Cosleeping and contact naps

[BMEC]

My 11 week old will only sleep on me during the day and I am feeling frustrated as I don't want to wake him to pee/get something to eat. Is anyone else having this issue? I do enjoy the cuddles and know he gets a restful sleep when on me but I literally cannot get anything done. If I put him down in the crib he will only sleep for 20mins or so and then the cycle of overtiredness begins.

Night time is the same he will go in the crib for an hour whilst I get myself ready for bed. After he wakes and realises where he is, he won't go back in there and gets in bed with us. He has to have my body touching his or he wont relax such as my arm underneath him. Even if he is lying beside me he won't sleep!

I suppose I should be greatful that we have this close bond and the breastfeeding is going really well.

Would love to know if anyone else experiences this?

This is absolutely normal. He’s in his fourth trimester and still thinks he is part of you.

Yep, just go with it. I learnt how to pee/ eat / tidy up while holding them. A sling makes doing stuff much easier.

Going with the flow is far easier than getting them into a cot at this age!

This is completely normal, your baby still thinks he is part of you and I think it is rare for a baby of that age to be content without close contact. My son is 11 months and we still contact nap. I fully embrace it and just accept that some stuff won't get done. Don't stress it, once they are older they don't stop for two minutes. Rest up, use the time to relax, (dare I sleep aswell?!), read, scroll on social media etc etc.

My 4 month old also will only sleep on me during the day (luckily will go down in their cot at night for some reason). I’m trying to embrace it too and enjoy the cuddles and an excuse to watch Netflix. But when we’re staying in I try to do maybe one nap a day in the cot just to see if he’ll get used to it gradually but just pick him up and let him nap on me if it doesn’t work. I try to go to the loo when he seems sleepy and grab all the bits I need - drink, snacks etc so I can settle down comfortably!

Yes I have been the loo whilst still holding him 🤣I'm lucky my mum comes round to help with housework if it gets to the point of needing it. Family members make is worse with comments like "you should try putting him down" obviously I've F*ing tried that!

This makes me feel better thanks. I have recently transitioned him out of the swaddle and into a sleep bag so thats also making it more difficult to put him down.

Totally normal. Have you considered baby-wearing? It gives you a bit more freedom while letting him sleep on you 🙂 It does get easier once they find more of a routine too.

I'm another that would encourage baby wearing. My nearly 6mo is currently napping on me in her sling (her sister was the same), and during the day it's the only way I can get things done.

Mine are/were both avid contact nappers. I love it! Perfect excuse to just sit for an hour and watch TV without feeling guilty about the housework or whatever.

Fortunately though, both have always been willing to sleep in their own beds overnight. Tried co-sleeping with DD1 a couple of times and everyone involved kind of hated it - certainly no one slept!

My eldest was like this. It probably wouldn't cheer you up to tell you how long for! But at 11 weeks she would NOT be happy out down. My boys were though, they used to always have their morning nap just in the pram in the sitting room while I got their older sister ready for school. Some babies just need more contact than others! She's 6 now, and while she's still LOVES a good snuggle on the sofa, she also loves plenty of time to herself, plays wonderfully independently or reads on her own etc, and she goes for a sleepover at my parents every other month or so and LOVES it.
Don't feel bad for cuddling your baby. It's not making a rod for your back, it's responding to their needs. It won't make them clingy or unable to sleep alone (I've coslept with all 3, never did bother with sleep training as it's just not for me).

Seconding what others have said about a sling. It doesn't solve everything, but it helps a bit! Will baby sleep on other people? My mum used to come over and just sit on the sofa and DD would nap on her (not on DH though!) And I'm go have a bath in peace and then take a nap upstairs. Sod the cleaning, it'll still be there when your baby starts napping diffferently in a couple of months!

What do you NEED to get done?

EMBRACE IT. Make sure you have a basket with drinks, snacks, chargers, remote. Kick back and watch Netflix.

