Help! My toddler is a hooligan!

[Satine]

Help! At our weekly mother & toddler session this morning, all my 26 month old son did was hit other children, shout and cry. This happens more and more now and telling him off in a strict voice, taking him out of the room to tell him firmly that his behaviour is wrong and even sitting him on his own in a corner doesn't stop it. Of course the other children there are angels by comparison! In other situations he's usually ok, bar the odd tantrum. It is a phase? Jealousy of his 6 month old sister? Should I ignore it and wait for it to pass or should I stay at home in the interests of the other toddlers?! Anyone else going through this?!

DS is only 15 mos. but a friend's ds started doing similar antics about that age. Would it help to stay home one week and explain to him that he couldn't go unless he played nice?

I think it's a phase. DD started that kind of behaviour at 18 months!!! If she does it now, nearly 3 yo, then I just tell her we won't go again if she keeps doing it... she usually stops in her tracks... then again her reasoning has improved lately so it's easier to 'negotiate' with her.

Poor you Satine, my ds was just the same Sending you both big hugs. It sounds as if you are doing the right things - time out is generally successful if you use it consistently and over time. The only thing I can suggest is that you try a positive form of discipline. Perhaps you can do a sticker chart and he gets one sticker for every 5 minutes that he behaves well at the toddler group and a treat on the way home if he does well. This visual sign of how well they are doing is a good way of encouraging positive behaviour. It may just be a phase but I dont think the other parents will thank you if you ignore it when he hits other children - you could try ignoring the screaming though and see if that makes a difference. I completely understand what you mean about other children seeming like angels - my ds is always the one playing up. What do the other parents do? Are they judgmental or supportive? It may be that because he is yours that you are naturally sensitive about what the other parents think about his behavior when they may not be overly concerned at all.

I also explained to my ds that if he continued to hit other children etc that I would take him home - and on a couple of occassions I actually had to do this. He soon learned that if he kept up the aggression he would lose out.

Thanks for all your support! The other mums are actually supportive but DS's behaviour can be disruptive (and makes the other children cry, which makes me feel awful!) and I don't want him to think that it is ok. I do try to be as positive as I can (praising him when he is good) and some weeks he's fine but lately the bad weeks seem more and more frequent! The star chart is a good idea, and at least time out removes him from the immediate situation and means I don't have to spend the morning barking "Freddie! Freddie!" across the room like a demented sergeant major.

Saw the baby whisperer deal with this on discovery, by grabbing the child as soon as they hit someone and sitting down with them wherever they were until they'd calmed down, realised via parent explaining that they'd done wrong, and then once calm, got them to apologise to the battered victim, the child in question stopped their behaviour in about two weeks. Can't say as I've had to attempt practise yet tho, as dd too young (my time will come!)