldn't have added anything at all really.

Goatinthegarden · 21/02/2023 06:06

I teach upper primary and as part of financial education, we look at ‘average salaries’ for different professions. We look at the cost of everything; the local housing market; rent/mortgages; council tax; bills, etc.

We make pretend families, give them incomes and create a spreadsheet of the their possible income/outgoings. We decide what we have to pay for and emergencies that we might need to put money aside for. We look at the cost of the things they desire, family holidays, trips to the cinema, etc. and see if we can afford them in our budgets.

Through our pretend families, we discuss things like larger families needing more resources, double and single incomes, when families split up they usually split resources and need an additional home, what happens in families with low/no income, how much minimum wage is, what your options are if you are short of money, how loans and credit cards work and what the benefits/dangers are of them.

I’ve done something similar with younger children, giving them each an amount of Monopoly money as a ‘salary’. I take most of it away to cover bills and then we look at what we have left and what we might like to do with it (spend/save,etc).

You don’t necessarily need to disclose what you earn to your kids, but I think children need to develop a better understanding of money, where it comes from and where it goes. I’d never even heard of council tax until I was 17 and living in my student flat…

TimeForMeToF1y · 21/02/2023 06:17

I don't know to this day what my parents earned and it has had no impact at all on my ability to budget and manage my own finances. I can't see why I would need to know to understand the concept

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