End of our tethers

[Becproc23]

Our DS is almost 4 weeks old and for the last few nights, just starts crying at around 10pm. Last night, we didn’t get to sleep until 3am because of the crying and fidgeting. It’s more difficult for my DH as he is now back at work, so needs the sleep.
We literally don’t know what to do. We try changing his nappy, feeding him, cuddling him, hold him close, playing music….
Is there anything anyone can recommend? I’ve heard of Infacol for colic - would something like this be any good?

Does anything stop him crying?
They don't know might from day at that age. Can you take turns to care for him do one of you can deep for a couple of hours and the other is downstairs feeding/ rocking/ winding him?

You’re going to have to divide and conquer. One of you sleeps then you swap. He will grow out of it.

Wind from poor latch? Allergies or tongue tie?

If can just be a stage they go through - horrible them being upset though. Have a look at purple crying website.

We tried everything.....infacol the walking around the changing,feeding etc all I can promise is they do grow out of it x

Car drives, walks in pram and baby swing helped sometimes!

This will be no comfort . In my experience it's what they do. 4th trimester and all that. We had one that screamed for what felt like 24 hrs a day. We staggered our sleeping pattern. So DP and I weren't awake at the same time. We'd aim for four hours consecutive sleep in a 24hr period. When it felt like we were going to have a total breakdown somehow like a miracle we'd get 6hrs in a row and it felt like we'd been on a spa break. DC had to be worn/held as well all the time. At about 6 months old we started co sleeping which was okay but DC was a fidget. King-size bed helped! Then there was the years of 5.30am wake-ups.

I don't think there is an easy answer, you either get one that is no trouble at all one that is a grizler..

Unfortunately at that age they don't know day from night. I used to stick mine in the pram and push them forwards & backwards till they fell asleep.

Have you tried a dummy if not already using? When my boy was little we tried coping without, but when the nighttime cries came, it worked a dream!

This sounds like Reflux - my DD had it and it's bloody painful for them.
Try rolling up a cloth/small blanket or pillowcase and placing it under the top of the mattress, just to raise him up a tiny bit. Even better if you have a foam wedge (yes, they're perfectly safe!) You could also try just raising his Moses basket/crib a couple of inches at the head end. What it does is stops them from being 100% horizontal and eases the reflux.

Also, after a feed keep him upright for 40 mins at least. I know it's a pain but if it is reflux then that will help massively.
I would also see your GP as they can prescribe things to help too. It also may not be reflux. It just sounds a lot like how DD was with her 'silent reflux' ie: no throwing up, just a LOT of burning pain in her throat

This crying only seems to happen during the night. We can feed him during the day and he can fall asleep on me afterwards no problem. He used to be able to feed and then sleep during the night each time we had to get him up, but that has now stopped and he just wants to cry throughout the night instead.

Have you tried swaddling him? My niece just went through this phase and it was awful. We got some proper swaddle blankets and wrapped her like a burrito, with Ewan the sheep (life saver). She slept no problem!

Sounds like colic – which isn’t gas! Bloody annoys me when people say colic meaning gas, as if there’s a cure if you wind them enough or give them infacol or gripe water. When in reality the cure is: time. They grow out of it but until then it’s just powering through.

Things that did help monstrous cryer DD:

Standing by the shower, on very loud – the noise and the motion mesmerised her into shutting up
White noise, VERY loud
Swaddling
Walking back and forth with her on our shoulders, high up
Tiger in the tree hold

It’s OK to wear earplugs while comforting them, or headphones.

I wouldn't assume that your baby will just grow out of this if it continues on longer than a couple of weeks - if a baby cries this much, they are telling you something. If it continues, ask the gp about potential cows milk protein allergy - a few friends had babies with this and it's surprisingly common. Crying late evening into the early hours was a common symptom with all of them.

Fingers crossed it's not that and just a short lived phase though!

You’re a star! I did this and it calmed him down so much. Did your niece sleep in this swaddle through the night?

My DD4 had colic from about 6 weeks to 13 weeks, and no amount of infacol and other stuff worked. Like another poster, I don't think it is due to "gas" - I am not convinced it is anything to do with their intake either, although allergies are possible, I think it is to do with their nervous system, but I am no expert (he was born at 37 weeks, 9lbs). Cried for more than 5 hours in every 24 (on and off) no real pattern but worse in the evenings, had 3 others before him, one with reflux and nothing so bad. What helped (other than standing with him in your arms and rocking him) was white noise (you can get a CD) and we had a swing thing that seemed to help for a while. We also used a newborn type dummy (he could not cope with the bigger sort), which helped. Try and do staggered sleeping, just so you can get some sleep. It's really hard, but it does end. xx

I wouldn't play music, switch to thunderstorm sounds or more of a white noise.

@Becproc23 We swaddled our son from about 4 weeks until 4.5 months old and it worked everytime overnight and after feeds in the day for longer naps. He's now in his own room in a sleeping bag as he's showing signs of beginning to want to roll over, but swaddling for us really helped!

Its perfectly safe to sleep in the swaddle through the night, until they can fully turn themselves over! So pleased it helped you! If you could get Ewan I would recommend too, the new version has a "womb noise effect", its incredible!

If you have worries, the tommy tippee swaddle gro bag helped reassure my sister in law. The baby still gets swaddled but there is no loose fabric, and as baby grows and learns to roll you can open the arm slots.

www.boots.com/tommee-tippee-baby-sleep-bag-for-newborns-the-original%E2%80%AFgrobag-swaddle-bag-0-3m-1-0-tog-oatmeal-marl-star-10306492?CAWELAID=620000410000680261&cm_mmc=bmm-buk-bing-ppc--PLAs--Catch_All-_-UK_Smart_Shopping_Catch_All&gclid=86a40f80563d141a0d4b6c73637d814e&gclsrc=3p.ds&msclkid=86a40f80563d141a0d4b6c73637d814e&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=UK_Smart_Shopping_Catch_All&utm_term=4578366468564173&utm_content=Catch_All

Thank you so much for the link. The advice you gave last night was so helpful :)

Why are you both awake and trying to deal with the situation at the same time?! That’s madness!

You need to take shifts, so either separate nights or 7pm - 1am and 1am - 7am.

Definitely do the shift pattern Overwise you will never sleep ! Is baby sleeping in cot on their back? Is it the same sleep position in the day?

You're more than welcome :) good luck tonight! Fingers crossed for you's x

Yes DS sleeps in a moses basket on his back. When he sleeps during the day, if he isn’t sleeping on me, he sleeps in the same Moses basket (on his back) that he is in during the night. We move it around the house with us.

Make sure you burp him well. Loud white noise (good baby calming ones on Spotify). Bounce on an exercise ball.

It won't last forever but it's really hard I know. Good luck.

I found infacol useless - except for the bottle which I sterilised and filled with gripe water which you could use from 4 weeks.
We had crying every evening until midnight/1 am. With hindsight I should've had an afternoon nap to help with milk production as lack of sleep meant that I was producing more of the sugary thinner milk which can cause tummy ache.