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Original poster

Angry husband

12 replies

Boymom30 · 16/02/2023 18:32

Hi
I dont no where to start and this might not make sense but here goes
We have been together for 10 years and have a great relationship untill over the past few years things arent great.. Firstly my husband can be such a nice person he works hard away with work alot and provides the best things for our family we want for nothing bit over the last few years he has developed an obsession with cleaning and having our house in order...to the point i feel like we dont live in this house no mess nothing out of place i get told to put my clothes away or tody up my things bwfore im finisbed eating my plates gone the kods have to have there rooms tidy nothing can be messy its draining!! To the point i enjoy when hes away with work
He calls me names more often then appologises after hes a nice person but when he looses his temper or doesnt like things he calls me really nasty names, he can be horrible to the kids calls them names swears at them this is getting worse and its not how i want my kids growing up he makes me cry alot wirh how he bwhaves he promises he will chamge and he says sorry. Then again tonight my son didnt take his shoes off he said something mean so my son said it back and he tapped him on tbe ear with his shoe my son then started crying saying how he doesn't like tonight and my husband said behind his back fuck you. I cant take anymore he has appoligises and said he just lost his temper but i dont no what to do im at my limit and it breaks my heart seeing our kids upset he never has anything positive to say to them he always negative or puts them down but he just thinks its a joke

OP posts:
GreenLeavesRustling · 16/02/2023 18:35

Your husband is abusive.
you need to leave or get him to leave. I am so sorry.

Merlinsbeard83 · 16/02/2023 18:37

Sorry I'm confused 😕 he hit your child because he didn't take his shoes off? . If that was my dh he would be out of the house and not aloud back . He obviously needs help . His ocd and anger problems sound awful .

watchfulwishes · 16/02/2023 18:38

I agree this is abusive and controlling behaviour.

You could call Women's Aid to get some advice on what your options are.

Your children would be better living apart from their dad, don't stay 'for them'.

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Mischance · 16/02/2023 18:39

Can't go on. He truly is not a "nice person."

MintJulia · 16/02/2023 18:40

I wouldn't stand for anyone hitting my child with a shoe. He'd be sleeping in the car or at his mum's.

Pashazade · 16/02/2023 18:40

You need to leave. He needs counselling, something is wrong if he never used to be like this. But your children should not have to suffer his moods and anger which is being directed at them! Have you somewhere you can go, is he likely to get violent if you tell him to leave?

BMEC · 16/02/2023 18:42

Are you sure he hasnt got a substance abuse issue? Sounds like a man with a coke problem. I know from experience unfortunately.

Original poster
Boymom30 · 16/02/2023 19:03

Thank you for your replys. I feel abit empty and drained at the moment and was second guessing myself but yes its not right and reading your replys have reassured me its not me. Thank you.. I dont have anywhere else we can go at the moment but i will phone and ask what my next options are to find somewhere else. Never did i think i would find myself in this situation makes me so sad. We are safe he wouldnt be violent if he knew i was leaving hes just trying to be really Appoligetic but its a vicious circle that never ends and i need to end it
Thank you

OP posts:
BodenCardiganNot · 16/02/2023 19:05

We are safe he wouldnt be violent if he knew i was leaving hes just trying to be really Appoligetic but its a vicious circle that never ends and i need to end it

You are not safe and your children are not safe. You know that.

ourflagmeansdeath · 16/02/2023 19:09

I am sorry for your situation but you're being naive. You and your children aren't safe with him, he seems to have OCD and needs to control that. Leave him. Your children deserve better, this will have effects on them in the future and they will put part of the blame on you for not taking responsibility and leaving him. Or at least working on changing your lifestyle.

TinyTeacher · 16/02/2023 21:38

I'm so sorry.
Something is clearly not right with your DH. Butyou don't have the responsibility to fix him, he's an adult and has that responsibility himself and isn't taking it. Your responsibility is to protect your children.

Isithotinhere · 16/02/2023 23:53

You should get advice from Woman's Aid - you say he's not violent but he just hit your son on the head with his shoe. You say he's always apologetic, but then he does it again, so he isn't actually sorry for the way he5treating you and your children.

Working to provid for his family doesn't give him an excuse to abuse you - it's what parents do. If you split up he'll still to support his children.

You say you've nowhere to go, but he could leave, why should your kids be uprooted, when the problem is his behaviour.

You need advice - Women's Aid and a solicitor.

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