I'm really struggling with separation anxiety with my two-year-old.
I know often it's the other way round, but for me I am just really struggling being away from him.
To put in some context, when I was pregnant with him my husband walked out on us and I had to do my whole pregnancy on my own.
I went to the scans on my own, I gave birth on my own, I sat in neonatal in hospital on my own for a week, I drove him home from hospital. Don't get me wrong I've had great support from my mum who has been like a father figure to him, but I do feel very proud of what I've done in these early years.
Obviously now he's too he's getting older and deserves more independence. He does go to nursery, he also to see his dad on a weekly basis.
We had been living at my parents house but have just moved into our own place and because of that there is now more room for him to have his own room with his older sibling.
I'm so used to him being in the room with me. I'm so used to looking over And seeing him snoozing.
I am just finding it really hard. To add to this his dad has now asked to have him overnight which is something I will obviously agree to, but I'm just finding it so hard to deal with.
Before anybody attacks me for any of my comments, my separation anxiety doesn't mean he misses out on anybody. The sleeping arrangement was like that because of space and he's never stayed overnight with his dad because his dad hasn't wanted to.
His dad will often leave him out on things. For example he will pick our eldest up and take him out for the day in the holidays or to a party or most recently his own birthday celebration and not ask the younger one to join in. I think that this probably adds to a bit of bitterness for me, I very much feels like he clicks his fingers as to when he is ready to spend more time with him and I have to agree to it. Well I guess I know I don't have to agree to it but it is in the child's best interest that I do so I do.
The dad is fine looking after them. I have no safety concerns. I just think from my experience of having two children with him that he isn't really interested in the baby/early years stage. I said to everybody that when my youngest gets to X age he will probably step in which is exactly what's happened.
I've seen that as a positive though really. I've missed out on a lot, but I didn't miss out on those baby days. The best days of my life ♥️
I think because of the trauma that I went through when I was pregnant and when he was first born I'm just so defensive and protective over him and I'm just finding it so hard to move on from that.
Does anybody relate to any of this or have any advice?
I'm just feeling really heartbroken at the moment because I feel like I'm just losing parts of him ♥️