MUM GUILT- kind words needed.

[toastedscone]

I am sitting riddled without anxiety that I'm doing something wrong?

A whopping case of comparison and mum guilt!

My DD1 is 5.5 months old. I bf for the first 4 months and then switched to formula for a few reasons including back to work & also she wasn't getting full, it seemed by just breast.

Tonight my baby went into her own room because she is becoming more aware and I wanted to do it before she's too aware and becomes anxious/ upset about it.

Now I'm reading online about people breastfeeding/ bedsharing until 2 years of age.

Have I wasted precious bonding time?!

I am so sad that the newborn days are over and suddenly feeling like maybe I should have hung on to those precious times for longer. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'm looking for words of support. Reminders to make me feel better.

Any words much appreciated 💗💗

Each parent does things their own way, based on what they feel is best and the realities of their life. The transitions (to their own room, stopping bfing etc.) are REALLY hard and emotionally charged, but in a few weeks you'll feel better especially as you'll be realising you made those changes for a reason. My DD was in her own room at 5 mos, she slept sooo much better. Once they become toddlers they are wild little love machines obsessed with you and this will all be a distant memory (toddlers have their own challenges....).

I didn't breastfeed any of our 3 DC. They all were in their own rooms by 5 months. They are all happy, loving children. You've done the right things for your child.

You have to what is right for you and your family.

I personally will continue to co-sleep and BF because when I return to work when she is 9m, I want that extra catch up time together, and they're not this little for very young. My eldest two (high schoolers) used to co-sleep when they were little, however they're in their own rooms now of course, and have been for a while. Feels like the time we co-slept was a life time ago!

You are allowed to change your mind how you parent, nothing is set! So if you find during sleep regression you want her back in with you, you can, equally you can comfort her in her room.

And yes, they're are many ways to bond other than BF & co-sleeping, lots of cuddles, stories, singing, smothering in kisses, snuggled up for cartoons, finger painting etc :)

I put mine in their own room at 5 months. It's all good. There's no magic switch 4 weeks later, it's just guidelines

I only managed to breastfeed for 2 months. My supply never really came in properly and we always had to top up with formula.

After 8 weeks one night when she was crying cos she was still hungry and I was crying cos I was exhausted my DH went and got a full tin of formula and we never looked back. Although I did panic thinking she would end up with allergies or intolerance because I hadn't breast fed enough. However she seemed so much happier and contented

So my HV told me. Fed is best.

She was in her own room from 6 months.

She's now 11, has always hit every milestone, is a normal stropy pre teen with no intolerances and allergies thank god.

When your baby is so little, these milestones feel huge and like time is rushing past. As they get older, you realise they are still little for much longer! My youngest is 4 and still my 'baby' in many ways. Plus I am 100% a better mum when I have space at night time! (Said from the POV of someone who co-slept until 9m because DS has a poor sleeper).

Breastfeeding for any amount of time is amazing, you’ve smashed the statistics for this. There are plenty of people who cannot breastfeed and don’t co sleep and their bond with their child is so strong.

Parenting is so much more than the pregnancy, the birth, breast/bottle co sleep/swaddle/cot. The bond is established over months and years of parenting, being there when they’re at their worst, and remembering they’re loved. (I’m doing the latter at the mo’ and stressed endlessly about the former at the time).

Feeding and sleeping needs to work for the family unit, so that everyone can function and work. Do what you need to do, cuddle your baby, and remember that this ride lasts years. Xxx

I breastfed and coslept with mine till 2+

I just felt mum guilt about a whole load of other things 🤷‍♀️

There were a few points where I felt woefully inadequate about various things. More than a few points actually, loads.

It really was incredibly freeing when I stopped comparing and just stopped giving a fck in general really.

You do the best you can with what you've got, you do what you think is best and that's all you can do. The fact you are worrying about it shows how much you care.

You bf for 4 months - great job.

You're back at work with a young child - I've been there, its hard, well done.

Own room at 5.5months - SIDS guidelines are 6 months, you might feel better about your decision if you wait a few weeks. But other than that, not a problem.

Cosleeping js great for some people and other peoples idea of hell. Just find what works for you, and don't waste your energy on comparing.

Congrats on your baby