12 week old - starting a bedtime routine

[Mayflower193]

Hi!

My 12 week old has started sleeping through from 11:30pm until 7am which is fantastic but I’m wondering how I introduce a bedtime routine so that he starts going up to bed at 7pm.

I know he won’t just be able to sleep from 7 til 7 straight away but can anyone give me an idea of a good routine that has worked for them? I’m presuming we will still need to feed him at 11pm as usual but at least he will have been in bed for a little while before that.
We just want to be able to have some time to ourselves in the evenings and also ensure LO is getting enough sleep and is starting to get used to going to bed earlier.

According to safe sleep guidelines he should still be sleeping in the same room as you until he's 6 months old. Baby monitors are not a substitute for sleeping in the same room as a parent.

We did bath, bottle, story for bed at 6pm from pretty much birth, there was one bottle in the night till 8 weeks then it was 6pm to 6am straight

We did a bath, lavender baby bath lotion, into pjs then a sleepy feed on our bed with the lights low. Into their crib, left them to it. Our bedroom was off the living room, and we would keep the door open and the TV at normal volume, but it worked for us and dc to do this from about 10weeks.

Daytime sleeps were always in the living room, lights on etc til 6mo. And when I went to bed at 10.30 I'd do a sleepy feed - wouldn't wake them up just lift and feed. They dropped the 2/3am feed first this way.

I’m aware he should be sleeping in the same room at night which he will be until he’s 6 months old but we don’t want him to be downstairs until 11pm every night as we have the tv/lights on which wake him…

That’s great, thank you! This sounds like what we had in mind. I would like to do bath, feed and then put him down (baby monitor on) and then aim to do a dream feed at 10:30/11pm before we go to sleep 😊

Thank you 😊

Its not at night OP, its every sleep - he has to be in the same room as you. To be honest, I wouldn't worry too much about a bedtime routine at 12 weeks, you're likely to hit the 4 month sleep regression soon, you have an incredible sleeper for his age I'd just enjoy it. If you want to, you could do bath/quiet play, get him changed, put him in a Moses basket then do a feed and relocate him upstairs when you're going to bed at 11.

At that age (and for many months after because she was a terrible sleeper!) I just went to bed with my eldest, and watched tv with headphones on or similar. With my second, she slept in a Moses basket and we just kept the lights fairly low and the tv fairly quiet and had a white noise machine on low near her till we were ready to go upstairs. It worked pretty well.

Babies are also supposed to sleep feet to foot, on their backs, in a separate bed to their parents. But MN is a massive advocate of ignoring that rule and "safely" Co sleeping is often spouted as an acceptable way to put your baby to bed.

Sadly babies don’t do what you would like. You’ll be hitting the 4 month sleep regression soon and any concept of “an evening” will go out the window.

I’m not sure your need for “an evening” trumps baby’s needs for safety and security, but crack on.

(Never had a bedtime routine for DD, and she’s 650 weeks old now.)

😂Your response is pretty rude to a new parent asking for advice.
I know plenty of people who give their baby a bedtime routine and regularly check on the baby as well as having a monitor.
Sorry for wanting to have some time to myself after being a full time mum all day every day. We can’t all be perfect parents 100% of the time but if you are then you have a very lucky 650 week old.

And if the 4m sleep regression does hit, at least you've had a month of evenings in the bank.

Thank you! It’s nice to have a response where I’m not being judged for wanting a bit of time to myself!

We just found that gradually they get tireder and tireder due to less naps.
My daughter is 5 months old and she is currently on
8am bottle
9.45nap nap
12pm bottle
2.00pm nap
4pm bottle
By 7pm she's absolutely knackered so we give her the bottle about 7-15 and she sleeps till 7am.
She's been in her own room for 3 weeks which some people won't agree with but it works for us.
She might have an extra hour sleep somewhere in there if we are in the pram or the car, no naps after 5pm ideally for a 7.30 bed time.

If everybody parented perfectly, I'd understand the odd bit of criticism for those that don't. But literally none of us do. People in glass houses etc.

Mine sits with us for dinners then bath, PJs, read story and feed. In the bedroom with door open (tiny house). They need their own space to sleep. We don’t keep particularly quiet though as that’s making a rod for your back!

It’s just reality.

My DH worked away 5.5 days a week till DD was 18 months old. No family within thousands of miles, so I really was the full time mum all day every day. Seems pretty selfish to me to be ignoring safety guidelines to sit and watch eastenders but you do you.

We did bath bottle bed at 7 upstairs. We woke for a dream feed at 10pm with low lights and no talking. They drank it while asleep then we put them back to bed no problems

What a nasty reply. Lots of babies do stick the routine as all of mine did. I was strict about bedtime at 7 because it was important to me to have some rest before I went to sleep. It's also important for your relationship with your partner. Yes we had the odd bad night bad but its definitely achievable. You come across as bitter and jealous to be honest. Why did you even bother to reply if you have nothing nice to add

We do milk / story / teeth / nappy / pjs / cuddles

Though didn't bother at 12 weeks tbh. We chucked him in the hall to sleep with the door open, so he was still "in the same room" but not really bothered by the light. We used the carrycot cot as a moses basket, and brought it + baby to our room when we went to bed. Usually he woke at some point and we transferred him to his cot after the feed.

You'll probably find over the next few months that bedtime will naturally creep forwards as baby gets bigger. At 12 weeks we were pretty much 10-11 pm, but by 6 mo it was in bed by around 8 or 9. It wasn't until we stopped BF on his birthday that bedtime was consistently 7-7:30

We did same as previous poster from a few weeks old. In our house, tired babies need to be in their cots in a dark quiet space. We woke for dream feed at 10-11 pm. This then stays the same minus dream feed until end of primary school! So if you want bedtime routine go for it. With my kids it lead to brilliant 7-7 sleepers who happily went down in their cots tired but not fast asleep. Each to their own.

I found with my two, once they got to the 6 month mark they were much more ready naturally for the 7pm bedtime. For now I would keep him downstairs until you go up. Just keep things abit quieter and calm, watching TV with the lamp on for example.

Wasn’t intended to be nasty. Trying to advocate for the baby in this.

I‘m baffled by how many people have babies and then expect them to fit in with some ideal that the baby is biologically unprepared for. Wouldnt be surprised if it’s a big part of the mental health crisis we’re now seeing.

We live lives so far removed from the optimum human life it must have an impact on the brain. Tiny babies being left on their own for hours so that adults can watch telly is surely part of that.

I didn’t have the opportunity to spend time with my husband or rest because he wasn’t here for more than 36 hours a week. Hence maybe being a bit more in tune with what baby needed, because I had to prioritise that.

This is such a sanctimonious reply.

where in my post did I say I was watching eastenders? 😂 How about finding time to have dinner with my husband, doing the laundry, tidying the house, getting things ready for my baby for the following day?

Ignoring safety guidelines would be if I put him upstairs and left him with no monitor or any ability to hear him which is not what I plan to do.

Also, just curious, how do you find time to polish your “mother of the year” award if you constantly have your baby stuck to you?

When my eldest was born we were in an apartment with open plan living - we used to pop the moses basket behind the couch - turn the lights off and used lamps - and had the tv/music on at a moderate volume - I was always taught by my mother not to tiptoe around babies!

My second we were in our house so I popped the moses basket in the dining area with one of the two dividing doors closed. We always had a camera monitor so I had peace of mind.

Yes they need to be with you that doesnt mean you have to be in a pitch dark room in silence - that is something we teach them - inside of us a noisy place.

I hope your little one remains a good sleeper - I was blessed with two great sleepers and appreciate that it is rare.