Baby loss triggers

[Littlelighthouse]

Just looking for some advice or maybe others who have been through something similar.
My little girl is 6 months old. She has just developed her first illness as she woke up this morning with a high temperature (38.2-38.7), a bit of a cough and a runny nose. We took her to the doctor and he said her throat looks a bit red and swollen, so we've been told to give nurofen and calpol to keep the temperature down and the pain away. It's been working, and her temperature has stayed down.
But I am a complete nervous wreck. She is our rainbow baby as we lost our son at 33 weeks of pregnancy in 2021. We then lost a nephew 2 days before DD was born last year, and he was 4 weeks old. Sadly, we know all too much about baby loss, and attending the funerals of two babies in two years really does impact your mental health.
I have had counselling to work through the loss of my son, and I'm currently on a waiting list for more, but seeing my daughter with this illness has completely thrown me. I've coped well all day, as she's obviously needed me to be 'strong mummy', but now she's asleep I've just broken down. I'm terrified of losing her. All I keep picturing is losing her and keep getting images of my son's funeral in my head.
I know that she will get poorly and we can't wrap her in cotton wool, but I just wondered if anyone who has been through something similar might have advice on how you deal with these triggers? Or even any positive stories of poorly babies.
Thank you for any help xx

I'm really sorry you've experienced so much loss. I can't offer much advice other than your feelings sound completely understandable given everything that has happened, and that you are definitely doing the right thing accessing professional support. I would suggest perhaps contacting your HV and/or GP to request an urgent referral for support again now? As a new mum you should be able to access this as a priority.

Hi, I am so sorry for the loss of your son and nephew. Your feelings are valid and come from the devastating trauma you have experienced. My first child was stillborn at full term and as you say, once you enter the world of baby loss, you know so much about the terrible things which can happen. I can completely relate to the fears and have these in relation to my second baby too. It's good that you are on the list for more counselling and wonder if it might be worth contacting your GP or whoever this is from to ask how long the wait will be, also would make your HV aware if they aren't already. Do your area have a perinatal midwifery support? I have regular counselling and it is so important in helping me to find strategies to live alongside the feelings and deal with the triggers which are often so unexpected. All the very best.