Bloody half term

[user1478639495]

Am I a s* mother? It seems every single person around me has their half term week planned out, days out, days out with friends, days out with other half's, just constantly doing fun stuff.

I messaged a few of my friends to meet up and so far every single one is busy doing one of the above. None of which had bothered to invite us along when they planned it only as I messaged them I felt
Like we could tag along if we wanted to which doesn't make me feel too great.

I can't afford to be going out everyday for fun stuff it's too expensive, my other half is working everyday (like most I thought) so it's just me and the kids, I just thought a few meet ups at the park would be enough and some down time but seems I'm the only one that thinks that's good enough.

I feel really feel like a rubbish mum and to be honest not really apart of my 'friends' lives. It seems if I don't message ppl we will never meet up no one seems to get in touch with me first. Sorry for rant just feel really low about it all. Probably just me.

I’ll be working all but one day of half term and away for 3 of those. Maybe be grateful for the uninterrupted time with your child.

your version of half term sounds great, by the way. Competitive parenting doesn’t bring joy.

Thank you for your reply. Yes your right, I am working 3 days this week so only leaves two days. Think that's making me feel worse as I'm supposed to cram in all this stuff? I think I'm more hurt by my so called friends, going ahead and making plans but not inviting us until we make contact like a guilty conscience or something. Like I say if I don't msg nothing happens. Had a cry this morning so will pull myself together in a mo and crack on, like you say need to be grateful lots of ppl out there having to work full time etc

Are you also the person starting to organise something early on? There might be other parents grateful for a cheaper day out but planning more in advance.

Sometimes we organise stuff, sometimes we don't. This half term is organised practically to the minute. Not all paid activities, but I know what we're doing every day. Today we're visiting someone, tomorrow is a museum, Wednesday is swimming, etc.

We were all very unwell over Christmas and spent pretty much the whole time indoors, and I couldn't face that again!

Stop, take a breath and calm down.

Half term is a chance to:
-connect with your kids
-recharge batteries
-have some relaxed days

You only need to do something. Today we are walking to the new secondhand bookshop. I will spend none of my own money as the kids can use their pocket money if they want anything, we get some nice time together, everyone gets a walk and then they can get back to doing their own things this afternoon.

Do not look on social media as a representative sample - people who post on social media are often embellishing and are they type to do high input activities. There are loads of us just having low key relaxing days.

We don't often see other kids in half term generally - the whole point is it is a break from friends and school for us.

I've planned a couple of things to do with the kids but we're not doing something everyday. The kids are already happy we're having a 'lazy day' today watching movies. I can't afford to do something everyday. Just enjoy the time with the kids x

Half term is a funny one, many people are away or have family plans or are thinking about childcare so make plans for the days off at the last minute. I've also had a last minute scrabble to come up with an activity for my day off, but I'm not taking it personally that people are busy. Picnic in the park? The weather is a bit milder now.

I buy annual passes for local attractions for exactly this reason! Every half term holiday we go to 1 or 2 and take a packed lunch so only need to spend for petrol and maybe an ice cream.

Every 3 months or so I'll save up and buy passes for something. I'm in the south West so we've got Eden Project, Aquarium, St Heligans and a seal sanctuary nearby.

We wing it.
We do things by ourselves and maybe catch up with family.
We work random days too, plus I hate planning.

When DD was small and I didn't have much money I'd research and find out all the free things in the area and make a plan from that. Over lock down it turns out my DD actually much prefers the quiet activities than the all singing all dancing theme park days. We tried to do things in the morning leaving the afternoon for mooching around the house.

Library visit at the beginning of the holiday to get books to read for the rest of it. Check out what other things they are running (might have to do this in advance as somethings have waiting lists). Get a baking book and buy some ingredients on the way home.
One day visit all the parks in walking distance take a picnic.
Wood walk, leaf collecting, tree rubbing, collect twigs and make fairy houses.
Beach visit (I live in walking distance) get wellies and a splash suit on and go splash in the shallows and dig holes. Hot chocolate in flask.
Swimming/climbing/trampoline/bowling cinema - one or two over the week. DD was a competitive swimmer so could swim for free.
Zoo visit - we had a season pass bought by family for Christmas.
Museums free day

We rarely did anything with anyone else just DD and me as everyone else was working/ away or doing things with family. Download a podcast from BBC sounds or similar for those times you are sat alone or take a book.

We wing it I have days holidays that I have to use from last year but inevitably ds has a cold so not sure. We usually just go for walks or use our national trust pass - rarely arrange to meet anyone as we don't really want to

We always wing it. My DC are staying overnight at grandparents tomorrow and on Thursday we're going to a museum but the rest of the time is free. We might go shopping or for a walk or do some baking but kids need to relax too, it's good for their mental health to learn to cope with boredom, and it doesn't hurt them to have a couple of duvet days.

We rarely arrange to meet anyone either. We like the family time.

Depending on ages, play cards or some board games, bake something with them, read them a story, go for a walk and to the park, watch a film and maek pop corn. You've only got a couple of days with them, you don't need to take them to some really expensive place or do things with other people, just have fun at home with them.

Have you planned anything and invited your friends ? If not, why are you hurt if they haven't invited you? Do you always leave it to others to organise things ?

I'll be working, DH will be off but doing DIY. Kids will have a couple of nights at gp's but that won't be anything special (they just hang out and take the dog a walk). So absolutely nothing impressive planned.

I think the sting is that your friends didn't think to get in touch or include you. That would hurt.
All my friends are miles away (I moved area) and local friends aren't close enough for me to expect that, so I'm spared that pain, but it sucks.

Hopefully it's nothing personal and they're just getting on with their own bubble. But when you're reaching out and they're not it isn't a nice feeling.

If you are working three days then perhaps your friends didn’t know when or whether you’d be available? I’m a SAHM and to be honest my first port of call for holiday meet ups is other SAHMs as I know they are about.

It doesn’t mean I like my working mum friends any less, just they are likely to have their kids booked into childcare, if they have taken some days off then I wouldn’t know unless they tell me.

Also I tend to start asking people if they’re about in half term a couple of weeks ahead so they know I’m around and will think of me when organising, and vice versa I know who’s around too.

It’s still often me who reaches out first though! I think perhaps because my two get sick of each other quickly so we value meet ups more 😆