Sleep training question

[Allthesweets]

Hi all, wondering if anyone can answer. If your baby falls asleep when you go in to do a check in, say after 3 mins, does that negate them learning to self soothe?

Thanks

Do you mean you went in to calm them, and they fell asleep during the calming session?

It probably won't help them learn to self soothe, but it's not the end of the world. Try again next nap - sleep training is a marathon, not a sprint

Hi, yes. My baby seems to fall asleep as soon as I go in to do the check in after a little bit of soothing. Thinking it’s not really helping but don’t want to just leave them to cry it out. This is sheer hell ha.

It’s your comfort of going in and the exhaustion of being upset as to why they’re falling asleep

i think that says that sleep training doesn’t work.

And if you think it’s sheer hell for you, how must your baby feel? 10 x worse I imagine

@EJRB has said it all. It's pretty cruel to train a child to give up all hope that their parent will come to comfort them if they cry.

Some people have to do it. I don't judge. Better to have a sleeping baby than a sleep deprived parent. That can be dangerous. Its bad for a babies development if that don't get the right amount of sleep and some types of sleep training aren't cruel

I don’t think going in regularly to check on them and soothe means they give up hope. Really rather cruel to suggest that a extremely sleep deprived mother is cruel for trying to help her baby sleep better.

Not as cruel as sleep training though!

Its not! She's not leaving them to cry. She checks in

Stop lurking on posts that you clearly don’t agree with and have no experience in, so you can troll people to make yourself feel better.

Ignore the crazies. They're just bitter because they didn't have their wherewithal and sense to sleep train their babies, and instead suffered until repeatedly until their children grew up.

To actually answer your Q. I would suggest extending the time you leave your child to give them the opportunity to learn to self soothe.

I did 5mins, then the next check was 10mins, and then I capped at 15mins - but usually baby would be asleep by this point. At 9 months, and since 5 months, DC settles to sleep with little fuss. And I generally a fussy baby so the sleep was necessary.

Often mothers confused the sound self-soothing for crying. When your child is disturbed, let's say from a nightmare or teething pains, you'll immediately hear the difference. Good luck

Hi OP,

Hopefully things have improved in the last week but I’ve only just seen your post.

I think a short interval for the first check in (3mins) is fine. But you should only be staying for a very short period (a few seconds) and then leaving while the baby is still awake.

If you’re still there when the baby falls asleep then you’re teaching the baby that they have to wait for you to come in before they go to sleep, so it’s not going to work.

Sleep training is the best thing I ever did btw, good luck.