This stage doesnt last, but I do remember feeling very trapped under baby sometimes so I understand!

Hi OP just thought I’d come on to say my 5 month old is just starting to protest being on me having a nap (which is annoying as I REALLY want to watch Clarksons Farm and You 😂)

it’s ridiculous because in the early days I used to feel miserable that my DP was doing all the washing up and cooking.

When I look back I wish I’d spent more time relaxing and enjoying it, as now he will nap independently - but only for 30mins!

I’m actually going to attempt his next nap on me so I can just laze about 😂 it’s a wet and miserable day here.

Don’t let anyone say ‘you should try this…’ obviously you already have! I used to carefully transition baby to DP when the urge for a wee got too strong 😂 but I’m lucky he works from home usually.

Enjoy the cuddles with your baby, I miss them already and he’s only 5 months old! He just wants to be on the go constantly when awake. Forget any ‘helpful’ advice people give you because I know it just made me feel like crap and that I was doing something wrong because he would only sleep on me.

I've actually not got a sling so I should try one. I do suffer with my back though so not sure it'd be a good option. I might see if I can lend one and see how it feels. I have two big dogs so for me it's more the cleaning up after them, they're messier than kids. My partner isn't back until 7pm so it's trying to cook too. When baby is awake I put him in the bouncy chair and try and do a quick meal.

Thanks for making me feel better! I have a feeling he will be needy til he's a lot older, he's a mummy's boy already. Luckily he will nap on other people however he's difficult to get to sleep as he fights it and cries and protests for a good 15 minutes but after endless rocking will give in.

Definitely get a sling, my second DD lived in hers for a few months and it meant I could play with toddler, make lunch etc as I had my hands free.

My 6 month old contact napped mainly until around 4 months. She will now have naps in the pram and will have short naps when I put her down. I tend to resort to contact or pram naps most days so then she gets decent sleep. I also Co-sleep because her sleep is terrible and it's the only way I can rest. Works for me - will start to transition her to a cot when her sleep gets abit better. You do you - there isn't a right or wrong way but every baby is different and you have to do what makes your life easier. It's perfectly normal for contact naps in my opinion. Do you have a baby sling or carrier?

I appreciate it must be difficult to try and get the basic stuff done if your DP is out at work. Mine is out today, but my confidence has grown since mine was 11 weeks old. I take him in the shower with me now; whereas before I’d fester for days and get miserable about it. I really am lucky he wfh most of the time.

It could be worth trying a sling - I bought one with the intention of using it constantly for cooking, cleaning, walks etc. Tried it once when he was very little (before he could steady his own head) and then decided to tell myself all the stuff that could go wrong using a sling and put myself off 🙄

You’re doing a great job, enjoy having a mummy’s boy while it lasts 🥰 I only have a cat to deal with as well as my baby - and she’s enough! So to sort out your little one, yourself and 2 dogs while your partner is at work is a real achievement in itself! Be proud of yourself and enjoy the cuddles xx

'Yes, Mum, I'll sleep for 8 hours straight ... on you.'

• All 4 of my children

Haha mustn't be too bad if you can manage 4 kids.. hats off to you

I have back problems too but actually found a sling great because it distributes the weight nicely across back & shoulders as opposed to when I hold my DD all the weight stress is in one place. Give it a go. Have a look on Vinted - some very reasonable ones (I have the Ergo 360 mesh & love it).

I used a sling for the first 6 months, got any jobs done and drinks etc sorted then sat down on the sofa for the rest of the nap. I found the better he slept in the day the more I was able to put him down at night. At around 6 months he started to get restless napping on me so we moved to naps in the cot.

A lot of places have sling libraries or baby wearing hire which are really good that you can try before committing to one as they all feel a bit different.

I do everything with mine in the sling, cook, washing, walking dog, walking child to school, food shopping, cleaning and tidying, eating and drinking (even going to the toilet!).

Honestly they are amazing for babies that want to be held.