Should children be asking other children to take their clothes off??

[Lolpop1]

Hi,

There is a 7yo boy in my child's school who has now asked 4 children to remove their clothes in his presence (no adults have been in the room at the time).. the mum is aware of 2 of these occasions but there's doesn't seem to be any intervention ie children are still going to this boys house to play.

Is this normal? I don't think it is, and I feel it is a cause for concern, but I also don't want to to cause trouble for the family, but I also want to make sure something is done about this.

One boy was told if he didn't take his clothes off he was going to tell on him and the boy said he didn't want to be in trouble so he done it. I feel this is manipulative. Two of the other children were also younger than him, again I feel like he chose to do that cause there was more chance of them saying yes - which they did.

If its been happening at school then you involve the teacher and the Head.

If its happening in after school clubs then you involve the manager.

If its happening in the home then there are two things to do. Involve the parents AND refuse to let your child go to that home.

If it continues because everyone passes the buck then involve social services .

It would be highly unusual for 7 year olds to be left alone, particularly several times. Why is that happening?
If this is true, you need to mention to an adult so it can be followed up. Could be nothing, could be something.

Apologies, I've reread and realise it may be in a home setting.

Hi, yes it has all been in home settings happening with them playing in the room.
All parents involved will no longer allow play dates with this individual, but I also feel that something has to happen to stop any other children being subjected to it.
There is obviously something not right, maybe not the child's fault directly, but I don't find that to be normal in any way.

It's a very awkward conversation to have with another parent, especially when the child and parent will be seen every day at school... Along with the issue of knowing if they are seeking any help for these issues. You would want to know that there are interventions in place.

This is highly concerning and the level of coercion/ manipulation is a big red flag.

You need to report the behaviour to the safeguarding lead and tell that individual that you will be contacting local social services too.

When I had a concern and I was not sure what action to take I contacted the NSPCC helpline. They gave me advice on the next steps which I followed through.

www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/our-services/nspcc-helpline/

I look back to odd things like this that happened when I was a similar age (a little flasher in the playground, a group of girls who would all go and "show their bottoms" in the toilets at playtimes, I kid you not). And now I wonder where these children got the ideas from, and how many of them had been abused.

Ffs, it's a massive giant safeguarding issue for the boy and anyone else, why wouldn't you think otherwise?

Do not bother having a conversation with the parents. This is a massive red flag it doesn't matter that it happened in a home setting you tell the designated safeguard lead of his educational setting.

Inappropriate play like this can be a sign of that young boy being sexually abused himself and he needs protecting as well as the children he does it to. As far as not wanting to cause the family problems that really shouldn't come into play, you let the appropriate people know, they can build a wider picture and if necessary take further action.

My DC was left alone at play dates at 7. I’d check on them and know where they were but she’d take her friend up to her room to play and I wouldn’t follow her around.

But to answer your question OP it’s not normal and would concern me a lot.