Lieing to husband and not myself after second baby

[LetsBekindx]

Ok so i had my second child 9 weeks ago. Having thoughts on how i desperately want to go out and basically get pissed and have a good time. (classy, i know) I used to smoke, I've started having a cheeky smoke behind dh back( not cool, i know)
i wasn't like this with my first, i wouldn't have dreamed of smoking and wanting to go out drinking and leave him etc.

Obviously i love my children dearly but i dont feel like me and that i cant do the things i did pre kids. I feel guilty and generally a terrible mum for feeling these things etc.
perhaps baby blues 🫤

I think it's very normal to miss your old life when you start having children tbh. Why are you hiding that you are smoking, how would your DH react ?

Hi op, how much time to yourself are you getting? Would dh take the lead on parenting for a while so you can have some time for you? See some friends and get out or even just lie in another room with a hot cup of tea and chocolate and trash TV? I'd say talk to your dh about it- he needs to be supportive and I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're feeling, a lot of people find the jump from 1 to 2 bigger than having 1 in the first place and it's even harder to get time for you with 2. Just keep an eye on yourself. You're still allowed to be yourself as well as mummy and wife etc. It sounds like you need a little time to feel yourself again. Plus hormones can hit you differently with each child/ each birth and pregnancy is different and maybe you've got the experience under your belt to feel able to go out without your children because you've done it before and know that your child was fine. Just be gentle with yourself it's only been 9 weeks and a big change even if its a happy one and even if it's a planned one.

I think 9 weeks is where you really start to feel the effects of being quite trapped and just bursting for some freedom.

I remember at 9 weeks I took my dog out for a walk. I wound up walking for miles. I just needed to get out and feel free. Mum and DH were home with the baby.

With the smoking though - knock it on the head. Or switch to vaping or patches instead. You've done 9 months without while pregnant. You'll regret it later if it spirals.

You can go out and smoke and have fun and have a drink just organise childcare. It’s allowed. You are still you. Be kinder to yourself he didn’t fall in love with Mary poppins and you can be mum and you.

Whatever you choose to do inbetween being mum and partner is up to you. Don’t feel guilty it nice to have a bit of yourself back pre pregnancy 💗