When did you leave your exclusively breastfed baby for the first time?

[Peebleneeb]

Hi! When did you leave your exclusively breastfed baby for the first time? Really need advice on my situ and looking for general consensus.

My baby is 8 months old (corrected age as was born 3 months premature so coming up to actual age of 1) and I’ve been pumping/breastfeeding for nearly a year. Baby is growing well and hitting all her milestones for her corrected age as she should and doctors are super happy with her. It’s been a super super traumatic year as I’m sure many of you can imagine as we were in 3 different hospitals for 3 months with her.

My daughter used to take a bottle but got bottle aversion at around 4 months due to us often putting her multivitamin drops in a bottle with milk once a day (she hates the drops), and so since then she’s been EBF. She’s been weaning for the last 2 months and is on 3 meals a day and eats well. She mostly has purrees and a few finger foods plus we offer water in a sippy cup (doidy) or sippy bottle (nuk) which she does drink but only maybe 10ml per meal. She refuses normal bottles of milk and has (only just) started accepting small amounts of milk from sippy bottle but not enough for me to feel confident to leave her with daddy for more than 2 hours. She loves boob and feeds to sleep for her 2/3 naps a day and at bedtime and then probably around 2-3 times overnight. I am desperate to have some me time… even just 3 hours out the house alone would be amazing… or a lie in… but have always and will always put her first.

However, I booked tickets when she was taking bottles to see my favourite pop artist in concert (biggest tour they’ve done and first in the UK) in March plus a booked one night at a hotel. It’s coming up and is a 3 hour train ride from where we are so if I went in total I’d be away from my daughter for 22 hours. Husband is happy to stay home with her and ride it out until I’m back and is saying I should go because I’ve not done anything for me in ages and deserve some fun but I am riddled with guilt over the thought of going if she might be hungry or upset! The only other option (other than not go to the concert which I’m very seriously considering even though I’ll be gutted) is to have them travel with us and stay in the hotel but I feel that’s equally unfair/stressful on them as puts her in a strange place with two long journeys there and back too.

Help! What would you do?

Thank you ❤️

Hey! Well done on getting this far with bf! I’m 18 months into breastfeeding & love it.

I was in the same boat leaving my little one for the first time. Honestly couldn’t have imagined it until around 8-9 months and she was eating a little. I was so anxious and worried. And of course like all the mums told me - she was absolutely fine!! She didn’t really fuss on expressed milk from a bottle, she had food & water and little top ups of milk from a cup. She slept fine, was happy in herself and well - she didn’t notice I was gone really! When I got back - back to normal boobing. Same as now - when I’m there she wants milk all day and when I’m not she’s fine!

Go enjoy your night out!! You deserve it x

Thank you so much for the reply. It is my first post on mumsnet because I wanted advice from other mamas, as I haven’t any mum friends who breastfeed/fed. Maybe you are right. I am considering doing a trial run and going out for the day next weekend to see how she copes with just daddy (will pump to keep supply up ofc) as I think this would reassure me. Mum guilt is horrible. I suppose I’m just imagining her screaming in hunger and sadness with my husband panicking while I’m partying and it makes me feel like a terrible mum that I’m even considering it! Your reply helped a lot. Thank you xx

@Mumalli not sure if I replied correctly lol! New here but that second comment was in reply to you ☺️ thank you x

Honestly I was the same! I joined some breastfeeding advice and support groups on Facebook and was looking for stories and every reply said ‘I felt the same and my baby was fine’. I was like absolutely not my baby she will be devastated without boob!! And yep, she was fine 🤣❤️

I started little bits first, leaving her when I knew it was her nap time and she would be asleep in the car or the pram and she would wake up with family and tend to be happy. Then just built it up. But my first overnight she was absolutely fine, probably slept better than me around tbh!

Have a look at the fb groups, they really helped me. Breastfeeding yummy mummies is another I think (cringe title but it’s very good advice)

I get the mum guilt thing, but also you have you practice self care & have some you time too! You deserve it, you’re EBF your baby! ❤️

At a similar age to yours, and she was totally fine and barely noticed I was gone. Try to re-imagine the mum guilt if you can, it would be worse for her for you to give up your life and everything you love doing. I didn't want DD growing up with that sort of example of what a mother 'should' be. She sees both me and DH enjoying time as a family, time alone, and time with our friends.

@Mumalli honestly that is so reassuring! I’m so glad I posted now. I will defo join the cringe Facebook group 🤣 love it 🥲❤️ thank you so much! I’ll try doing similar to what you did for the next 3 weeks leading up to it! Xx

@Camillialane thank you for replying! Really helps to know others have done so and baby was OK! You’re so right. I really haven’t done anything for me in the last year at all. The artist I’m going to see is also one who sings all my daughters favourite songs (she falls asleep instantly when I sing them versus songs from other artists) so I like to think I could tell her about the concert when she’s older and she’d think I was a cool mum 🤣🤣 (as if I’m sure but we can dream)! X

With my first dc I hadn't expected to get pg first month of trying and I had a holiday booked with my Gran. It turned out to be when dd1 was 5 months old, and I was away for 8 days!! I got very, very, focused on expressing and left enough milk in 8oz bags to feed her the whole time I was gone. This was back when weaning was 4 months (she's 23 now) and she was on 3 meals a day plus bottles. She'd never had a bottle until I left but took them fine. Dh took the week off work to look after her, and it was great for their relationship and bond. I pumped and dumped while I was gone and then went on to feed her until she was 12 months.

So leaving them is do-able! I found it gut wrenching leaving her, but my Gran is gone now and I'll always treasure that time we had together.

@weegiemum we have tried giving her a bottle when I’ve been out the house and she refuses so I’m not sure it’ll be so simple at 8 months old but your message gives me hope! Sounds like you made the right call ❤️ thank you for replying x

Mine were over 1 before I left them for a few hours. Overnight 3+ and weaned. I know it's an unpopular opinion on here but I would resell the concert ticket and not go. Or I would take the option of bringing baby and husband along and make a trip of it for all of you.

Still breastfeeding at 19 months- I haven't been able to leave her over night at all yet. Have been able to go out for a few hours in the evening with partner if my mum comes over to watch her.

I am struggling a little with this though; but she never took to a bottle/straw/cup to feed with milk. She feeds to sleep every night and every nap.

I ended up in hospital when DD1 was 7 months (broken knee) so BFing was disrupted for a few days (happened not just on demand). DD1 completely refused bottles but managed fine and breastfed util 17 months when it dried up in pregnancy.

@PuttingDownRoots sounds horrid- sorry you had to go through that. It’s great to know she managed OK even though she refused bottles too. Can I ask how long you weren’t able to breastfeed for? And did your little one rely on being fed to sleep? Thank you for replying ☺️

I left my ebf babies overnight with GPs from 6 weeks old. (Second child was as 6 weeks prem)

Expressing worked for me and both were fine with bottles of ebm.

DC1 I left for about 8 hours in the day at 5 months. Not overnight till about 20 months although was no longer bf them, it just didn't really come up.

DC2 never had a bottle so not sure about in the day. Overnight about 18 months as well as that was when first opportunity presented itself.

6 months the first time but just an hour to get my hair cut. DD is 19 months now and have yet to leave her overnight anywhere