My 6 year old has started to steal

[Beigenoodle]

Exactly that-he has stolen from a shop, I’d previously caught him and we returned the item to the shop and apologised but this evening I’ve just found something else he stole a few days ago.

what do I do? Talk me down from the ledge please-I’m not wanting this minimised nor do I want to be told the police will be at my door I’m looking for good advice about how to handle this.

context-youngest child of 3, recently separated home life

When you found the stuff before, did you take it back or did he? When I was around that age I pinched a packet of hairbands from the toyshop. When my mum found them she made ME take them back and apologise to the manager. I nearly died of shame and never swiped anything again.

When you say recently separated home life, do you mean you and his dad have just separated?

Has he (DS) moved house or anything as well?

What does he say when you ask him?

Behaviour is communication, as they say, so I guess it’s just about trying to figure out what he’s telling you through this.

Is he stealing things he wants that you won't let him have or just completely random items? What does he say when you confront him about it? Could any of the older children be daring him to do it or coercing him into it? Is he going to the shops by himself or is he doing it while you are present?

Thanks for your replies.
I sincerely doubt older children are encouraging the theft-they’ve actually been frightened and cross that this has happened.
one even whispered I should not let him out with clothes with pockets although im
mot discussing the issue with them at the moment. Awaiting a response from the father…not sure what his reply will be could be anything from blaming me to goodness knows what so will see what he says…
he has stolen random things and says he needed them (football cards and a pen-i previously found a trinket of mine in his bag and he attempted to steal candy from the cinema but I saw him holding it) I don’t think he is deprived of anything-pens we have a million at home and the football cards he had saved and paid for his own previously I just can’t quite get my head round this

He is always with us in any shop and yes we have moved house a considerable distance-new school etc
first time I realised he had stolen the cards we were still in the shopping complex so marched straight back to the shop and I told him to apologise however the shop assistant was so smiley and kind of laughed it off as I went to pay (he had torn the envelope of the cards) but I maintained that it was not ok and we as a family do not steal. I then kept the cards in my purse and didn’t mention it again that day (and stopped my eldest talking about it too-to be honest I was in shock)

Does he understand that taking things that aren't his is wrong? Does he know that if he wants something he can ask you about it so you can decide if you might buy him it or not?

I'd be very clear when going into a shop that you're there to buy xyz items and nothing else. Or, give him a little bit of change and let him buy something small now and again. Or help him choose something that costs £x or less.

Poor little thing!

I’ve known a child take to sudden theft at home at that age after they were taught about money at school. That was an interesting Summer … They very quickly realised their miserly ways were more trouble than pleasure. But there were no other issues and it only lasted a few weeks.

With your son it’s more complicated as he’s dealing with upheaval. I wondered if he was trying to impress his new classmates? Alternatively it may simply be that he feels powerless in every other aspect of his life and this is something where he’s ‘in control’.

Either way, it’s unlikely to persist for long. Don’t let anyone be too hard on him.

Don’t want to minimise this as you said but just to share I also remember stealing at this age maybe five times, I never got caught by a shop but I’m certain my dad knew. He told me it was wrong but acted like he didn’t know as such and hadn’t said anything till the last time I did it, which was the first time he knew I believe. but the guilt nearly killed me!!! I remember him telling me how ashamed he would be if I ever did such a thing. It did work on me but I know some kids might need a harsher punishment as such.Just sharing because I did turn out fine, and like I said I never did it again🤷🏼‍♀️